BM is not in the picture at all. DH works 6 days a week and really is doing the best he can do for his son. However while he's at work I am at home (some of the time) and I see when ss15 leaves, comes and goes, and when DH gets home he is too beat to really have the energy for ss15. I have disengaged to the point of not even cooking for the brat. If he is not home for dinner I serve everyone but ss and sometimes dh will set out aplate for him and other times ss just scrounges for food. Yesterday I made lunch for me and my two boys at noon (I had the day off work and kids had early release from school) and we were sitting eating when ss15 walks in. We continued to eat and he grabs a sandwich and left again immediately. I felt guilty for not having food for him and for him feeling uncomfortable in this home but heck I cannot lay out the red carpet every time he comes and goes. For my kids I can cook b/c they are here when I am cooking, but my kids also grew up knowing my patterns and being available when I am available, ss on the other hand doesn't know how to act in a "normal" family setting b/c even when his parents were together bm never cooked and dh did the best he could around work so they've never had a normal family life and ss has learned to scrounge. When dh was unemployed for a couple years he tried to instill normalsy into his boys and did most of the cooking and cleaning and spent a lot of time with them, but since he's working again it's all gone away. And do I care? Well I do but I don't. Sometimes I have guilt knowing that I don't give a rats ass about how ss turns out, but I have my own kids to worry about too and I want them to turn out decent. My boys don't have a dad in their lives so they suffer in different ways but at least they don't go hungry!

I'm not sure why I wrote all that... lol Just ranting I guess. I do not like being a step mom. I hate this role and wish like hell I could get out of it. I cannot wait for ss to grow up and move out. Is that wrong?