The feeling is very normal and a common one. I have experienced this often as well however I do not believe having a child with my husband is a good decision. We have the skids full time and they take up so much of our time and resources. I'm not sure I have much left in me to raise one more. I also do not believe my husband can afford it. I can also see it causing major problems with the skids going by the way they behave. The skids are very jealous and controlling over everything. I can't eat certain (junk) foods when they around without it becoming a fight over who gets what and why. Skids also talk badly about and are very negative and critical about everyone, including other kids their ages. Cant imagine what having another sibling would be like, especially one they aren't fully related too. I do think women like ourselves have this very normal feeling frequently and decide to try to make it go away by having a child. However read the other posters on here who have done this. Particularly there is one woman on here who just had a baby and it is causing a lot of issues with her skid. Blended families are so difficult and it seems adding more children makes them more so.

Never put off having Bio kids because of SK. Or DH can’t afford it.  That will drive you insane in latter life, when SK tell you your not there mother !!   There was no problems when DH had kids with BM,  most likely could not afford it at that time.  If SK don’t like it they can live with BM 

I used to feel left out. I always felt like I wasn't part of something so huge (a biological connection between parent and child) and although I didn't want that with SD, I didn't like being around it constantly when it was something I didn't have. I have an 11 month old now and he's my entire universe. I don't worry anymore about SDs influence on him or anything - he's my baby and I'm the one raising him. What I say goes. He won't be anything like SD because I won't let it happen. 

Now, SD is the one feeling left out, which causes some issues but at the end of the day, I'm able to ignore it and focus on the sweet little boy who is my reason for being. I look at him and feel an incredible sense of calm no matter what's happening. There is truly no love like the love you'll have for your own child. It's beautiful and although in a blended family, it can be difficult, it's so so so worth it. 

Sorry I tend to intellectuallize. You have what’s called vicarious grief. You never experienced the loss of said experience but you still experience it as a loss although you never truly lost that experience. If you want articles on it I can message you the aeticles. It’s a journey you must take. At 35 however you can still conceive. It’s not too late. I have friends who are pregnant at age 42. Technology and medical advancements make a lot of things possible. Don’t give up hope. I know I wanted a child for myself regardless of coupledom status so I had DD. There is hope. You are young. Don’t tie your feelings for motherhood with Your SO’s current situation. 

I had my son at 37 (just - he should have been born when I was 36 - tardy little so and so) and I was in a very low sex marriage (at that point) - technically and actually sexless at other points. It can be done! 

I felt jealous too, watching DH love a child he was given by another woman,  a child he shares with another woman, i always think its a bond and connection to create and share a life with someone. Now we have our own son, who is a part of me and him, I am happy to be the mother of his child. Im happy to see him cuddly and affcetionate with BS because i know this is a child he got from me, the child we created together. SS is feeling like an outsider because his half brother is a mixture and a creation of both mom and dad, and also has both mom and dad under the same roof.

I felt jealous too, watching DH love a child he was given by another woman,  a child he shares with another woman, i always think its a bond and connection to create and share a life with someone. Now we have our own son, who is a part of me and him, I am happy to be the mother of his child. Im happy to see him cuddly and affcetionate with BS because i know this is a child he got from me, the child we created together. SS is feeling like an outsider because his half brother is a mixture and a creation of both mom and dad, and also has both mom and dad under the same roof.

I met my DH when I was in my later 30's.. we got married when I was about 39.. after 3 years together.  I didn't want to try to have kids before we got married and by the time we WERE married.. well.. I'm 52 and it just never happened.  Now, I never went for any special treatments or anything.  My DH did have two girls and honestly, I had been a bit on the fence about having kids so I felt I didn't want to push things.

Now I have some regrets... but also have some realistic thoughts in that we were able to do a lot of things that we never would have done if I had gotten pregnant.  Plus... rushing into having a kid, is maybe a bigger risk than waiting and the stakes higher.  I see a ton of situations on here where the women would have been well served to not get pregnant so soon because they just start to realize that their DH isn't the man/husband they thought he would be.. and they are stuck.  I might explore with your OBGYN what your fertility picture looks like.. and are you going to be "ok" if you never CAN have kids?

I am currently (and naturally) pregnant at 43. And this is after the fertility doc told me I had diminished  ovarian reserve with less than 5% chance of getting pregnant, even with IVF. Please don’t give up hope. There’s still time at your age if you really want to have your own children. A sm should NEVER give up her desire to have her own children just because her SO has them already.

I just turned 50, and see many friends with toddlers, and children. I see DH being a really great father, and wish that we had an "ours child". The fact is, and will always be, that ToxicTroll and DH had the children that I wanted to have. She will always have that connection to him, and I have really been resentful of that. I dont know if it makes me feel better or worse, but DH tells me that I am a better mother to Munchkin SD12 than her own mother is. 

Just recently DH battled ToxicTroll in court over Child Support (he wasnt paying any and she wanted more money and said "there was no bad blood"...whatever ToxicTroll eff you). She of course won, but it wont break us. In her papers she CLAIMED that she wanted to take her daughter shopping for things and get her haircuts, instead of me the "live in" taking her. I hope that Munchkin benefits, and I am trying to see it as merely a shift in money spent on SD. But the fact remains that this nice kid will always in some way belong to ToxicTroll. And I hate that fact.

I have a child with DH now and a child on the way, but I remember being childless, wanting a child and being unable to conceive. I felt jealousy, but it was more sadness and frustration because I was caring for his kids full-time, helping him deal with his crazy ex, and knowing that the stress of steplife was probably affecting my fertility.

For me it was the opposite. I met DH when I was 33. I wasn't sure if I wanted to have kids and DH was pressuring me only because he was afraid that I'd want kids in the future and might not be able to have them. When I made the decision to want to start trying, it took two full years to get pregnant. We tried naturally for a year and a half, then went to a fertility doctor. I had surgery, we had two IUIs, and were about to do another IUI or start IVF, but I got pregnant naturally while on vacation (this vacation was without skids and the first time that we didn't have them with us in almost 12 months, plus the skids were at DH's mother's, not with BM while we were on vacation, so we weren't bombarded by craziness. In other words, it was the first time we could relax in about 12 months). I had a baby at 37. We wanted another, but I didn't want to go through nightly shots and the near daily dr's appointments during ovulation, so we figured we'd try naturally and if it didn't happen we'd be fine with it. We've very actively tried every month for two and a half years before getting a positive pregnancy reading and now we are going to have a second child together.

Is the reason that you are waiting because of financial reasons or maybe because of relationship issues? I curently have lots of issues in my relationship and I think about leaving my husband occasionally, but I know if we didn't have children together and if I felt like he didn't try very hard to have a child with me, I would have felt so much emptiness and resentment that I'd have left the relationship. If it's a financial issue, I think you guys should be trying. I think you would regret it if you didn't. If it's relationship issues, I don't know. But, I do know that even if my husband and I split, I'd never regret everything I went through to have my kids.

I deliberated on kids for a while with my SO and initially I was very jealous that he had a connection I would never fully understand with another woman at that.

I think if you want a baby between the two of you then go for it.

It will give you a deeper bond with SO, it would give you a better understanding of how to parent your SKs.

You'll be happier all around when you feel fully connected to your SO.

The empty feeling of not having that bond will not go away if it's something you truly desire.

I'm so glad we had out own baby, because it makes me a more rounded out and fulfilled person to be a mother to a biological child. I can be more understanding of SO when it comes to his kids.

Plus, 2 out of 3 of my stepkids hate me, so I don't mind trying to raise a baby that's going to love me and be a decent  human being.