Yes, lesson learned the hard way. By the same token, they should have no problem being excluded from future "family" things.

You DH was dead wrong to even step into that pictue without you. He should have just grabbed your hand and pulled you into the picture and said "We'd LOVE to have our picture taken with the grandkids." Another scared little man afraid to stand up to his kids. I'm sorry from your hurt. It was rude all the way around.

i see this a bit differently, i wouldn't invite them to big expensive dinners, i would advise them that you are having one, when & where. and when they do come expecting a free ride, ask the waiter for separate checks made for them.

as far as the photo, been on that rude ride. fuck it, you don't want to be in their album anyway. and any copies sent to you, i mean dh ~ TRASH THEM! there is not one single pic of skids displayed in my home and i don't foresee any grandskid pics either

Your husband should have said "my wife is family too" he is like my husband and doesn't want to rock the boat...someone might get upset, but it doesn't matter if it's thier wives who get upset..men are cowards...my husbands thinks I am too sesitive also..it's crap..you were hurt, you should be very upset.

Pretty rude.The lack of offering to contribute and the pics.I'd not buy them another either.I agree with what twopines said too.They probably see it as your DH bought the dinner and not a thought to your contribution.Typical and yes life is too short to keep trying to be nice to and do things for people who won't return the effort.

My hubby said I was being too sensitive..I know the feeling.

I think I would have questioned why SHE was in the photo if it was "family". Apparently MARRIAGE doesn't make you family in her eyes.

yeap, seperate checks or just say we paid last time you pay this time to them.

God I wouldn't even eat with them again. :sick:

My husband's children have never offered to contribute to meals except that SS will do the dishes. SD is total princess. I'll never forget how upset I was at SD's wedding. I was not yet married, but we planned to marry the following year, and did. They did not include me in any of the wedding pictures. The BM and former SM yelled at my husband to join them. Everyone excluded me. So rude. I should have known then!

Question for the flip side that comes up often on here:

Is it wrong for SM to NOT be in the "family" picture?
If so, is it wrong for skids to be in SM's "family" pictures?

People on here say ALL.THE.TIME that skids do not need to be in family photos. It seems interesting that the SM should be included, though. It isn't a one way street.

BTW, my personal feeling is that family photos should include all of the family. I have included skids in mine. I feel it would be hypocritical to say "no skids" in MY pics, but then get butthurt if I'm not invited to be in theirs.

See thing was, this was not just a deliberate exclusion of some members of a family. It was really tasteless and trashy behaviour to single out any particular subgroup for special little exclusive photo-session on their own. It was rude to everyone else, not just you. I recently went to a gathering of a colleague who invited a group of girlfriends out for her 40th in a big restaurant. There was food, dancing etc. Then people got out their cells to take photos to remember the occasion. Different groups of women gathered around the birthday girl to celebrate, people who were friends, people who had only just met... there was every combination, cuddling and grinning. Then these pics were circulated in the following days. This is how photos are typically taken at big meals and parties out. For someone to take aside a little family group and use the occasion for their own selfish purposes, is just... plain... rude and cheap. :sick:
I guess if you go out with these people again and anything like this threatens to be re-enacted, you or preferably DH jumps up with a big camera and starts taking huge group photos of everyone, even positioning them in different groups, bustling around in the role as host. That way you could deflate their crap and reduce them to the scuttling little insects they would seem to want to be.

Mindy, I'm the opposite...I get asked to be in family pics, and I decline. They're not my family. Their DH's family.

I agree that DH should have grabbed your hand and pulled you into the picture. Next dinner with SDs, when the bill is presented say, "Did you pay last time or did we? Oh yes, we did so I guess it's your turn."

If you've never been in their picture theres a good chance you wont be unless something is said,, im glad you stood up for yourself.. Something similar happened to me on "our first Christmas",, I had to say something too so I wouldnt feel like an outsider.. The kicker is I dont think most people do it on purpose,, its just old habits and traditions existed long before we did..

Gee, I don't even care if I am in the wedding/family photos, but the skids keep having me in them. Go figure.

I think your hubby should have said, sure "WE ALL" or "BOTH OF US" would love to be in pictures with the the grandkids.

You blew it on that one hubby! Try again.

Holy Shit this is like dejavu all over again for me!

Like the time Me DH, Stepson, StepDaughter, and my two biokids were at a super bowl party, that happened to coincide with Stepdaughter’s birthday. My younger kid was about 7 years old… the step-son says to his Uncle, “can you take a picture of the family?” and the three of them gather together, my kid (mind you she was 7 years old at the time) ran over to be in the ‘family’ picture and the asshole had the stones to say “sorry, J, I just want MY family in this picture”

Didn’t care that DH apologized, the asshole son didn’t!

And don’t get me started on the “big dinner” thing… the same leech job step son of mine has NEVER reached into his pocket for a big dinner out!

Last year, we had eight of us out to dinner on vacation… my step-daughter, handed my husband a hundred bucks and, then my step-son actually had the nerve to get MAD because she chipped in for dinner! Because she was “making him look bad” (no honey, she’s got nothing to do with that, you did that all on your own)
He conveniently left his wallet back at the house… (ha, not so convenient, because they wouldn’t let him order any booze without his ID! Hahah)

I know just how you feel! I do agree that the father should say something because not saying something shows acceptance to the action. Have you addressed it with her? I did with mine and nothing has changed. She did take two pictures of me with the grandbaby and her father but I believe that was to make her look like she is this innocent person. BS!!!!!

Same thing happened to me. Exclided form family photos at SD wedding and later from seeing MIL before she died. Led to a very near divorce. Told husband he had a dysfunctional emeshed codependent enabled relationship with his daughter who he treats like a mini wife. Didn't go down too well. However he acknowledged what I've said and is aware he can continue his relationship with her but I don't want anything to do with it, she can come to our home when I'm not there but I'm not making myself leave because she wants to visit. F that! It's now the subject that is avoided on the whole and that suits me! 

6 years together and not a single one!  I wasn't even allowed to watch her wedding photos being taken, I was told I needed to wait inside and out of the way.  Was so embarrassing too because DH's best friend and wife came over and said you need to get outside they are taking the photos.  I told them I wasn't wanted in them and they were like of course you are, go out there..... I was like no really they told me to stay away.  Their jaws dropped to the ground because DH hides to people the way his daughter is.

She poses mummy and daddy together for every photo for everything like they are together even though they got divorced 25 years ago when she was a baby still!  

At this point I have just given up because it seems both her parents are content in feeding her delusions and letting her have her photo book of them as if they are together.

If she wants a fake family photo book then go for it.  Good luck explaining that to your child when they get old enough to question it.

it's downright mean. Your DH shgould have said something or, when arrangements were being made for the pictures, he should have ushered you over.  I'm sorry but it speaks volumes that he didn't insist you were in the pics. What is with these DHs??

at exDaughterWife's birthday dinner at a japanese steakhouse, she ignored me the entire time, her nasty friend kep pulling her low cut shirt down to show her bo*bs, exNarcDH ignored her, it was during the time when it was 'cool to seduce your friends fathers.' Ugh! After the dinner, DaughterWife asked a patron to snap photos of them, leaving me to stand there on my crutches. I got it, ok I'm getting myself out the door, walked right in front of them to exit the restaurant, out to the truck in the parking lot. He comes outside with her, saying their long goodbyes, gross, then he fusses at me 'get over here and wish DaughterWife happy birthday and say good bye!' I yelled back, 'F you, I'm on cruches and it's raining, I don't have a f*ing thing to say to her, I already told her happy birthday,now unlock the truck!' Crutches on rain/water do not go well together.

Also happened on her birthday at her high school (ex) boyfriends parents house, she turned 20. She didn't have girls as friends. She was still very chummy with ex bf even when she dated other guys, none stuck around her for more than a night or two. Her mom was there with her new husband (the affair partner) and all included in group photos, even ex bf aunts and uncles she never met before. Just not me, I was shoo'd over to the side. I went outside to wait in the car until he was finished. Back then I was having panic attacks and now I see why. If your womens intuitiion tells you something is off, it is. They do this crap on purpose and it's so petty.