So I officially have been disengaged from OSD and her husband (who has reached out via draw something app. Don't know what that's about but I digress. Poor guy!)...YSD recently turned 18. I've been more or less disengaged from her for 2.5 years. We send her a small Christmas gift each year though, she at least plays the game and sends a little thank you note. Anyway, typically, in years past, thanksgiving was our thing, because I cook and do it up big. This year has been such a relief. Not having to cajole anyone to come out, no stresses at all. I realize now how much energy I really spent trying to make them happy (which is an impossible task and not my job anyway!)...it just feels good. And with Christmas, I'm not stressed either. Haven't decided exactly how we will handle it, but I do know it going to be scaled way back. And when we get zero reply from OSD (who never acknowledged the hand quilted baby blanket I sent for her baby shower, and in fact didn't even open it at the baby shower at all! That led to my feelings being super hurt.) it won't bother me because I have put zero personal effort into said gift. I have a small "gift drawer" where I keep last minute gifts I buy throughout the year...basically little hostess gifts. Thinking YSD will get something from that little drawer. And I do think husband is planning on giving his grandchildren gifts (things I got on clearance after Christmas this year) but I won't be putting any of it the mail, or expending any energy whatsoever worried about their thoughts on their gifts...which was a huge problem for me in the past, that the gifts weren't nice enough, weren't acknowledged, etc etc. Because they aren't getting anything particularly special, I could care less if they don't acknowledge. I plan on using all this newfound positive energy making Christmas extra special for my very own kids. to you stepmom's still in the trenches, dealing with the ungrateful ness and bratiness, please know it's not you. It's them. The holidays just exacerbate already stressful bonds. I hope you take some time to yourself and with your loved ones to feel that special Christmas spirit.