Coming home for good
Today is the day that SS15 soon to be 16 is coming from juvanial detention and a mental health facility. Not only do I have to leave work for 3 hours because they won't release him without meeting with Mom and I, I'm going to miss 3 hours of work. In the past I would have been very supportive but after a trial home visit last weekend not anymore. Not only did she blow money on jeans he will never wear, bought the 5th pair of headphones in a few months he fell right back into the same routine. Eating junk for breakfast ( he had extremely high blood pressure and is border line type 2 diabetic) and junk for dinner but I watch him and his brother as I sat quietly bon the couch. I listened and watched them interact with there mom and they have mastered the art of guilt tripping and manipulation. My oldest two are not looking forward to his return at all. I should clarify that he wears sweat pants all the time. I'm not mad she got him clothes but he wears the same sweat pants day in and day out.
On a funnier note i told ss14 to open the bedroom window a couple inches because your brothers room Fkin stinks. So he opened it up about a foot and the cat that I didn't want in the first place escaped. He of course tried blaming me so I said " SS you just took shop class and know how to read a tape right ? Does that look like a couple inxhes. " Insert puppy dog face and tears uggggg. The wife got home and started to get upset with me and I pointed out that the room stinks and the cat would have not got out if it wasn't for her oldest busting out the screen and her youngest opening the window to much. The saddest part is SS15 has destroyed this room. Holes in walls, hole in door and just stinks. I'm a contractor and could easily fix. NOPE NO THANK YOU. Told her she can hire someone else as long as it don't come out of my check. So at 1130 pm I get work up by SS14 knocking our bedroom door talking loud as hell that the cat is back,look mamma the cat is back, isn't he so cute, I'm so glad he came back. Omfg I was pidsed. I get up at 430 am and I got woke up about a cat. Not to mention why is a 14 year old still up at 1130. My 3 had been in bed since 10pm. Those kind of different standards are why my kids get upset. So now I'm tired and have to work late all because of her lack of parenting. Sometimes I miss drinking lol then I see everything I have accomplished and nope no booze for me lol
It sounds like you are
It sounds like you are disengaged. Keep it going.
My SD was also a frequent flyer in the mental hospitals, so I know the turmoil your home is in. My boys were younger and seeing the crap she pulled has actually made them more mature at 13 and 15 than their peers.
You've got a good head on your shoulders. Do not let them take your sanity or sobriety. One day at a time .
Not much to add but on the
Not much to add but on the bedtime thing .. we have issues at our house too. SS8 is apparently allowed to stay up watching TV all night if he chosed too - he has a tv in his room at home. We have ONE tv in our apartment because we are poor ass ppl! ha. Anywho he calls his mom every night before bed and complains that DH is making him go to bed at 9pm which is when my son goes to bed. Bio Mom screams at DH on the phone about making him go to bed so early. The funny thing is - he goes to sleep in five minutes and sleeps until 8am the next morning. I told DH to just not take the phone from SS when he's done - hang up!
9 is early?? Holy crap, mine
9 is early?? Holy crap, mine are 10 and 12 and 8pm is it! Lights out, TV's off, done. We all are up between 5:30-6am and a strict bedtime is how we survive! BM can't dictate what goes on in your home.
So why do you continue to force your own kids into contact with
this shallow and polluted gene pool?
While I get the sanctity of a marriage... there are things that should be absolute ... even in a marriage. One is that any kids in play will be held to a behavioral standard and no one child will be tolerated to interfere in the experience of another.
An older child has had their chance at being a younger age and should not be allowed to interfere in that opportunity for younger children. Just as younger children will get their chance to be older and should not be allowed to interfere in that phase of an older child's life. Whithin reason of course.
Time to put your foot down... and up the ass of this toxic kid and give your bride clarity that if she doesn't get this kid under control that you will and neither he nor she will likely find it to be a pleasant experience.
Or a much easier path.... move on and give your own kids a break.
Moving on is what seems like
Moving on is what seems like the best option at this point. I didn't even feel this alone digging my own hole to sleep in at FT Benning on our FTX. Awesome news on your kids and there service to our country.