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wedding plans, who to invite ??? skids,bios ????

pat's picture

Submitted by pat on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 12:07pm

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General Discussion

Well , we just got engaged and my fiance asked me who do I want to invite? I am totally in the dark with this. She says no kids. My bios are 8 and 10. Since we dont get along with my family (long story) do I not invite my kids because hers are older? Who would pick up and drop off mine since we don't get along with my ex ? Do I still invite my family even if they don't get along with my future wife ?

Moon Child Step Mom's picture

Submitted by Moon Child Step Mom on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 12:18pm

Aw darling, it sounds like there is a TON of drama and baggage associated with this happy day… I’m so sorry it just can’t be a simple, happy expression of the love the two of you share… that you can openly share with everyone that you love. Weddings almost end relationships under the best circumstances (my ex was a wedding photographer and I’ve seen HUNDREDS of couples brought to the brink by the financial and emotional stress of their “big day”!)let alone all of this!

I think that the two of you (You and fiancé) REALLY need to have a sit down drag out discussion on how you both honestly feel about it…

Sounds like the little white chapel in Vegas is your best bet… good luck Groom-To-Be!

JustAnotherSM's picture

Submitted by JustAnotherSM on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 12:16pm

I've got 1 word for you --- ELOPE! I did it and it was the best decision I ever made. I didn't have to choose between friends to be attendants. I didn't have to worry about skid or BM ruining our wedding. I didn't have my family there to criticize everything. DH and I chose a destination wedding and we had strangers stand in as witnesses for us. Several months later, we had a dinner reception for all of our family and friends to celebrate. I highly recommend it! Smile

RB's picture

Submitted by RB on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 2:38pm

I say elope! Get away from everyone else and all of their issues and have a good time relaxing with your wife.

My husband and I talked about eloping, but didn't do it and went for the wedding involving all of his kids. Well, what a mess. Eloping would have been so much fun and much, much easier as well as costing a lot less for a lot more fun for us.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 2:59pm

My perspective on this may not be popular .... but ..... I for sure would invite my kids and my parents and friends if you are going to have the whole big wedding thing.

Not doing so would set your new marriage up for a ton of stress since your family is half of the picture as far as the extended family in your new marriage.

To avoid the potential stress I would just elope if I was you. That pulls the whole drama potential out of the situation.

My first wedding (to my XW) was the social event of the century, cost a fortune and the marriage lasted 2.5years. That worked out to $10,000 of cost for the wedding per year of marraige. My second wedding (to my incredible wife) cost $500 and we have been married almost 16 years. We announced our elopment to her family and mine as well as to our friends and told them when and where we were getting married if they wanted to come. Some did, most did not.

My second wedding was a much better investment. Wink

Good luck and best regards.