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I hate my Boyfriends 2 kids

AVI's picture

I'm in need of some deep advice! PLEASE!

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we have been friends for 3 years. I've known he had kids since day one. But Oh my! I despise his children. With my manners I've coped with his kids. I'm nice, smile, tend to the kids amd do my best not to lose my mind.

His kids are 6 amd 4 years old. I know the ages seems like they're cute but oh no!  I have a 5 year old sister so I understand how kids can be. Playful, handful etc. But these kids are something else.

The kids stay with us for 2 days and then go to their mom for 2 days etc. 

The 6 year old talks back like a teenager, I'm not exaggerating! Harsh and very angry. They have tried time outside but he gets up walks away and doesn't care, or sneaks out through the window, yells "shut-up" calls me "crazy" with such hatred in his eyes and cries uncontrollably screaming bloody murder while harshly scratching his face.  Even threatened to call the cops. Jesus, he is only 6! 

The 4 year old . Screams at the top of his lungs amd high pitched because he knows I highly dislike it. When I say no dont do that or please dont touch that, he will get mad and raise his hand ready to snack me. It's unbelievable. 

I dont have any kids of my own, so I dont butt in into their parenting techniques, but i will say, I was raised a bit old school and my 3 younger siblings from 18. 13 and 5 have never disrespected an adult, harshly spoke back to an adult or even threatened. I know a few parenting techniques due to seeing my parents handle my siblings with rules amd respect so I am flabbergasted by whitnesing these misbehaved children( in m eyes).

Due to it. I hate these kids.  I tried my best to like them and handle it. But I can't.  I've told my boyfriend about my feelings towards his kids but he believes im simply being rude. 

What should I do? Im going crazy! Am I being harsh? Being with those 2 kids for 2 days is an eternity for me! 

Winterglow's picture

If you cannot stand them now, just imagine the hell you'll be living in when they're teenagers. My advice is to walk away, no ... run away from this situation now. The guy can't see what's wrong with his kids' behaviour now and he never will. No man is worth putting up with a living situation like yours. 

elkclan's picture

Kids are like little wild animals if allowed to be - and it sounds like they have been allowed to be. At this age, this is not - cannot be - their fault. So there is little point in hating them. You are misplacing your well-deserved anger on them when it should be on your boyfriend. 

You are too young to be burdened with this. And you are not rude to bring up the behaviour. He is reacting defensively because he knows that he's not doing his job as a parent. He either needs to man up or you need to move on. 

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

By believing you are "rude" your BF is dismissing your concerns about his children. Rude, uncontrolled, misbehaved brats are often a direct reflection of the lack of parenting by the mother and father who can't see that their little angels are actually feral monsters in need of discipline. Your dreamboat boyfriend is a parental shipwreck...
It is not your responsibility to parent these kids or put up with it. Move on because it will only get worse - with you being seen as the problem.

STaround's picture

1.  Every woman who is pregnant who says I wont use TV as a babysitter EVER.

2.  Mothers of toddlers who say, I will make certain my teen never does x, y, z.

3.  Every adult who says I never gave my parents any lip -- would love to hear their parents version.  Memories are not perfect. 

4.  Adults who say this generation is so much worse.   

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

― Socrates

tog redux's picture

I don't get what she's saying. These children sound completely feral by any generation's standards.

Harry's picture

Then asked a question, They already know the answer too ?   What can anyone tell you.  BM and BF are not parenting there kids.  If you read these boards, you will see this will never change. When these kids go to jail, it still will not be there fault, and  your SO will be paying for lawyers and putting money on there account.

you know the answer.  If you can not live this way then don’t. You gave it a good try, and now it’s time to leave. Or you can stay and be on these boards the rest of your life 

ndc's picture

I would get out of this relationship. The combination of ill behaved children and a father who takes their side over you is a recipe for trouble.  It will not get better.

Letti.R's picture

If you think the answers are all one sided and people are singing from the same hymn sheet, it is because we have had heard this song before.

Same advice from me.
It won't change when Dadddddeeee won't parent and sides with his kids over you.
Save yourself the trouble and believe what you are told above.

Stepmommy14's picture

You need to get out of the relationship NOW. it only gets worse when you get married and then you're really trapped. If you cant stand his kids now then you shouldn't marry him. Sorry to be harsh but it's best you hear it now

Stepmommy14's picture

You need to get out of the relationship NOW. it only gets worse when you get married and then you're really trapped. If you cant stand his kids now then you shouldn't marry him. Sorry to be harsh but it's best you hear it now

Mountains's picture

all I can say is this is the best it will most likely be...decide if you want this and possibly a lot worse in the many years to come...if so, go for it...