Weeks ago I asked SO if Grandma would look after the SD’s for a weekend. He said he would ask and stated her reply was no. Now I’m actually even doubting that he even asked her. His latest reply was “why should they miss out?” My reply was “why should I miss out?” He’s taken them away every school holidays to the beach or interstate whilst I just sit at home and work. When I get days off, I rarely spend time with him without the SD’s.
So off he goes on the weekend of fun with 2 of the SD’s whilst one stays home with me due to a prior appointment. He comes home and instead of making a point of spending some time with me, he continues to let them bounce around the place, not letting me have some quiet time with him. I walked out (I have my own home - thank goodness) telling him I wanted 5 minutes of peace and quiet without them around. He just shrugged it off and called me grumpy and went about doing whatever.
This weekend was actually our two year anniversary.
I work in a highly stressful, traumatic job and hate coming home from work some days to be faced with SD’s. I’d rather deal with the stresses of the workplace. My anxiety levels are through the roof on the drive home. I feel I just cannot cope with the whole relationship anymore. I’m trying to disengage myself by spending more time alone on my own. But this isn’t a relationship that’s fulfilling anymore.
I just feel like I’m wasting my time (and this issue is only just touching the surface of the issues).
If it isn't fulfilling and you feel like you're wasting time, why would you want to stay?
You have told your SO what you need, and he has disregarded it. You have taken action to show him what you need, and he shrugs it off. That level of disrespect will kill a relationship at some point unless the person on the receiving end is fine with being treated like a second class citizen. It doesn't sound like you are okay with that.
So, yes, leave. Find someone who wants to be with you and will move heaven and earth to make you feel loved and appreciated. You don't have to settle for this man and this life. He wasn't put on this planet just for you, or you for him. Go find a better match.
You aren't married to this man. You do not have kids with him. You have you own home. You are not happy in the relationship, so why stay?
You can't force him to change. Clearly he doesn't care how his actions impact you. Remaining in a miserable relationship with a man who doesn't care about you is ridiculous.
If you ever glanced in your closet and saw a hideous dress and wondered what possessed you to buy it, what do you do? You toss it.
If you aren't happier with him than without, that's one thing. Maybe you just hang on to see if it improves. But when the relationship stops working and actually makes you UNHAPPY, causes you more work and more stress, it would be crazy not to move on.
When you aren't married, you have the luxury of leaving. Use it! Imagine yourself finding the perfect match after you leave this guy. Imagine how happy you look (Wow! There you both are in Jamaica, in cheek-to-cheek selfies with little beach umbrellas floating in your matching mai tais! Look at those smiles!) Now imagine yourself wondering WHY you didn't leave your current dud sooner to find that happiness.
You have your own home. Use it. If you are interested in preserving this relationship I suggest that you put a security system/web cams in the house you share with your SO so you can tell when his kids are there and if the Skids are there when you get off of work.... go to your home, text him, tell him that you will be at your home while he spends time with his kids. Lather, rinse, repeat... and no.. .he does not go out and have fun with one of his kids without taking them all. Don't let him saddle you with his child care requirements.
Just moving on is likely less complicated of course.
Weeks ago I asked SO if
Weeks ago I asked SO if Grandma would look after the SD’s for a weekend. He said he would ask and stated her reply was no. Now I’m actually even doubting that he even asked her. His latest reply was “why should they miss out?” My reply was “why should I miss out?” He’s taken them away every school holidays to the beach or interstate whilst I just sit at home and work. When I get days off, I rarely spend time with him without the SD’s.
So off he goes on the weekend of fun with 2 of the SD’s whilst one stays home with me due to a prior appointment. He comes home and instead of making a point of spending some time with me, he continues to let them bounce around the place, not letting me have some quiet time with him. I walked out (I have my own home - thank goodness) telling him I wanted 5 minutes of peace and quiet without them around. He just shrugged it off and called me grumpy and went about doing whatever.
This weekend was actually our two year anniversary.
I work in a highly stressful, traumatic job and hate coming home from work some days to be faced with SD’s. I’d rather deal with the stresses of the workplace. My anxiety levels are through the roof on the drive home. I feel I just cannot cope with the whole relationship anymore. I’m trying to disengage myself by spending more time alone on my own. But this isn’t a relationship that’s fulfilling anymore.
I just feel like I’m wasting my time (and this issue is only just touching the surface of the issues).
Is it time to run???
If it isn't fulfilling and
If it isn't fulfilling and you feel like you're wasting time, why would you want to stay?
You have told your SO what you need, and he has disregarded it. You have taken action to show him what you need, and he shrugs it off. That level of disrespect will kill a relationship at some point unless the person on the receiving end is fine with being treated like a second class citizen. It doesn't sound like you are okay with that.
So, yes, leave. Find someone who wants to be with you and will move heaven and earth to make you feel loved and appreciated. You don't have to settle for this man and this life. He wasn't put on this planet just for you, or you for him. Go find a better match.
You aren't married to this
You aren't married to this man. You do not have kids with him. You have you own home. You are not happy in the relationship, so why stay?
You can't force him to change. Clearly he doesn't care how his actions impact you. Remaining in a miserable relationship with a man who doesn't care about you is ridiculous.
Your mai tai is melting!
If you ever glanced in your closet and saw a hideous dress and wondered what possessed you to buy it, what do you do? You toss it.
If you aren't happier with him than without, that's one thing. Maybe you just hang on to see if it improves. But when the relationship stops working and actually makes you UNHAPPY, causes you more work and more stress, it would be crazy not to move on.
When you aren't married, you have the luxury of leaving. Use it! Imagine yourself finding the perfect match after you leave this guy. Imagine how happy you look (Wow! There you both are in Jamaica, in cheek-to-cheek selfies with little beach umbrellas floating in your matching mai tais! Look at those smiles!) Now imagine yourself wondering WHY you didn't leave your current dud sooner to find that happiness.
Life is short! Seek happiness!
You’ve answered all your own
You’ve answered all your own questions. You know the answer is to leave.
So go ahead and leave. Don’t allow him to make you feel guilty for wanting peace and happiness in your life.
If it isn't fulfilling... move on.
You have your own home. Use it. If you are interested in preserving this relationship I suggest that you put a security system/web cams in the house you share with your SO so you can tell when his kids are there and if the Skids are there when you get off of work.... go to your home, text him, tell him that you will be at your home while he spends time with his kids. Lather, rinse, repeat... and no.. .he does not go out and have fun with one of his kids without taking them all. Don't let him saddle you with his child care requirements.
Just moving on is likely less complicated of course.
Good luck. Take care of you.