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"Happy" birthday to me... UGH.

sammmx's picture

Submitted by sammmx on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:09am

So today is my 21st birthday and BF and I had plans to go out for dinner and drinks after work. I was pretty excited about it, you know... but LOW AND BEHOLD BM calls him up and 'needs' BF to take the kids for the night. And since he hasn't got to see them lately he of course says yes. Well... there go our plans. He says we can still go out for dinner with the Skids (in the past NOT a fun experience), but considering SS3 goes to bed at 8pm I would rather just fucking stay at home. Happy fucking birthday to me...

Comments

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:18am

You're 21 and not married to this man. Run and find one without kids!

Seriously, welcome to the rest. of. your. life if you stay with him. Everything you will ever plan, want, do will be dictated by those children and their mother.

not.the.crazy.one's picture

Submitted by not.the.crazy.one on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:24am

^^^This.

Also, go out with friends!! Don't spend your 21st bday at home because of some thoughtless jerk. Go out and have fun without him while he's home taking care of his kids!

justanothergurlNJ's picture

Submitted by justanothergurlNJ on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:29am

UGH I hate this BM always does this. My bday is saturday and we have a wedding I told SO DO NOT mention to her either because she will find a reason to aks you to take the skids and we just had them this past weekend. SUre as the sky is blue she picked them up Sunday and an hour later called SO and asked if he could take the boys Friday night. He said no we have plans and again told her we plan or weekends around the visitation schedule, and it is not his problem she is dating a married man and can only see him on Friday nights. THat is a whole other blog, but when I found out I almost pissed my pants.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

Submitted by justanothergurlNJ on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:52am

I hear ya, I don't care WTF she does on our weekends BUT there is no way on Gods green earth I will give up my skid free weekend so she can run around with anyone married or not. Truth be told her hooking up with a married man is her Karma for all the shit she has done to me and SO. We all know the shit storm that will come if and when wifey finds out. I could not have gotten better karma if I sold my soul to the devil himself. SO was never married to BM and while our relationship started while they were together and she talked mad shit about me and I guess I did deserve some of it she is now what I call a Glass House. She threw stones and turned around years later and is doing the same thing almost, but this guy is MARRIED!

justanothergurlNJ's picture

Submitted by justanothergurlNJ on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 12:00pm

While it is tempting, I really cab't be bothered putting that much energy and thought into it. I would rather wait for karma to do it, let BM get all attached and fall in love. May sound mean but it is what it is, also we live in different towns have different friends it would not be an easy task and like I said just can't be bothered to put my time and energy into it. Karma will get her it is only a matter of time.

sammmx's picture

Submitted by sammmx on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:34am

Seriously... The SKids were here on the weekend because my mother was in town and wanted to give SS3 his birthday gift (His birthday was at the end of September) and we were all talking about how my birthday was on Tuesday. I'm sure SS9 repeated all of this to BM and I'm also sure this plays a role in WHY the SKids are getting dumped on us last minute. Ugh.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:31am

OM

You are 3 days older than my son, too young to be dealing with this bullshit.

There are plenty of childless/BM free young men out there.

Get out there. Life the live of a care free 20+ year old. Let that old man figure out how to deal with his kids and BM drama himself.

I bet he didn't spend his 21st birthday sitting in the house playing daddy.

Call up a few girlfriends, go out and have a good time.

goincrazy.com's picture

Submitted by goincrazy.com on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 12:33pm

Me too, If I wasn't so in love with my idiot husband I would leave. I know thats not what this girl wants to hear but if I had any clue as to what I was getting into I would have NEVER got involved

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:40am

***

sammmx's picture

Submitted by sammmx on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:37am

Haha. If I had any friends I'd be all over that. But I don't really, all my friends live in my hometown 6 hours away and therefore is not an option. So it looks like I'll be celebrating alone with a bottle of wine locked up in my bedroom. Woo.

Clearly An Upgrade's picture

Submitted by Clearly An Upgrade on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:47am

That's a terrible idea. While you're in your room with a bottle, keep thinking "Welcome to the rest of my life." Maybe that will be enough to make some changes in time for your 22nd birthday.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:48am

What about coworkers?

Do you live in or near a college town? If so, start hanging out near campus~shopping, dining, bars....Heck take some classes.

The only way to find a childless man your age is to hang out where they hang out.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:48am

What about coworkers?

Do you live in or near a college town? If so, start hanging out near campus~shopping, dining, bars....Heck take some classes.

The only way to find a childless man your age is to hang out where they hang out.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 12:09pm

***

TASHA1983's picture

Submitted by TASHA1983 on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 11:54am

Shame on your BF for doing this to you!!! What a fucking asshole! You are 21 and this is a special b-day! He is very disrespectful of you and your feelings. I can promise you that what happened today with the skids and bm will be a constant "happening" as long as you are with him. He will ALWAYS put skids and bm BEFORE & ABOVE you!

You dont deserve to be any man's option!!! Whether it is for his kids or not!!! That is BEYOND fucked up!!!

If I were you I would still go out, even if it is alone and to a movie or out shopping whatever you decide. At least get out of the house! Look at it this way, if you go out then he is stuck at home with his brats and you are out doing whatever you want because you are not obligated to stick around and watch or care for HIS kids! Give that prick a dose of his own medicine!!! HAVE FUN GIRL!!! Wink

Kendall's picture

Submitted by Kendall on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 1:08pm

I like this idea ^^^^. A couple of years ago, I was dating a jerk who did not like going out. I spent the evening with a couple of girlfriends at Cheddar's (right after I dumped him)having drinks and eating a nice meal. If my friends had not been available, that is something I would've done by myself. Another thing I have done in the past was to go shopping and treat myself to a nice birthday present that I really wanted. If you don't want to go out alone, go to a mall and buy yourself something special.

smarmy's picture

Submitted by smarmy on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 2:11pm

This this this this this! ^^^^^^^^

I have done this before when i'm craving sushi and my hubby refuses to tag along.

I will dress cute, go sit at the bar and order a drink and my favorite roll.

I always end up striking up a conversation with staff or others sitting at the bar and it keeps you from feeling like you are going out alone.

Happy Birthday girl!

smarmy's picture

Submitted by smarmy on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 2:11pm

This this this this this! ^^^^^^^^

I have done this before when i'm craving sushi and my hubby refuses to tag along.

I will dress cute, go sit at the bar and order a drink and my favorite roll.

I always end up striking up a conversation with staff or others sitting at the bar and it keeps you from feeling like you are going out alone.

Happy Birthday girl!

goincrazy.com's picture

Submitted by goincrazy.com on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 12:51pm

Do Not Stay Home!!!!!! like newwife said, go out! You will regret it and always look back on your 21st with resentment if you don't do what YOU want to do

StarStuff's picture

Submitted by StarStuff on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 12:54pm

Happy Birthday girl! Today's my 26th bday. FDH has the "man-cold", so of course he thinks he's dying, so my birthday lunch plans got canceled. I was SOOO looking forward to sushi too.
But hey, going out with my best girlfriend later tonight. Cheers!

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

Submitted by MarriedaBalless... on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 3:40pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

And, you are too young for this shit. Go find a man without kids and be happy!

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 4:00pm

Happy Birthday...You should be shit faced already. I still remember my 18th and the awesome keg party I had (legal at that time).

My DD22 got married on Aug 3rd of this year. We had plans for my cousins to come stay at our house and have a great time. BM knew this. When SO picked up the skids to bring to wedding, BM said he couln't bring them back that nite b/c she was going to see their oldest son in jail...FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 3 MONTHS and SHE HASN'T BEEN BACK TO SEE HIM SINCE.

Now everything is a secret b/c I know, and she knows I know (I sent a text telling her ass off).