I’m hoping you guys might have a little advice.

I believe that consequences for children should be reasonable and immediate but how do you do this when there are two homes involved. In our case we have the children every weekend.

For the past few weeks we’ve had problems with them not cleaning there room completely. I don’t expect perfection but they’ll leave a pile of toys under their desk and things like that. We have them clean up every night before bed and then before they go back to mom’s.

I really noticed issues starting last week. I was trying to get them ready for bed and they had left a pile of toys under the ladder to the top bunk. After getting onto them twice for not cleaning I went in and pointed out exactly what I was talking about. Again not perfection but toys under the ladder are unsafe.

When I was telling them they weren’t done cleaning up the oldest just kept saying she was sleeping on the floor again to excuse the blankets and pillows but that wasn’t my issues and I clearly addressed that. She got upset and hid from me the rest of the night even refusing to join us for story time.

Well yesterday before they left we ran into it again where they wouldn’t finish cleaning. Their dad and I together told them anything left out would be taken. I then pointed out the fact that they left a lot of blocks on the floor and the oldest said something to the effect of, I don’t care because we have a lot more. I said they wouldn’t have any then because they didn’t respect what they had but she made no attempt to go back and finish picking up what was left.

After they left we went in together and picked up everything left out and pulled the blocks completely. We’ve got two decent size tubs of toys + the blocks. I know for a fact a few of their favorite toys were left out and got placed inside.

Here’s where I’m at a loss. If it were a normal home we would have done this after they left for school and addressed it when they got home but that can’t happen. We have 4 days until they come back. I also want to figure out a way for them to earn them back because as I said I know some of these toys are items they play with regularly. We already threw out the junk and broken stuff but what’s left is a mix of parts. For example we have over half of the track to a marble run set that the kids play with every weekend. It has its own tub that’s currently half empty because they didn’t make any attempt to put the stuff away.

I know that at mom’s home the kids aren’t responsible for picking up after themselves and this is our first major go through like this. At the same time we’re not just nitpicking. They are 9 and 6 so I know they are old enough to clean up after themselves.