Not wanting to move in together
My SO and I have a daughter that’s 8 months old and he has a son that is 2 yrs old. When we first got together he didn’t know if his son was his. After DNA found out he was so we been together since his son was born. We always lived separate and now he wants us to move in together. Normally when he has his son I just don’t go over or I just go over for a few hours. I care about his son but SO has already told me I have no say when it comes to the way they raise him. He doesn’t listen well already and then spoil him and set no rules. I don’t go over because it’s hard for me to not say anything when I am there. I don’t want to have to live with the skid for the three nights two days he has him for . What should I do? Idk how to tell him without seeming rude and mean. Is it so wrong?
Like you, but but vice versa.
My story is a lot like yours. The difference is that we don't have an 'our child' and I find it very hard to get used to the idea of not moving together. He knows that (just like you) I would have a word to say in the education of his kids. So he wants to avoid any conflict.
Equity life partners are equity parents to children in the home.
If your baby daddy can't comprehend this then get the Custody/Support order filed and move on. If he can't raise his 2yo effectively, what makes you think he can be an effective equity parent in raising the 8mo you share?
There is no way he can not pollute your child with the lack of structure he participates in when raising the 2yo. If you move in together then the consequences of the ineffective parenting of the 2yo will impact your child.
Were I you I wouldn't remain in a relationship with a life partner that did not consider me an equity parent to any children in our marital home regardless of the biology of the kids in question.
Good luck.