Is it normal for SD to act like DH's girlfriend?
Some quick background, my DH and I have been together for 9+ years but my SD14 has been living with us for nearly 2 years. She came to live with us because she was in serious trouble. Ever since she arrived, she has been behaving like DH's girlfriend, not like a daughter and it always feels like she is in competition with me. For example, the other day DH and I were talking about seeing a DR for a minor health issue which he was asking for my opinion when SD chimed in with her opinion and told him how she thinks he should handle it. When we go out anywhere as a family, she routinely steps in front of me cutting me off making me stop short or even goes so far as to bump me with her shoulder to get in front of me to get right next to DH. She's constantly making snarky comments about how I look, etc etc. If DH and I are disagreeing at the moment, she sees the opportunity to kiss his butt and talk badly about me and make it a tag team event against me. No matter what is going on, if it involves DH she sees it as an opportunity to try to put me down and cast me in a negative light to DH. Is this normal? I find it creepy and weird and am so sick of it!
It isn't normal that your dh
It isn't normal that your dh isn't correcting it.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
I feel it's a case where she
I feel it's a case where she feels she's 'losing' her father to another woman. She's also 14 and that'll explain the bitchy comments about how you look. You need to express to DH that he has to cut this behaviour out NOW. If he doesn't teach her to be polite, she;s gonna grow up to be a petty, manipulative person. She has to learn to channel her aggression to areas where aggression is constructive and the beauty of your situation, Lost LA, is that she's young enough to be moulded.
IF your husband is wary of doing this, you need to tell him that the next time she makes a snarky comment of move, you WILL correct her; that you will treat her like she is your own daughter and that means one thing: tough love.
Also, she needs to never be in the same room or able to hear you and DH when you're having a disagreement. ALways show a united front. If your DH can't do this, you need to stop arguing with him in her presence and take up the matter later on. I do find it a little alarming that DH will allow SD to "tag team" against you.
I hope this helps! TO be honest, I'm not a mother myself and my DH has two daughters who are both older than me, so whatever I'm saying to you is how my parents reacted to me being a snotty little teenager!!
This is a typical child who
This is a typical child who feels like she is an adult and an equal in your household. Whatever happened to the philosophy that a child should be seen and not heard. ha! My SD10 use to think she could join in on every conversation. I put an end to that when I told her this was an A and B conversation and she should C her way out of it!!!!!!
I agree. The sad part is that
I agree. The sad part is that children who are raised like this (coddled, spoiled and viewed as equals or above adults when it comes to decison making, pecking order etc when they are kids) usually have problems when they grow up and actually become adults themselves. Many of them fail to launch or end up having other problems (drugs, behavorial issues mainly). Their parents arent doing them any favors.
I have 2 SD's...15 and 12.
I have 2 SD's...15 and 12. SD15 totally thinks she is DH's wife. She does all the things you're talking about. The whole tripping me when we're walking through the mall because, even though I am walking beside DH holding his hand, she walks right in front of me and backs her fat ass into me to move me out of the way so SHE can walk beside DH. She's a whack job, just like her crazy mother. She lies down and drapes her legs over DH when they're sitting on the couch together and will never let me sit beside my own husband. It's a jealousy thing. She is acting possessive because she feels threatened. It's pathetic really, but whatever. We are taking her crazy ass to therapy starting this week, so she will get what's coming to her. Her 2 year old baby talk, insecurity issues and acting like an asshole will stop. I can't wait!
SD12 is very secure in herself and a mature, strong girl. She is awesome. I don't know what happened to SD15. I guess she got all of her genes from her mom's side of the family...and they are all certifiably crazy! BM was even diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, but refuses to get therapy for all of her issues.
Love
Stepdaughter acts like DH girlfriend
I am so glad I found this site! I have been married to DH for almost 7 years. He has two daughters (17, 14) and I have two kids (son 13, daughter 16). SD acts constantly like his girlfriend. Even down to laughing at his jokes always agreeing with comments he makes (like watching tv), asking him questions as if she's interested, sitting next to him, on trips always eating what he does etc. I am do tired of it and when I tell DH he disagrees and says I'm his wife not her etc. HELP!
It is not normal nor healthy
It is not normal nor healthy but common espcially when bio parents have coddled/spoiled their opposite sex child and have put him or her on an equal level, or above adults when it comes to making decisions, their pecking order, etc. Ive also seen where step sons act like their moms boyfriends and he is like her mini husband. Weird and unhealthy.