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"Will dealings with BM ever get better?"

MJL2010's picture

Submitted by MJL2010 on Thu, 09/13/2018 - 11:39am

No, grasshopper, not if your BM is a narcissist. 

If your troubles with BM are entirely becaue of a silly misunderstanding, you're probably not even reading this, because chances are that you were NOT searching for a site to come vent to make sense of the insanity!

So TEN YEARS LATER, I have stopped feeding into her nonsense....STOPPED thinking that I could make things better if I just emailed her ONE MORE TIME....STOPPED reacting to her insanity. I have had no direct contact with her for the better part of a year. 

Even so, her hatred of me just keeps popping up. Part of it is her personality disorder, part is that she is a really bad mother and awful human. But I know now that this will never change. Not now, not when the twins go to high school or college, when they get married or when they have kids of their own. I hold out no hope for this, and I would encourage those of you who are wondering how long your nut job BM can keep up her insanity, to process that it won't likely ever change!! Who knows, maybe I'm wrong- maybe someone will develop a cure for narcissism that makes it possible for these people to get help without knowing it! Wink

The latest:

*She is again threatening to "get" full custody and if she can't get it, she is going to "give" SSstwinsAandB13 to their father.....

*She may have to move [again] which would necessitate their switching school districts ;(

*She is still not working and has told them that she will not take any job that pays less than $100,000

*She blocks my number from their phones (which we pay for) whenever they come back to her custody

*She calls them "traitors" and makes fun of the name they call me- goes around ranting and saying "mama" in baby/cartoon voice

Lol. And at the same time, no laughing matter, all rolled into one massively insane situation. 

 

Comments

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Thu, 09/13/2018 - 12:46pm

Your spot on !! No one can and I DO MEAN no one can reason with someone like that. 

As long as BM can not get to the twins ie Pathogenic Parenting hopefully you will NOT see her regain custody. Dont put your guard down...IF she is a dog on a bone to get custody back that means she will not stop until she does.

I understand what your going thru. Sad

 

MJL2010's picture

Submitted by MJL2010 on Thu, 09/13/2018 - 1:07pm

Thank you, Goodluck! She has threatened it several times over the years so we are not sure how seriously to take her- but you are exactly right. Can’t count on anything with this type of person.

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Thu, 09/13/2018 - 2:14pm

My experience has been that if DH is on board with trying to keep her under control you can to an extent. BM in my case constantly needed to make her presence known in our lives and even flat out telling her do not call after this time or for anything unimportant she still annoyed us constantly. Ignoring her unless we absolutely had to talk to her (especially when she tried to pick fights) helped tone it down some. Still though, when we do absolutely have to contact her she thinks she can worm her way back in and turns it up for awhile.