I dealt with this with my SD.  I made DH cook when she was here.   If she was here and DH was not around, she could ask nicely if she planned on eating with the rest of us, or I’d just assume she didn’t like my cooking and would prepare something for herself.  It lasted maybe 6 months to a year, but ever since I haven’t heard a word about how terrible my cooking is and how BM does it so much better, she hasn’t gushed over DHs cooking,  and she hasn’t tossed any food in a long time either.  Occasionally I do get an honest compliment  and sometimes an honest complaint too - but that’s ok.

Ha ha - my step kids would starve. But they know which side their bread is buttered on - so I only get honest compliments and yes, sometimes honest complaints. They know I'm not the one who accidentally puts hot paprika on their food instead of the mild. 

I just started experiencing this from my SDstb13 too! I don't normally cook; DH is a much better cook than I am and he enjoys doing it, so normally DH cooks when he's home. However, he travels often enough and now that the skids live with us full-time, I foolishly felt the need to be able to give the skids the same nutitious dinners during the nights he's away. I've been practicing making simple but healthy chicken and rice type meals. Nothing fancy, very basic but similar to a number of things I know both DH and BM make. 

This past week, I made dinner twice and both nights SDstb13 requested a hot dog because, even though she eats drumsticks and wings at restaurants, BBQs, and other people's houses, she "doesn't like the way the chicken attaches to the bone" in my dinners. Sure, Jan.

I was livid last night. But I did not let her see it, of course. I just sweetly said, "Well, you are almost 13. You really don't need me to cook for you when your dad is gone. You're old enough to make your own dinners now." She flashed me those uh-oh eyes as she tried to process which way to play it because of course she doesn't want to do anything for herself but she also doesn't want to indicate she likes anything I do for her.

Whatever. Disengagement begins in 3... 2... 1... I don't care if she eats a fliping hot dogs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I will not so much as make her a piece of toast! 

All this to say, I totally get it OP! 

He is allowing this to happen. If DH can not cook, then she makes something herself. PB&J or PB without the J 

Who does the same thing.  Whenever he compliments the food, it's always to his dad, who promptly tells him it was me who cooked.

Ironically, one of the few things he likes about our house is the food.  Which is almost always cooked by me.  LOL!

Why serve the brat at all?  Make dinner for you and your kids (if you have them) and be done with it.  Let DH serve his own brat when he gets around to it.  Less work for you.  

Not your circus; not your monkey. This is DH's problem. And since SD's only 'issue' is who serves the food and NOT that it's food she doesn't like, Daddeeeee needs to lay down the law that THIS IS DINNER. Eat it or go hungry.

Frankly, this was a YUGE disengagement thing for me. I stopped cooking when the skids came over. DH cooked the crap the skids liked and ate it with them. I either went out for a nice meal or cooked something scrumptious after they ate their craptastic crud. Shrimp scampi, cordon bleu chicken, steak...

Remove all the junk from the house and let the brat starve if she doesn't eat dinner.

I'd tell him he must do all the cooking, serving and cleaning because you're worried the little dear may become anorexic. Honestly, I can't think of a better excuse to get out of dreaded cooking duty. RUN WITH IT!!!!!!!!!

(If I found food thrown away like that, I'd beat that kid's ass. That ain't right to waste when so many go without. She's spoiled if that behavior is OK. I don't know how you do it!)

YSS used to be a very picky eater so I made sure to cook thinks I know he likes.  Suddenly he now no longer likes what I make even when he has had it before and loved it.

i refuse to make a separate meal.  YSS has actually gone without eating several times because he refused to eat dinner that he had eaten in the past and loved.

Ohhh hell no. 

Your DH needs to get on top of this. That's beyond rude and disrespectful. Whenever my SD makes a small comment about food I serve, DH is on her immediately telling her she's not to be unappreciative. She can eat it or not, but comments or faces are NOT tolerated. We had a period of time where we had to send her to her room as SOON as she made a comment or face. She came back down after everyone finished eating and ate on her own then went to bed early. 

This happened maybe 3 times before she stopped with the comments and faces. I don't mind people genuinely not liking a meal I've prepared, but if you're rude about it, NOPE no way. Not ok in my house. If DH didn't handle it and she made comments/faces, I'd make my own meal for my son and I and he could be in charge of him/her. 

Skids and the never ending food battle.  My SD will slowly play with her food for hours and eat super slow when she doesn't like something but still acts like she likes it.  I find it so annoying but I find all of her food habits annoying.  After a few times of watching her waste my food I leave it up to SO when she is there and also b/c she is ALWAYS hungry and eating.  I let him deal with it.  Her food issues are now his problem.  SO also does something that really annoys me when we have her.  EVERY time we have her he is overly concerned with food and our whole entire food agenda basically.  I know it is b/c he wants to make sure his precious has food she likes but he won't ever admit that.  He will also sometimes ask me to save some leftovers for the next time SD comes over b/c she really likes them.  Really!?!? NO!  I will not cater to the spoiled entitled brat as you do!  I also quit going grocery shopping before she visits b/c she would eat ALL of my snacks/treats/etc and my family then goes without for a week b/c she eats that much!  I guess I have the opposite problem, lol, but it is so annoying.  I was pissed a week or two ago when I found out that SD had consumed 6 packs of popcorn (full size bags) in 3 visits and not one person living in the home full time had any.  SO actually confronted her on that for once and told her she needed to be more considerate of others in the home and not eat everything because other people want to eat it also!  I literally hide food when I know she is coming and she will almost always find it and help herself.  I am strongly considering hiding some laxative chocolates in the cupboard and watching the $hit show!

My skids did this in the beginning.  They wouldn't eat anything I cooked.  We think BM was telling them it was poisoned.   One day, I made dinner but DH told them that he made it.  They ate every bite.  Later that evening, he told them that I had made the dinner, and you should have seen the looks on their faces.  He asked them if they felt sick.  No.  Did you die?  No.  Then you know that Gwynnafaye isn't doing something bad to your food.  No problems after that.  

Mammals bond with whoever feeds them.  Sharing food and eating together is a bonding ritual, skids avoid real intimacy. 

Stop eating with her.