I've asked before, but I'll ask again...  What are you getting out of this marriage?  

He's a terrible parent and a bad spouse.  He's draining you financially and he does nothing to support you emotionally.  I just don't get what you're hanging in there for.

He will never be done paying for the skids....it most definitely will NOT stop when they are 18 either...I love horses..get yourself one.....

He's spending on himself without regard to you or the budget. The skids may not matter because he will always be selfish.

I used to work with horses too... I miss it. I think if you're ready to get back at that, you definitely should. I've already told DH the second we're to a place financially that I can, I plan to. Which made him happy. Only way I'll agree to live more "country" is if I get to work with horses again.

To me it sounds like you and your DH need to come up with a strict budget... So he's not spending ALL your savings on his boat... $1000 doesn't go as far as people think... So unless he's thinking like my SD9 who told me that if she had $1000 she'd buy us a house... He's going to burn through that REALLY fast.

He almost needs an "allowance." Meaning, bills are paid, this much goes to savings, this much goes to household expenses, THEN he has such ans such he can spend on his boat every month.

I know what some others suggested to me was that I get a saving's account that's basiclaly on lockdown... No checks, no cards, have to actually GO to the bank to get it. Maybe he'd be less willing then?

I'm sorry about your situation Tank I hope it starts looking up. FInances are HUGE.

That horse is out there, waiting for you. Do you seriously think your DH will allow it to happen? I wonder. It doesn't sound like it.

In the meantime, consider volunteering with a local 4h or disabled riding program. That way you are doing something independently and just for you. And you can at least be around horses without footing the expense. I am a 4h riding instructor and we always need extra hands to help with shows, etc.

Horses are almost always better company than men lol. 

Oops. Sorry to clutter up your thread but local horse rescues are usually desperate for volunteers and if you have a little experience they will welcome you to volunteer with open arms.

Does your DH need to give his permission to you to get a horse? I only ask this because I had that mindset for years, so been there done that. These men certainly don’t ask our permission before they do what they want for themselves and their kids. You have every right to have hobbies and passions and spend money on them. I even went to the bank eventually and opened my own account. It was secret for a while since my mail goes to a P.O. Box (I caught stepspawn ripping up my mail) but eventually I told idiot and we decided to separate our finances. 

Get that horse! Make yourself happy girl! 

In regards to when they stop giving their kids money, stepspawn is 15 but I don’t ever see it stopping. You wouldn’t stop taking water from a well until it dries up. If it keeps giving you water, well... you’ll keep taking. Stepkids will never stop accepting when ddaaadddeee is handing money out the way a pervert hands candy to kids. 

SO & I are quite similar in our financial habits  (spending, saving, credit, etc) so we're on fairly even ground but we still keep things completely separate outside of the mortgage.

We are also a boat/equine hobby family.  The boat is his toy.  I have an idea on the costs associated and it was budgeted for should I ever need to financially assist.  But if he needs to change fluids or buy a new toy for the giant filter housing or when the prop needs to be done he'll spend the money without discussion.  He came into the relationship with the boating background.  The purchase was a joint decision and we enjoy the hobby together.  The day to day/regular expected costs are his to bear.

Similar story with the horses although they weren't joint purchases, that nonsense is all on me.  I brought all but one into the relationship.  The most recent one was a purchase specifically for him.  That one was a joint decision and we enjoy the hobby together.  The day to day/regular expected costs are mine to bear.

While we both participate, each tends to stick with what we brought in.  That said, neither of us dictates what's appropriate as far as expected ownership costs.  Anything outside of the norm becomes a conversation so we can make a joint decision for the good of the household.  He knows not to replace the decking and I know not to bring home another hay burner (or whatever other 4 legged beast strikes my fancy).  The horses are non-negotiable on my end.  I'm thrilled he participates but if he didn't they'd still be there and I'd still be riding.  The boat is another story I think.  It's not something he'd enjoy without company.

I would say that you seriously look into pursuing horses again.  It's not only acceptable but healthy for you guys to have your own hobbies and separate identities.  Sounds like the horse habit will be yours alone so make your decisions knowing that you're not likely to have support (financial or otherwise) outside of what you're willing and able to put into it.  Reintroduce yourself slowly, volunteer for the barn time, get into lessons for the ride time, see what changes happen within the household with your new schedule, freedom and the financial implications before jumping (back) into ownership.

That's not to say don't do it if anyone has an issue with it - just take slow deliberate steps so you can make the situation work for you.