because as it turns out SS7 does have an attention problem and is falling behind (badly). The teacher - very nicely mind you - recommended talking to ss7's pediatrician.

I went for moral support and BM said that it was okay that I went (her hubby went last time). I have been suggesting for awhile now that SS7 has some issues, but last year when we asked the teacher she said he was a little distracted but OK - now in 2nd grade things have gotten harder. IMO either ss7 is not getting enough sleep at night, which make him over tired and is causing the attention issue or the attention issue is cause ss7 to be unable to sleep with out stressing about EVERYTHING!

Any way here is what went down.

When we went in BM was okay. Her usual PTA Mom self. Of course she didn't say much. It started off great you know here is his work, then she showed us were he ranked in class - and she was being nice about it - but the gap between him and the other kids was pretty big. She said very simply that SS7 has an attention problem and they should talk to his Pediatrician about it as soon as possible. He has missed his bus twice this week because he can't listen for his bus number. BM said she was going to ask about it, it's her week and she has had to leave work to come get him.

When BM started to tears up the teacher calmed up a little bit. BUT DH didn't he went on to tel her about SS7 'anxiety issues' and ask about they bullying, which BM had been all about attacking the teacher for (before she got upset). The teacher said that SS7 hasn't said anything to her about it and she hasn't noticed it in class, but she doesn't handle the recess times. She offered to ask around about it and keep an eye out.

We talked more about the attention thing and I asked what we could do at home to help and she just repeated to talk to a doctor. He also needs to work on his hand writing (i think he just needs to slow down) and apparently he doesn't finish his assignments. Teacher doesn't think that it is something he can control.

when we left BM said good by hung her head and practically ran out the door. She speed walked down the hall the opposite direction that we were going and didn't stop to talk to us. We though she might follow us down to SS5's class were we had a special meeting with SS5's teacher - since we missed the IEP. But no she just left.

DH wanted to asked SS7's teacher if she noticed a difference in SS7 from one week to the other. Our house Vs. BM's house. Because we think it's related to him being over tired and BM refuses to follow the therapist recommendations to get him to relax before bed. I told him if he asks the teacher that to do it in person or over the phone and not when BM is around.

Lastly DH has said that he really doesn't want to medicate SS7. I guess he had issues when he was younger and I said his anxiety could be making it worse for him, MIL just had to change DH's diet to get him to focus. The issue is if BM won't follow the Therapist recommendation for sleep, then she won't follow a diet plan either. Medication is the only option... unless we go for full custody which as DH has said I don't think we are ready for. But we have talked about that as well. We may talk to a lawyer at some point to see if we even have a case.

On a happy note the meeting with SS5's teacher we great! He is doing well but they are having issues getting him to do what they ask and invited to come to class some day and show them how I deal with him, to give them ideas.