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Divorce around corner

bostonstepmonster3's picture

Submitted by bostonstepmonster3 on Mon, 10/15/2012 - 11:33pm

To condense the last 7 years, I have 4 adult stepchildren who have zero manners and respect. I was labeled a gold digger from the before we met. I have ways been a motivated Type A person and as a single.mom of 6 years, went to University and worked 2 jobs. Met DD when my daughter was 6. Love instantly and he treated me as a queen, stopped everything for me. Now, zero acknowledge ment for the work I've put into our business, no sense of partnership on his part always the "I" language. I receive no dates, gifts, a desire to be with me on any intimate level. After 2 years ago when I got a hat e letter from the one son, that's when "us" took a backburner. What disgusts me isDD pots constantly on FB how proud is of his son. It took me getting in a car accident. Never a post about how his wonderful wife is taking on the world. So yah, I'm a bit jealous. When I finally.got my degree a few years ago, he didn't give a damn, no party. I will never forget that mh milestone meant nothing. These thoughts and all are going on then yesterday he announces his mother. is coming this week. The week I'm putting on a big event for Thursday nihht. He knew how important and stressful and what this week means to me. I had no say, he didn't include my feedba k. I was so livid, after everything was already brewing, then that, that woman in my house who trash talks me and is rude. Divorce time, he said hes done because of my anger last night.

Comments

bostonstepmonster3's picture

Submitted by bostonstepmonster3 on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 12:19am

Sorry for grammar and spelling/ difficult on a phone touchscreen

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 12:22am

Um, I sure see a whole bunch of "I's" here.
*I* don't get gifts.
*I* am jealous DH isn't posting how proud he is of me.
*I* didn't get a graduation party. (WTF? We went to dinner when I graduated. Who throws an adult A PARTY?)

What happened last night? You said the marriage is over "because of your anger last night." Did you come unglued?

BTW, for future reference, it is NEVER, EVER a good idea to be with a man who "treats you like a queen and stopped everything for me."
That is NOT love. That is infatuation. And, as you've learned, it wanes. No person, male or female, should "stop everything" for a new love.

Aeron's picture

Submitted by Aeron on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 7:24am

Who throws an adult a party? Seriously?? Considering that in the US children technically become adults at 18 - um, I'd guess at least 75% of parents. Not to mention that a Lot of people are given parties for graduating college which is generally around the age of 21-23. Adults. Then there's birthday parties, retirement parties, um, engagement parties and those things called wedding receptions, which are in fact one big party for Two adults. People get parties for graduating law school, medical school, coming home from the military, being abroad for "long" periods, so I personally find that comment catty and unnecessarily judgmental. If they've been a family that does parties for things like this and she was just not acknowledged, that could be pretty hurtful.

And if her DH is posting all over Facebook every day about his kids and never mentions her or them as an "us", I get how that could be hurtful to her. And not getting gifts... Eh, it depends on the extremity of it. If we're talking no little thoughtful just because gifts, whatever. If we're talking about birthdays, Christmas, anniversary... I get the use of *I*.

Not to mention that if he's been acting like an I for 2 years... She darn well ought to be thinking in *I* at this point.

Though I do agree with the final comment.

bostonstepmonster3's picture

Submitted by bostonstepmonster3 on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 8:52am

Aeron,

When I had worked over deacde and never gave up on school, becuase life happened, it was huge milestone I finally achieved to get that diploma. And it doens't matter what age you are, it is customary and shows thought and care and acknowledgement to the person who had been working so hard.

Aeron's picture

Submitted by Aeron on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 9:51am

I completely agree. Finishing school, particularly as a non-traditional student, is a major accomplishment and ought to be acknowledged. Some families don't 'do' parties for anyone, but if your family is one that does, to not have a party for you for that milestone would be quite hurtful.

bostonstepmonster3's picture

Submitted by bostonstepmonster3 on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 8:56am

I'm sorry but you are misreadding what I am trying to convey. He is stuck in his head, thus it's all the "I" in his world and not the we. Ithen feel left out of the marriage and yes, I don't get attention on any level.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

Submitted by MarriedaBalless... on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 11:12am

Don't feel the need to defend yourself Boston. Your points are very valid and you have every right to feel hurt and to rant.

Everyone on here who posts uses a lot of "I" statements. We come here to vent and get advice.

I like SAF and usually think she gives great advice, but her comment to you was way off base. In my humble opinion.

Your story is much like all the others here. Being taken advantage of, not appreciated and ultimately shit on.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

Submitted by MarriedaBalless... on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 12:31am

I'm sorry you are going through this Boston. I know how painful it is to be put last and not acknowledged for the things you do.

You sound like you are too good for this man anyway.

Congrats on your degree!

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))

Pinki3663's picture

Submitted by Pinki3663 on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 12:44am

Why can't an adult have a party? When my sister went to take her boards I woke up and plastered the front of the house with a home made good luck banner I had made and after her graduation I gave her a party. Why? because she deserved it for all the hard work she did for so many years.

Poster seems to have valid reasons to be upset.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Submitted by SanAntonioSoccerMom on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 11:12am

An adult can most certainly have a party. I think the sentiment is that a good majority of us find it odd that she would be upset over not getting a graduation party as a grown adult.

I don't think we even went out to dinner. I honestly cannot remember what we did, if anything, and it was just a few years ago for me too...well 2004.

bostonstepmonster3's picture

Submitted by bostonstepmonster3 on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 8:54am

I don't plan on entertaining her, I have a big event I'm working on this week and will rarely be her, bad timing on her part to just call up and announce shes coming. Thanks!