I don't blame you for being mad.  There are boundaries and these BMs just think they can walk all over them.  Sounds like it would just go to waste at BMs house so she is trying to pawn it off on you...and possibly control what you feed SS at your home?! 

If BM did that here I would have had DH tell her not to send food again as it's a health risk.

* why on earth is she doing this anyway??? weird.

Woops, I am an offending SM on the other side of this, Aniki.

Usually on kid weekends, I make enough for leftovers, grandparents, second helpings, etc. Sometimes I have WAAAAYYYYY too much leftover and ask the boys if they want to take some back to BM's. It's never meant as an insult; it's simply a "I have too much and the kids eat it, so they might as well take it."

I have also sent whole bags of produce with them if I hit a BOGO at the store. I usually offer it to my parents first, but if they say no, I don't want it to go to waste. So off it goes to BM's if I know it's something the kids will eat.

Ok girl... I love you, I really do... BUT  I think you went way overboard.  Who cares if BM sent food?  It was for Boy Bun right?  Nobody said y'all had to eat it right?  I remember one time when DH and I were first dating, we went to pick SS up and when DH called to tell BM2 we were there, she asked if we wanted some pistachios, because she got a huge bag for really cheap.  At first I was like huh?  Are they poisoned?  Why is she being so nice?  But then I was like... ok whatever.. I guess it IS a nice gesture and we took some. 

Maybe the difference is she asked first, but also like Lieutenant dad said, there were many times when skids were younger that they would want to make brownies or cookies or something and I would send the leftovers home with them, because I didn't want them sitting in my house for a week for ME to eat.  lol 

I think because i'm British I find this very strange. We don't do that sort of thing and we don't tend to make too much food as food is much more expensive in Europe. It's a different take on it for me.

Honestly, crap BM made would gross me out, I would feel like it would contaminate my whole kitchen (I know, overboard). 

Anyways, even with leftover lunch stuff, if no one empties and washes the containers and it sits on my counter for more than 24 hours I pitch it. I even found a spoon of hers in my cutlery drawer after the skids left, that also made its way to the garbage. I can't be bothered to wash her grossness and make sure it's returned....  no one else seems to care either. 

Having said that, I may have fed it to the skid, thinking sweet at least their not eating my food. 

I always looked forward to your blogs. This one is priceless. Your BM is just a nut job. Sending food that you think looks just like barf. OMG I just can't stop laughing.

It's to bad on the way to your home she didn't pick up a pizza for all of you. But that would be normal and that is not your BM's style is it.

I don't know if you have dogs, but I'd have boiled the chicken for mine and let skid eat Ho's leftovers if he wanted. I am totally against wasting food but I understand why you did. But what kind of message did this send to your SS?

I get it.  I wouldn't eat a bag of food if my own mother brought it.  Not because it was sabotaged, but because there would be no guarantee what was in that casserole - i.e. very odd ingredient mix that likely doesn't taste quite right, how old it was, and with the chicken, if it was stored at a safe temperature.  Sad to say, knowing BM, you did the right thing.  And it's obvious she'd risk the kid's health if she sent brownies over for EVERYONE to eat....

 Brownies mixed with exlax,  i need that recipe for a few special snowflakes. *diablo*

Aniki I would have done the same,  I'd chuck the upchuck looking casserole and chicken , pronto!!

Last summer, BM gave us parfaits and donuts she bought when we picked up the girls and were flying out of town.  They were spending the night cause the flight was super early and she wanted to be "nice" and get us breakfast.  NOPE.  I refused to eat any of it cause I don't trust her.  It was so early that I don't think the girls wanted it anyway so in the trash it went. 

I would have been out for blood Aniki. 

Bless her heart.

I'm sitting here laughing at the image of you stomping out doing the snow walk to the trash bin. LOL. 

Sent you leftover barf casserole and uncooked raw chicken quarters 

I don't blame you for 'wasting foods' . Seriously,who sends chicken unsolicited and without asking to somebody else's home? And barf casserole? If she didn't want the chicken 'wasted' she could have popped the extra package into her freezer. And the casserole? If her own family wouldn't eat her leftovers why would she think your household would?

Yes, on holidays when we've had tons of food , I send home a bag with departing guest after I ask if they would like to take home something and what that something would be.  I've made plates up for elderly relatives to warm up for lunch the next day . I made a huge pot of vegetable beef soup and then called and asked YDS if he'd like me to bring a container over. If yes, great, if not, no biggie I just bag it into the freezer for a quick lazy night meal another time. He actually asks when I'm making soup next and not to forget to think of him if I happen to be do so. 

I have an elderly neighbor guy who does a huge garden with his grown children in his back every summer. He'll come by and ask if I could use some of this or that. Lol, I think he enjoys the jars of pickles I do up for him and zucchini bread.

But no, I can not imagine if my DH's ex (he doesn't have one, thank goodness) started sending bags of her leftover dinner and chicken quarters , non-requested and unwanted to my door. If the kid would have entered the home with one made-up plate of cooked food he intended to sit right down at your table and eat for his lunch, fine. I wouldn't deprive the kid from a meal he enjoyed and either didn't have time to eat before he left BM's or that he wanted to warm up later instead of having (in your case) his Dad make or go out and buy for dinner later.... anything else, nope. 

Voldemort sent cookies home with Killjoy once.  Like it was the most normal thing in the world.  You know, because Voldemort is Martha Farking Stuart.  Maybe sometime I'll go into who and what our Voldemort is.  Suffice it to say I hold her responsilbe for killing two people, literally.

Killjoy offered DH and I a cookie.  Like it was the most normal thing in the world.  I had to force my response to be mild.  I wanted to say, "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCK!NG MIND?!???"  These cookies lasted a couple of days, on my kitchen counter, like radioactive toxic waste.  It was all I could do at the time not to pitch them.  If it happened again today, I would.  I don't make sacrifices anymore, no one is spared from my reactions anymore.

Now that i'm disengaged, I'm more my authetic self.  Today I wouldn't be in the room when Killjoy offered a share of Voldemort's treat.  And if I was, I would have said what I was thinking.  And today if I found out Voldemort's treats were in my house, they'd be banned immediately.  Ahhhhh, the liberation of disengagement.

I laughed at the way you wrote your blog but I would see red too. . .

Aniki, send some laxative cookies back to her house as a thank you gesture

Not worth the risk. You don’t know how long that chicken was on the counter before she gave it to you. 

Her part brownies taught you not to trust her. Nope. I would not of risked giving it away either.