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Victory is MINE!

RedWingsFan's picture

So since we moved to the 1 bedroom apartment, this past weekend was supposed to be SD14's first weekend spending the night at our new place. DH and I got into an argument Friday regarding how I'm STILL not comfortable with her around, can't trust her, our place is TINY, etc. We only argue about her and whenever she comes around.

He left Saturday to pick her up around noon, then took her out for a walk. He said she admitted everything. Lying to her mother, grandparents and therapist about me, saying she was happy for us when she wasn't, saying she wanted them (BM and DH) getting back together up until the time DH and I married in June, how she lied to her mom saying DH called her all kinds of nasty names so she'd never have to come to our place again. He asked her if BM didn't force her to start coming around again, when would she have actually contacted him? She said "probably never".

So, after all that was out, he explained to her that she had a LOT of ground to make up, a lot of trust to earn and that she'd given up her rights to sleep over our place anymore. He told her we made the decision to move to a smaller place due to the fact that she hadn't talked to him in the months prior, and he wasn't sure if she'd ever be a part of our lives again so now she's not able to have her own space in our apartment and therefore, no more overnights. She said she understood and would like to take things slow to rebuild her bond with him and me over time. She said she understood why we don't trust her.

He believed it all, and since I wasn't there to read her body language, I can't say whether or not she was sincere or has something up her manipulative sleeve. This girl has done NOTHING but try to split us up or come between us but now that her mom is happy with a new man, I think she's finally over trying to get them to reconcile. People don't just change overnight, so I'm still guarded.

Of course, during the course of the day, she asked him to buy her ice cream, candy, a t shirt and some nail polish. He refused (OMG someone stop the world from spinning, DH actually said NO).

His new proposed visitation with her to start out slowly as she requested was: Every Tuesday night for dinner and a card/board game or a walk (while weather stays nice) and then every 3rd Saturday, he'll pick her up around noon and have her for the day. He said he told her it's not all about going to the mall or out to eat or special treats, but to actually spend quality time together. They'll do that for the rest of this year (He gets her on Christmas, I'll be in Detroit with my daughter/family) and build from there.

After their talk, they went to his dad's place to visit. His dad asked her what she wanted for Christmas. This kid had the nerve to say "Well, for my birthday last year, you gave me $50 and this year only $30, why??" He said "I never saw or heard from you over the entire summer - why SHOULD I give you more?" She said "Because I'm your oldest granddaughter and I deserve more". Yeah, entitlement at its finest. So he told her he could give her a gift card to her favorite store or cash and she said "Cash, and I hope it's more than my birthday"! UGH. One step forward, NINE THOUSAND steps back with her.

On to his brother's place for his niece's 6th birthday party. She made nice with everyone there and they had a good time visiting, but DH called me so I could talk with the birthday girl and say sorry I wasn't feeling good enough to make it.

Then he took Stepdevil home and made it home around 10pm. I had a decent day alone to myself, got some odds and ends unpacked from the move, caught up on laundry and called some friends/family I hadn't spoken to in a while.

Sunday was nice. No stress, no tension. Just relaxing and watching football. He said he already saw a difference in me. Well, yeah, when I don't have to have toxic stepdevil around, I'm a pretty happy person!

It's a victory for me. He gets to still see his kid whenever he wants, I don't have to deal with her and my apartment is completely clean and unpacked!

Comments

RedWingsFan's picture

Thanks! Just feels good knowing DH and I have nothing to argue/fight over now Smile

RedWingsFan's picture

It was great! Friday night, not so much and I know I felt resentful on Saturday when he got out of bed WAY early just to go rushing off to see stepdevil instead of cuddling me for a while like he normally does, but I was super glad to have some time to myself that day.

Yesterday was so relaxing and peaceful, I can't even describe it. He kept smiling at me and saying he was so happy to see me so content. Well, yeah, you know the ONLY thing that triggers my anger/sadness and since SHE isn't here - why wouldn't I be happy?

amber3902's picture

Glad the weekend turned out the way it did. Sounds like it was a lot less stressful than it could have been.

Guess you didn't need drugs after all, eh? Wink

RedWingsFan's picture

Yep, no drugs necessary now! LOL Truthfully, if it continues to stay this way, I may even quit drinking! LOL

RedWingsFan's picture

YES! And she asked DH for ice cream, candy, a t shirt, nail polish, assorted other things! I'm telling you, she has a hidden agenda with all of her "I'm being totally honest and upfront with you now" bullshit!

frustrated 1's picture

Yes that a true victory anytime you fight a war and win inner peace ah alls right in your world truly congratulations and prayers out to us who are still fighting the war for inner peace Smile

RedWingsFan's picture

Thanks - I'm a natural born pessimist so I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop but for now, I'm enjoying MY apartment without her!