Whaaaaat??? That means your spouse is horribly irresponsible, needs to go on a financial diet, AND needs credit counseling (and those credit cards need to be locked up).

BILLS COME FIRST. Anyone who doesn't follow that is a freaking IDIOT.

Are you accounts separate? If not, they need to be. I would stipulate that the credit card needs to go away and spending needs to be bills first, BS last. If not, BUH-BYE.

SMDH

Vacation without paying bills... makes me think of my SIL and BIL... They went on a week long vacation... Are $900 behind in daycare, debt to boot, can't afford their bills, bought an expensive car (cuz why not? Who approves these loans???)

It's all a huge mess, I suggest you keep finances seperate and you can help him think of plans to get it straightened out, but don't marry him or live with him until he's shown he's figured out responsibility.

Dealing with debt is hard enough, you don't need to be picking up bills because he's irresponsible to top that off.

What was your plan for dealing with his debt when you married him? Did you discuss finances and agree how to handle them and he's now reneging on the agreement? Are his utilities YOUR utilities? Did he take the vacation without you?

Or are you talking about his ex?

If you're talking about your boyfriend, it's easy.  Don't let him become a spouse.  That level of financial irresponsibility is not something you want to hitch your wagon to.

My SO isn't a shining example of financial acumen, either.  He has a big car loan, modest credit card debt and a mortgage he can't afford.  He basically ended up with all the debt in his divorce.  His car is under water, but fortunately he's selling the house.  He also has lousy credit because he couldn't always pay his bills on time.  If I marry him, I'm keeping my money separate.  I don't make a lot, but I do have a small amount of savings, an IRA, and no debt other than a mortgage that I can afford.  He's not so much in debt that he will drag me down, and he doesn't pay CS or alimony.  If he was seriously in debt or a good chunk of his income was going to his ex, I doubt I'd be in the relationship.

Is this your husband?????

Caitlyn, why do you keep making these elliptic posts? You've gotten plenty of good advice about your selfish, user boyfriend and I thought you broke up back in March.

This man's financial irresponsibility is not your problem. Do not give him one dime.

Half of the humans on this planet have a penis, and you would be quite a catch if you'd invest in some therapy to help with your low self-esteem. Please stop beating this dead horse.

I wouldn't.