StepDaughter Sending Dad Bikini Pics - is this normal??
I have been with my husband for 7 years. His son 39 and daughter 36 have been insulting to me to the point of writing I’m a whore on my FB page and even involving the police. I have only been gracious to them and given them chance after chance to start again for the sake of my husband. They have sent him legal letters to try to get money from him and have guilted him into paying for way too many things. Their mother died a year and a half before we met yet you’d think I had something to do with it. What’s more they use it all the time to hurt him. Recently.SD who alwaya cries she has no money despite Botox, hair extensions, spray tans, breast augmentation and driving a BMW went on an expensive vacation and sent a skimpy picture to her dad. It gave me a bad taste in my mouth. This woman constantly behaves as though she is his cheated on wife instead of his daughter. Am I overreacting? Is it normal to go on holiday with your son and boyfriend and send a pic of only yourself in very little and very posed for to your dad?
In a word, no! Sounds like a
In a word, no! Sounds like a VERY dysfunctional family.
I believe it is emotional
I believe it is emotional incest and/or mini wife; maybe she believes she took over where BM left off, when BM passed. She is also trying to make you jealous of course. But that's just my opinion and I'm not an expert.
It sounds like you have never engaged with this SD or even had a functional family here. I suggest total disengagement and build a life with DH and your marriage. Leave adult skids to their life and set boundaries to keep them out of your life.
Not normal in my book. My SD57 used to tell stories to DH about her marriage and sex life with son-in-law (SIL); sometimes in front of me, but I'm guessing more I didn't hear and always behind SIL's back. Of course SIL is oblivious to all of this talk, even today, after at least 10 years. It's sick in my book.
Block your skids from your FB. I did this with SD and SGD34 (mother/daughter). Social media is a weapon for cowards!
It was the swim suit she
It was the swim suit she chose to wear on her trip on a beach and be seen by all others also visiting the beach. So it's not like she was sending Dad dirty little secrets. Ignore her.
If you go making a stink about the pic, you'll be giving her the attention she desires to prove to her father you're the jealous old evil SM she keeps claiming you are. Honestly, you see a inappropriate 'sexy' pic of a woman in a swim suit barely covered. He sees his daughter in a swim suit like half the other women on the beach would be wearing and thinks 'oh, good my daughter is having a great vacation'.
Block your husband's adult children on facebook. There is no need for you to be subjected to their rude nasty behavior.
Focus on your marriage, your husband an your home along with your day to day life. Trying to get long with these children when they refuse to play nice, just isn't worth your effort. Don't dwell on their shenanigans.
I'll assume anything with finances they are whining over has to do with their late mother's estate and it is all pre-martial affairs that a lawyer could clearly answer questions for them about. Just be sure DH isn't handing out current martial and/or joint funds.
Sound advice.
Sound advice.
It is beyond weird..... but I
It is beyond weird..... but I will not let this upset me...There's nothing you can do about it, and if you do try and say something it's going to look like you are a cow... simply ignore it...
We once had a small incident where Aergia showed her father something very close to porn, I was disgusted and asked her, do you have no self respect as a woman, going around showing men pictures of this? Seriously...... The whole issue was a about a woman who wanted to put some spark back in her marriage and she send a naked picture to her husband... but actually it was on a school group page, thus this photo went around to every one...
Yes stupid of the woman to do this, but still no reason for a 17 year old to show her father.... in SO's defense when Aergia wanted to show him he told her hell NO it's disgusting...And this whole thing went down with allot of people in the group......
Weird but I'd just completely
Weird but I'd just completely ignore all communications between DH and SD. In these situations ignorance can be bliss.
How about provocative photos?
Stemming from the bikini pic portion of this forum, I’m curious to know thoughts about provocative pics? My boyfriend’s 26yr old daughter has sent 2 or 3 bikini pics over the last 2yrs. I thought it was odd, but he appeared to be a little surprised too, so I didnt push it. A few days ago, he told me she did a “sexy photo shoot”, then showed me all the pics she sent him from the shoot. I was disgusted! I diplomatically told him I could never send sexy pics of myself to my dad. He admitted it was a little uncomfortable knowing she was doing the shoot, so I saw that as an opportunity to encourage him to tell her just that. Then, he became very defensive and insisted that he wants her to feel beautiful and he only wants to offer support for her to feel beautiful. I tried to clarify my feelings and pointed out that it’s one thing to do the shoot and share with a boyfriend/husband; not her dad. Am I being a prude? These pics were VERY seductive.
The Electra Complex. “The
The Electra Complex. “The Electra complex, as proposed by Carl Jung is a girl’s psychosexual competition with her mother (or, Bingo!, step-mother) for possession of her father. A boy’s analogous experience is the Oedipus complex. If sexual competition for the opposite-sex parent is unresolved, a . . . fixation might arise, leading a girl to become a woman who continually strives to dominate men (including her own father), either as an unusually seductive woman (high self-esteem) or as an unusually submissive woman (low self-esteem)."
I would say daddy blew it already. SD is or is in the process of morphing into a mini-wife, meaning she will absolutely insist on being his #1 “wife” in his life and household at all times. And, unfortunately, a lot of questionable (? Is that the right term?) men don’t see anything wrong with their daughters acting like wives, whether through provocative pictures or through domination or manipulation. Some men even love it. They love what they see as women competing over them. It is actually extremely unhealthy for any and all, and women who get involved with or, God forbid!, marry these kind of men are in for a life of H, E, double-toothpicks.
No, you aren't being a prude.
No, you aren't being a prude. Boundaries are something that seem to be transient in far too many situations with adult Skids.
This Is NOT NORMAL
It is very distorted and perplexin
Stick to your initial thoughts! This is beyond weird, and DH needs to point out that the most beautiful things aren’t easily seen. We mine the earth for diamonds, they’re not just laying in plain sight. We have to harvest the oyster to find the pearl and the beauty of the human soul is not readily visible. I realize beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, however most gentleman like to leave something to the imagination, and classy ladies use that as their guide.
A daughter has no business sending dadddee seductive photos of herself.