First weekend
where I did what I wanted!
I wasn't there when he brought the kids home from school Friday. (I hate it when they're just home from school, they both fight to tell the longest, more boring stories every, louder and louder til my ears are ringing) Usually I ould be there making dinner but I stayed at my place and he ordered pizza for them. I had a nice dinner, relaxed, got some work done while he took them to the cinema. They got home around 9.30 so I went to see them. Stayed over, made breakfast then went off with my friends.
SS14 is in trouble for not handing in homework again despite lying to my OH that it was all done. He has talked OH into buying him the newest iPhone if he does well in exams but the homework thing led OH to ask why he hadn't done it... Upon inspecting his phone it seems he's spending up to 5 hours a day on Reddit! BOOM! Both kids have time limits and parental controls on their phones now. 3 hours a day screen time. Both were very unhappy indeed.
Anyway, after seeing my friends I returned to OHs as he'd bought lunch for all of us. Usually I would make lunch then entertain/babysit SS14 while SD10 was off at some club with her father, before dropping SS14 back to his mothers. Not this time.
We even went out for dinner since I felt 100% less drained than I normally do bt the time they've gone home. But OH cant stop making little comments about how I'm "picking and choosing" and "only doing what I want." I kept my cool, but explained that I could see how manipulative he was being, it wasn't going to wash with me and I would do as I like.
I confronted him about not being the woman he wants anymore because I'm refusing to do what he wants anymore, I was angry that he was not seeing the good it would do for us as a couple, but instead only the "more work" he had to do looking after himself and his kids. Things that are not my job. I was clear tht this would either vastly improve our relationship or end it, either way it would be better than carrying on as we were.
Thank you for all the replies on my last post, can't tell you how much difference you've made.
- Lavender88's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
But OH cant stop making
But OH cant stop making little comments about how I'm "picking and choosing" and "only doing what I want."
That's the beauty of not having kids, we can do what we want. Besides, it's good for him to spend time with his own kids, without a buffer. And the kids can't say that they don't get any time with just their dad.
Let him pout. If he doesn't get over it, you can decide how to proceed.
Yes! OP this is just his envy
Yes! OP this is just his envy coming out. He is seeing you get back to the better you and is jealous he can't be a part of that with you because he has to parent his children. It's like that saying, everyone cheers for change until you are doing better than them.
LOL. "Picking and choosing
LOL. "Picking and choosing and only doing what you want".
He does realize that you are not obligated to do ANYTHING for these kids, right? Zero. You have no responsibility for them whatsoever. He's lucky you choose to do anything with them. So sad that he has to "do more work" to take care of the two children he brought into the world with no help from you.
I'd have a hard time with his entitled attitude.
Just smile and say “it’s
Just smile and say “it’s lovely to be able to pick and choose “.
Good!
Keep on doing it. My DH was super resentful when I disengaged. We had an epic argument one night too, but I stuck to my plan.
He saw the light and we made it through. Our marriage is very good. We still have incidents with SDs but are able to work on it because I (and he) know my limits.
I'm "picking and choosing"
I'm "picking and choosing" and "only doing what I want."
Ha ha - too bloody right you are. I don't do that myself, but that's because I also have a biokid. If I didn't, you better believe I'd be picking and choosing. When he has his kids and I don't have my son - I go to work and he looks after his kids. Occasionally I will cover for him if he has a work thing he can't get out of, but he does the same for me. My kid my responsibility, his kids - his responsibility. My partner - who I adore - I help him withi his responsibilities and he does for me. Sometimes he helps my son with his homework, but he picks and chooses which assigments he WANTS to help with - basically the ones which align with his professional and personal interests. Fair enough!