the beginning
I just waant to tell my story... i have wanted to do a blog but it seems overwhelming to talk about 10 years in a blog... so I'll start in the beginning and add until I catch up to today. If anyone cares to hear my experiences.
In 2008 had been married for 18 years. My ex was a hard working, good man and we had a great life I never imagined divorce an option/possibility. I now beleive he made a common mistake and fell for the "grass is greener" deal and met someone and asked me for a divorce. He wasn't a cheater previous, he had a mid-life crisis. At the time our kids were BD16, BD15, BS13. I wasn't perfect... I accept 30% of the blame for the divorce. (def not 50%) I was a good wife but I was 100% into my children. As humans my children were already formed for the most part at the time of the divorce but the divorce devastated them. They didn't understand, never saw us fight, in general it was tough for them. What wasn't tough, was continiuing on the path of raising healthy children and never once pitting them against their dad, nor him against me. We communicated in a healthy manner and co-conspired against the kids when they tried to divide and conquer. I was a strict mother who beleived that my children needed to experience mistakes, consequences, successes, hard choices, etc. That was 10 years ago. Since then, both my daughter's are successful working pediatric nurses and my son is now finishing up college with 4.0 and has the world at his disposition. My ex about 6 years ago, took my kids out to dinner and broke down telling them that leaving me/us was the most selfish thing he ever did in his life. Even tho they had a decent relationship for those years, he begged for their forgiveness and although I wasn't there, just hearing that made me feel sort of vindicated and good. He is pretty miserablely married to the "other woman" according to my kids with occasional police being called during arguments, etc. Not anything like my marriage to him or my current marriage.
I was miserable not being married. My children were my world but I felt incomplete.. Like an unemployed wife.
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Comments
Welcome! Looking forward to
Welcome! Looking forward to your story.
Our BM left for a 'grass is always greener' as well. Only she spent and still spends all of her time scheming to destroy the happiness of others. All while pretending to have a great new marriage, yet she is hell bent on the notion of 'if I can't have him nobody can' with my SO.
It's funny how there is always common ground here!
Welcome! It is always nice to
Welcome! It is always nice to see a fellow mom who knows the importance of dad's in kids lives. Glad to see at least one side of your story shows mature parenting!
Most times the grass isn't
Most times the grass isn't always greener and it was just a matter of time before he realized what he had with you. It was big of him to acknowledge that and ask his kids for forgiveness. You & XH raised great kids regardless of what you both went through, you tried your best not to make things worse. Wishing you much happiness.
Welcome to Steptalk!
What a fabulous introduction. If youd like my story, in return, read my blogs here in steptalk - its all in there!!!!!
There is a wonderful blog/website for those who have been chumped, er left because there was another woman. called chumplady.com
Her wit and wisdom are the highlight of my day!
My DH - his at the time DW was somehow "tricked" by his friends wayward wife, to go online and find men (that is how he chooses to see it) She would go online and have "emotional affairs", was sent "d!ck pics" from different guys, told a friend and she in turn informed DH. He kicked her out, but she kept coming back, they tried to wreck-oncile and he kept moving her out. Eventually it stuck, and eventually we realized we loved each other and that was the start of their "real" separation.
After he kicked her out, she insisted nothing was ever physical (yah right, and the moon is made of cheese dontcha know!) So, she went back online. He fooled her with a fake profile just to prove to himself that she was lying, and poof! he showed up for their date to show her that she was caught.
My DH, we met when he was first in his separation. ANd after 1.5 years of friendship made it official, and about 6 months ago eloped and made it REALLY official. Boy did that make Toxic Troll blow her lid. It seems like the grass wasnt greener for her - it was brown and full of sh!t and holes and trash.
She broke up a family with 2 little girls and a hardworking loving husband. Ive got him now and the youngest thinks of me like a second mom. Especially when she needs help. lol.
So, welcome!