Your BF needs to start setting some very clear boundaries with her. If it hurts her feelings she will get over it. I seriously doubt he is going to banish her from any attention is the clinginess that he needs to address. Because it will get worse. My SD13 is really bad in my opinion but she is loads better than she used to be.

Before BM and SO split up she slept with them. She was eight when they split!!!! To me that is beyond creepy. She had such a hard time going to bed at his house because she continued to sleep with her BM at her house (still does if you ask me) she would have anxiety attacks. When I moved in she would only fall asleep on the couch and he had to carry her to bed. He was the same way and didn't want to hurt her feelings. I told him to man up and be a parent LOL

well, it happened to me at the very beginning of the relationship. One day we were watching TV and her SD came and kicked me in the face, she was so jealous... I talked to her and explained that he was her Daddy, not mine, that I already have one father and even her dad will marry me he will continue to be her Dad.

I do understand also that they need time on their own, but being clingy it`s not healthy and the responsibility of the father is to set up boundaries as well and define a clear relationship.
How old is she? Usually this will happen until 6 years old when the Electra complex ends.
Wish you good luck & patience, my blessings
Gaviotas

Hey, your guy sees it as a problem. That is HUGE. In my situations, mine included, HE initiates.... I guess he should physically put distance. When she does something he shouldn't say anything to her just get up. Scoot away. Take her arms and place them at her sides. Maybe subconsciously she will get it and change.

we have the same issue with SD16, views Daddy as her bestie, and deep down I think she thinks she is his "life partner" and my husband is to blame.

when we went to her therapist with out her last April, the counselor told DH he has created this problem over time and that as a result SD16 had the mentality of a 9 year olf. Right around your SD age.

Some suggestions he made: (not that my DH listened but)

when sitting in a comman room in your home SO and you sit side by side. So he would sit on the side corner on the couch with you next to him that way she can not sandwich in on the other side of him. When you do this she physically see's the two of you together visually.

same thing when walking, he walks next to you preferably holding hands. She walks infront or in back and he instructs her to do so. "honey come walk in front of us so I can keep and eye on you and see you"

dinner table, he sits next to you side by side on one side of the table, she sits on the other side of the table. NOT on the ends.

DH was told to you the phrase WE when correcting or so and I. Always putting you first. example: "Whatwasithinkin and I would prefer you dont sit on your feet at the dinner table"

He said this was just a stepping stone with more steps to follow, this was the first 6 weeks.

I dont know what the steps are after that because well DH could not keep up his end of the bargin with SD, mainly because he is a jack ass.

However I do know exactly what the outcome will be if the two of you dont start taking this seriously and get it under control

You will end up with a SD who shows you zero respect and you will live disengaged which is painful and hurtful to a marriage or you will just be miserable.

TAKE STEPS NOW

I had a girlfriend whose kids did the hyperaffection thing with each other. They knew how revolting they were and did it to annoy each other and witnesses. Is she challenging him to set boundaries and punishing him for not doing so? "I hate it when you do that because it's like you're pushing me to get angry and push you away. You're my best little girl ever, but most people in our culture want a little more space than you're giving me. I hope you don't act like this at school....people might think you're odd." Would saying something like that help? My friend's kids triggered my gag relfex. Their parents, by the way, were married to each other and still are and the kids grew up without becoming perverts or something. One's a musician and the other's some sort of math genius who has too many pets. That's within the realm of the normal, no?

My SD did this the first day I met the Skids. That was the only day it was allowed. I was half expecting her to cock her leg and piss all over SO and that is exactly what I said to him. He knew her behavior that day was not normal. So when she continued by physically breaking our hands apart and getting in the middle while we were walking or literally squeezing her butt in between us on the couch, I didn't say one word. That was my SO's deal and he handled it well after we had a conversation about it.

We went for a long walk one day, SD9 kept physically breaking up our hands so she could hold his. I walked ahead while he explained that it was very disrespectful, asked her WHY she felt the need to do that and then explained how his relationship with me was VERY different from his relationship from her. She cried, she moaned and then tried a few times again over the next 2 months or so and now has gotten over it completely.