YSD Got Tattoo and Nose Ring. Looking Grosser Every Time I See Her.
Haven't been on in a while...super busy at work and trying to help launch DH's business.
DH and I going on vacation next week. Hopefully I can actually relax and de-stress.
Good news = We just sent the very last ever CS payment. WOOT! Next month...my money will finally belong to me, again (and, yes...unfortunately I do mean MY money...)
Also. YSD is still the worst. She came over for Father's Day and was fine...I just don't like anything about her. She is super annoying. I hate the way she talks. I hate the way she dresses. And she got a small tattoo and a nosering the second she turned 18 (or, within 3 weeks). It looks so awful on her and so trashy. She's also redone her hair again...gotten a new cut and color for the 3rd time in the past 2 months...
But was asking DH about help with some repairs and an oil change for her car. Um. No. Absolutely not. If you choose to get a tattoo rather than care for your car...that's on you.
Anyway. That's all that's going on here. I really think that if DH's business doesn't start working by the end of the summer...and if he still refuses to try something else...I will be leaving. I can't continue to work my hiney off and never get ahead because of his spending habits and his kids...
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theoldrenhen hit it...
theoldrenhen hit it...
BUT I have a question about the car repairs. Was your SD going to pay for them and just wanted help doing them? Or was she expecting your DH to pay for them? Because if she's going to start learning how to do her own repairs that might actually benefit you in the long-run... Annoying now, but potentially that could save her cash and therefore keep her from running to your DH demanding money! (particularly if your DH says no to funding it... lol)
I do my own car repairs and it's saved me LOADS. I only pay for parts and I am the labor. LOL
lol.
lol.
No...I wish she was that resourceful. No. When I say 'asking for help' with car repairs, I mean she wants us to take the car to our mechanic and pay for brake stuff ($200-ish) and oil change ($25-30-ish). That's why I'm saying no way. If you have money for a tattoo and money to redo your hair 3 times in 2 months, then you have money for basic, inexpensive car maintenance.
Oh...and PS.
Oh...and PS.
We had an issue with our car door panels on both side. Apparently a design flaw...makes the armrests cave in, which is annoying. Got a quote from the body shop that was like...$100 to $150 per door.
We looked up a YouTube video and fixed it ourself for the cost of some epoxy and gloves..about $16.
Of course she's not... I was
Of course she's not... I was so hopeful for you... lol
Also exactly Oil changes can even run much higher! I can do it in about 10 minutes and with $20. lol
YouTube is absolutely magical! They really get you on labor costs... So anything I can do on my own, I do it!
My DH had a spending problem
My DH had a spending problem that has mostly improved (he still gives me those WTF moments from time to time). His financial contributions to our household and future were also lacking for many years. But after 13 years together, I've learned that money problems are temporary as long as everyone has a decent education and work ethic.
You have decided to give the business some time, but have you told him what you expect if it isn't successful? I know Steplife causes us enough anxiety that adding the stress of running your own business is scary. We almost went into business for ourselves about two years ago and I had SO many reservations. We were neck deep in skid drama at the time and I had a newborn. The prospect of having our financial health dependent on our own business was too stressful for me. I'm so relieved the sale fell apart.
Tell him what you expect of him if the business fails. Hopefully, his reaction will alleviate the anxiety you're feeling and you two can develop a Plan B.
I do think this is the issue
I do think this is the issue - it's like every stressful thing imaginable is on my plate.
Like...if DH had kids but I did too and we were trying to build a business. Or if DH didn't have kids either and we were trying to build a business. Or if DH had kids and I don't, but he had a steady job that fully paid for those kids...any combination that took one stressor away would mean so much to my mental health, I think. Or even if we were building a business in a less risky, tenuous industry.
But no.
I'm a childless stepmom, married to a man with three kids who isn't bringing in any income and is spending a lot on a very risky business venture. This situation is tailor-made to breed resentment.
Chef's Business
got off to a sloooow start 2 yrs ago. I was SO PISSED because he had NO customer base and decided to quit his job even though he was on the hook for 8 more yrs of CS.
Now he is turning down work he is so busy. Yes, its a lot more work for him and me with bookkeeping but Chef is happier now and I like round about writing off his CS via 1099ing him!
Also I made sure he works at least one day a week at a "regular" job that CSEU can pull at least some CS from.
Oh man.
Oh man.
If only. DH has been at this "business" for nearly 8 years now with only scattered success. It's not like a regular business...it's a long product development, getting investors...etc. But the potential payoff is huge, and it does make him happy.
Like Chef - he had 8 years of CS obligation left when he quit his job to pursue this path. He has done freelance work along the way and covered that obligation at first...but as the business got more and more intense, he started doing less and less freelance work on the side. I guess I should be glad that the freelance work died off when he had fewer kids left on CS? I've definitely picked up the slack a lot in the last 3 years.
Overall...I still feel grateful. We do live in a paid-for house that was in his family (we bought if for less than it's worth from his parents for cash right when he quit his job...so we'd know that we had housing security while on this risky path). DH works hard, we're mostly happy...I'm just so tired of the stress and trying not to feel resentment.