Non Custodial Parent Asking for Vacation Pictures
Hi new here. just a quick question. We have physical/legal custoday of my 9 year old step daughter. We recently went on vacation and the mother is requesting pictures of our family vacation. I just dont see the need to send her pictures of our vacation. She never takes my step daughter anymore or does anything with her. How do i nicely telling her on the court website that I will not be providing photos. Or am I taking it overboard not sending her pictures. Keep in mind since our vacation my step daughter has seen her mom has talked to her multiple times over the phone although she wants our memories with my daughter
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Nope. The end.
Nope.
The end.
Do you have just one or 2
Do you have one or 2 pictures of just SD? Maybe a smile on the beach or something?
I have a friendly relationship with my ex and his wife. We send pictures of "just the kids" to eachother. SM even had family pictures done and she sent me the pictures of the kids by themselves. No family pictures or anything... I don't think it is that big of a deal personally. But if you are super uncomfortable, just say that you are sorry but feel that it is intruding of private family time.
No to photos of your vacation
No to photos of your vacation. You can send her a photo of her daughter. Period.Dot.
Do you have pictures of just
Do you have pictures of just the SD? If so, I'd provide a few of those. Whether she takes the SD or has much of a relationship with her or not, it's still her daughter, so it seems like the decent thing to do. I would not feel the need to send pictures that included the rest of the family or lots of details about your vacation, but I don't see the harm in providing a couple pictures of just the girl if you have them. Of course, there may be details about this BM that we don't know that would change my mind, but with the info given, I'd try to be somewhat accommodating.
why does she have to give a
why does she have to give a picture to BM? BM wants a picture so badly, she can take one herself, right?
My kids traveled all over the world with Asshat and Money-Ka.
NEVER occured to me to ask for a photo. Why would I?
She doesn't have to. I just
She doesn't have to. I just think it's a decent thing to do.
I would send a couple pictures of kiddo
Iamwoman is right that denying pictures can be seen as alienating, which as a CP you don't want to have happen. It's not about the vacation, but about seeing the kiddo. And it's a small thing to do to keep mischief managed.
BM saw SD before leaving
BM saw SD before leaving spoke to her and has seen her multiple times since being back.
totally disagree - not giving
totally disagree - not giving someone a photograph is in no way alienating.
This BM did see her kid, she did talk to her kid, and demanding photos from a trip she wasn't on is just stupid and manipulative.
Get a frame that says FAMILY
Get a frame that says FAMILY on it, put a group shot in the frame from said vacation and send it back with SD. Beat BM at her own game. SD can keep it in her room. She will never ask again, and if she does, repeat it each time.
My bet is she wants to post them on FB to enhance her image with her friends.
SD lives with us but GOOD
SD lives with us but GOOD IDEA! and yes exactly its just to enhance her image*ROFL*
YES!
Do this! Lol. Mail it to her. It's Win-win: You gave her a pic from the trip, and she can't post it on social media. Plus she will be annoyed. lol.
You don't have too but I
You don't have too but I understand the mother's request for the pictures. If you're up to it then maybe send one or two of the kid by themselves. If you don't then just politely tell her that you are not comfortable sharing them at this time.
Oh, I'd send a photo. One
Oh, I'd send a photo. One with me and SD in it. Preferably smiling like there is no tomorrow!
I guess I'm in the minority
I guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't see it as a big deal to just send a photo or two of SD to BM. When my BS was little and he'd go on a trip with me, he always wanted to share a photo or two with his dad. "This is me with the fish I caught" or "This is me with the sand castle I made." He just wanted to share pieces of his life with his other parent. And vice versa. His dad took him horseback riding for the first time. I enjoyed seeing BS riding, since I wasn't there in person. And his dad and Ireally didn't get along.
Now, if BM is asking for photos of where you're staying or whatnot, that's really not necessary. A photo of SD on the beach or whatever? No biggie.
I would send it just because
I would send it just because I am of the philosophy that if it won't hurt anything then why say "no". Keep in mind that she could just want the photo to post to her social media as if she is still seeing her so if that bothers you then don't do it. I would send one or two of the kid in action like playing on the beach or eating an ice cream cone or something. Steer away from smiling pictures if your BM is the type to get jealous easily. It might fuel her fire to come back and compete for the "fun" parent award.
alienation? What???
How is it alienation? If SD already saw BM after said vacation, why couldn’t BM take a picture of SD? Why is she asking for other pictures instead of taking her own?
Saying that ex and I used to exchange pics (and still do at times and DD is 30), but I don’t believe we were obligated to do so as we could alwats take pics ourselves!
BM wants pics of SD zip zip
BM wants pics of SD zip lining, horse back riding the fun things we did.
If she wants pictures
of SD doing all those things - she can take her! You are under no obligation to send a picture and not doing so is not any kind of parental alienation. That being said, I would send a picture that does not have too much detail as to where exactly you were and what you were doing. I would also be very tempted to do as was suggested above - send a picture that has you and DH in it too!
Find a cute picture of SD,
Find a cute picture of SD, crop out everything but her face, send that picture of Sd's face to Bm. BM has a picture of SD on vacation - but no details of your vacation. Heck - send her 2-3 pictures of SD's face.
Update: of course DH gives in
Update: of course DH gives in and tells me to send the pictures not even 2 second later she posted them on FB smh. all for likes
You gave in to him?
You gave in to him?
Myself and DH have custody of
Myself and DH have custody of my SD. And she asked again for the pictures. He gave in and said send them to her. As she is having this conversation on the court odered website. He just doesnt want to argue with her
You have a bigger issue than
You have a bigger issue than BM asking for pictures. You have a husband who doesn't protect YOUR privacy or your families privacy. We went around and around on this in my house too. He lacks the skills and vocabulary to deal with her effectively that puts your marriage first. Until he can learn to do this, you will come here complaining about BM violating your life. And you will get the same response as above.