Adult skids/bios living with you
Did any of you have a talk with DH/SO about adult kids living in your home?? SO and I had this talk before I moved in with him. The main reason was that his DD20 was moving out on her own for the first time. I was making sure she wasn't expecting to come back if she couldn't handle it. We had a long talk about it and both agreed no adult kids living with us. The only exception was if they were working and going to school. Then it would be temporary and they would have a plan for moving out.
I know this is hard to enforce when kids come back needing a place to stay but I have to say SO really impressed me.
SD22 with grandson 6 mos broke up with her BF. He isn't the baby's father she is divorcing her husband who is in the army right now. But she moved in with the BF while she was pregnant and her husband was stationed in another state. Crazy right :O Well surprise surprise she and this BF broke up and now she needs a place to stay. She kisses her BM's ass 24/7 but they have major issues living under the same roof. Because SD22 was raised as a princess who does nothing for herself she thinks everyone else should wait on her. SO flat out told her that she needed to get her life together for her son. We would help her out but she needed to figure out a place to live and get on her feet and make a good life for her and her son. I was shocked he didn't cave once she started feeling sorry for herself. I almost caved because I worry about grand baby living with BM who smokes 2 packs a day. But SO was strong and after she left. He said I have raised my kids I made some mistakes but I am not going to keep making them . She is a parent now and she needs to take care of herself and her son. I was very proud of him 
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That is great! I have to
That is great!
I have to admit I worry about SS17 getting mad at BM some day and wanting to move back in with us. He is so entitled and spoiled that I worry if he moved back in he may never move out again.
As hard as it was for him to
As hard as it was for him to do, your SO did the right thing and his daughter will be better off for it in the long run.
My husband and I agreed when we first got together that nobody lives with us. We didn't specifically say adult kids but, to me, it included ANY adult. It is very hard on a relationship to have others living in the same house.
I actually found this site because I felt a little guilty when SD21 asked my husband if she could "stay" with us. Not just her, mind you, but also her husband and their 2 young children. My husband was unemployed at the time and used that as an excuse to tell her no, he couldn't let me take on that financial burden (as neither SD nor her husband had a job). The truth is, I do not want them living with us, period. Ever. Not even if I had money flying out of my butt at the push of a button.
My SD made her decisions that lead to her being where she is in life and she will have to deal with the consequences.
my xh's dd22 lived with us
my xh's dd22 lived with us and her son for about 4 months, *I* made him kick her out or i was ready to take her to a women's center, cause he wasn't working, and she didn't reveal that she was pregnant until after she moved in with us. so i pulled him aside and told him (who also knew she was pregnant but refused to tell me) that if HE didn't get her out, *I* would take her to a women's center, etc.
i agree with you, when they choose to spread em and reproduce, it's time to grow up or get out (get out either way). coming home a few times every now and then for a few months, i get hell i've had to do that, but i was out FAST lol
glad your dh was able to stand his ground, so many today "use the kids" as reason's to not make their kids grow up.
let me also add, taht every
let me also add, taht every job opportunity she had come up she passed up because god forbid she'd have to deal with people....yeah, i wasn't about to support a herd on my income alone
Yes, DH and I discussed this.
Yes, DH and I discussed this. Before we got engaged, and again before we got married. There is no way I could, or will ever live with his kids (19, 20, 23). They only call him for money, and treat him terribly. Only one works, pt, and she is actively trying to get pregnant so she can quit her job and collect welfare. Nice, huh? She and one of her brothers have tried to move in, but DH did not bend. It cannot happen. We have a 2 bedroom home as it is, and with the way they are and their refusal to work-not ever gonna happen, as I say. When we were looking for houses, with our budget, we had a choice of this one, which does not need much work (just updating) or bigger ones needing a lot of work. We have family that could have made those bigger ones nice, but that would have made it all the much easier for the "kids" to bother DH.
I feel so strongly about this that if DH ever went back on his word, I would leave. All 3 of his kids lie around at BMs now. They do nothing but eat, sleep, and play video games.
I give your SO a lot of credit, bc it is so hard to tell them no. I dread the day one of the skids come here with a baby in tow. It will happen.