How convenient to throw all the blame at one person
Last night when SO finally came home with skid, he tells me that now BM is planning to take custody of skid away due to her saying that "BT doesn't LIIIIIKE MEEEEEEE!" all the time, and saying that she doesn't want to come home, and that too much time and attention gets spent on my kids and not her. WTF? I admit that I don't engage her, and I keep to myself and deal with my kids problems and activities. I stopped trying with her after she sabotaged every effort I made to be nice, so I fully admit my piece in it, but I don't agree that I should accept full blame on it. I was not even around her last week, with the exception of dinner. I was busy with conferences, youth group @ church, and girl scouts, so I thought she would be happy with all the alone time with her dad. Guess not. And apparently SO's mom and BM are in cahoots with this theory about me being the whole problem with the family not being harmonious. Hello, she has a father here,too. I see how he spends his time after work, and its not with SD. He is either out on the 3 season porch smoking and playing a game on his phone, or on the couch messing with the phone, all the while I run myself ragged with chores and paperwork and dealing with my kids. It's not like I have shooed her away either, there have ben plenty of times when my kids and I were playing a game or doing something at the table and she wanted to do it, but her dad told her she had homework or needed a bath that night. Then he makes the excuse that HE does things with my kid and spends time with her. MY kid doesn't let people ignore her, if she wants something, she will come up to you with a book or game. The last few times SD has come up to me it's been "BT, can you clip my toenails? BT will you clean out my ears?" Uhhh, no, go ask your dad. GRRRR! I am so annoyed and hurt and irritated by this whole thing.
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Comments
I think if stepkid is asking
I think if stepkid is asking you to do those things maybe she's trying to put up the white flag? I haven't read any of your blogs yet ill read them now and see if I have better advice for you
Let her try to use that as a
Let her try to use that as a platform for full custody, it will never happen with that as her starting off point.
What daughter step child doesnt cry to Mommy with the same exact story? Better yet, how many times has the judge heard it?
Tell her bring it on...
Come on, though!? Ask me to
Come on, though!? Ask me to paint your nails or play a game, not clean your dirty orifices! It gives me the willies doing it for my bios, I am not doing THAT for her, sorry, I have boundaries. And I think an 8 yr old should start doing those things for herself, honestly.
And yeah, I am not afraid of BM thinking she can actually use that as a reason to pursue custody, it was just convenient for her. I feed her, wash her clothes, clean up after her, and I am not abusive to her, which is more than I can say at times about my own bio parents that raised me, so quit your whining for attention, honestly! It's like she is using my "meanness" as a crutch and a way to gain attention and bond with BM and GM.
I agree. I was thinking for
I agree. I was thinking for some reason she was much young like 4 or 5. I wish I could stop doing that for my 11yr old he has high funtioning autisum and quite frankly I'm lucky if he takes a shower correctly.
Funny you should mention
Funny you should mention that, I have a son the same age who is also high-functioning, and also has issues with his personal hygiene, but I never attributed that to his diagnosis. I think, with him anyway, it's a phase that all little boys go through until they discover that girls don't like smelly boys. My 4 little brothers all went through it,too, and they are "normal." I remember my brother who is 2 years younger than me going down to the basement to "shower" and just running a wet comb through his hair and nothing else.
Sometimes I feel like I
Sometimes I feel like I should be on like 3 sites to vent. Here is what I can say though I really really understand what you go through. its never easy parenting children who are on the autistic spectrum. Then you have a stepchild that makes you nuts. Your DH may or may not help out. Playing on his phone smoking maybe having a beer on the portch your life is so similar to mine its crazy
Yep. I just tend to ramble
Yep. I just tend to ramble when things are on my mind, whether it's step-related or not, because somehow it comes back to the steps. My life makes me nuts in general trying to keep a full-time job and deal with 3 kids who all have a "disability" (BS11 AS, BD6 ADHD/ODD+anxiety, and SD8-plethora of undiagnosed issues) No one ever commends you for doing all you can for your kids, or for being selfless in sacrificing for them, but they never fail to blame you for everything you have failed at.
Honestly, BS11 was a lot
Honestly, BS11 was a lot worse off when he was a small child, now you can barely tell that he is even on the spectrum. He is a bit socially awkward (but so am I!) and can get overly frustrated at times, but he is ABOUT as normal as normal can get. I just wish his BF would stop playing the world's smallest violin for him and treating him like he can't do anything. I don't see his "disability" as being something that should limit him, he has the potential to do whatever he wants, he just sees the world a bit differently than others. That's where we disagree (his dad and I), I guess. My son says he wants to get a job and go to college and have a family and get to drive a truck, his dad for some reason thinks he is gonna end up living with him and living off the government with a bus pass and no job or life. It is just sad.