Why, why, WHY did I marry a man with kids TWICE?!?
Grr. I am so frustrated!!
I love my DH, I really do. I married young to a divorced man with a child. I spent 15 years dealing with the crazy BM and drama and pains in the asses it brought!!!!
Now????
I am SO fucking irritated!!! WHY does BM get everything she wants, INCLUDING my fucking money?!?!?!
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Hey what's going on? How does
Hey what's going on? How does she get YOUR money? DO tell...
Your money? Didn't you just
Your money? Didn't you just post on someone else's blog that when two people are married everyone's money is "our" money? And this was precisely the argument that a lot of people were making and you poo pooed them saying you didn't understand how married people could keep their money seperate. This is why a lot of them keep it seperate. This is EXACTLY why.
Facts: My steps are all
Facts:
My steps are all adults now.
My DH was JUST ordered to pay for ridiculous charges for his ADULT fucking daughter. (By just, I mean like a week ago!) Body massages, birth control, pregnancy tests(!), you fucking name it. $1000. I've never heard of anything more ridiculous, but hey...Family Court sucks the big one!!!
We didn't even get a chance to mail a fucking payment (we were going to send $100 a month just to piss off BM!)
Nope. DH is a signer on my account and they fucking took it! How the fuck do they manage to garnish a bank account in a week's time, but never collect it FOR me? My XH owes ~$85K!!
Ok, I'm ranting. It pisses me off because it was MY money. DH says we should just pay it and be done, but I'll be damned if she's going to get a windfall of MY money!! Because her daughter is a WHORE!
I probably said married people should have joint money. I do NOT operate on the your money, our money thing. I routinely say that women should support themselves instead of relying on a man to do it!
The worst part is...we just added each other as signers because we moved cross country and if something happened...the other could access money.
Fuck me.
Married 5 years, and I finally bent JUST A LITTLE and added him.
Really, it "shouldn't" be a
Really, it "shouldn't" be a problem if your DH doesn't owe arrearages. My DH has paid everything on time and in full for as long as there's been an order. He's NEVER been in arrears, so I never thought it would be an issue.
Apparently, the particular state will take the money any way they can. We haven't even gotten a copy a the final order yet!! I just shake my head, because they haven't done a damn thing to collect FOR me.
SMH
I'm sorry SAF. I hate to see
I'm sorry SAF. I hate to see people get fucked over someone else's past.
Yea..I guess. I am not
Yea..I guess. I am not getting it since this is totally a different view than what you normally portray.
I think if this was any other poster, you would tell them to deal with it and it is both of your money and if DH is ok with paying it, then you need to suck it up and let him pay it. It is his kid after all.
Willow, I think you're
Willow, I think you're confusing me with another poster or something. I usually say if they have separate finances, that both parties should be able to do with it what they want.
I also say if a man is supporting his wife/SO and additional kids, and she contributes nothing, that she should NOT get "equal say" because it is, in fact, HIS money.
His "kid" is an ADULT. We are not talking minors here.
Really, it "shouldn't" be a
Really, it "shouldn't" be a problem if your DH doesn't owe arrearages. My DH has paid everything on time and in full for as
++++++++++++++++++
So why are they taking the money??
Yes, that is the risk one
Yes, that is the risk one takes when adding someone to their account.
Ok, I concede that you might
Ok, I concede that you might not have used those exact words, but you have to admit that you come down very hard on people who even suggest that their dh have spent too much money on their skids. You admit you and your dh bought your skids shoes, clothes, cars, etc on top of cs. In my opinion, and it is JUST my opinion because we all know that we only get small looks into each of our lives, you created an entitlement problem with both the kid and the BM. You paid cs and you still paid for things that CS should have covered for years and years and now they expect you to keep paying.
you created an entitlement
you created an entitlement problem
+++++++++++++++++++++++
This is exactly what I'm trying to explain to SAF. It is NOT right to be expected to provide EVERYTHING for a SKid when the Skids mom is getting a CS check that is precisely for the Skids needs. SAF seems to feel that giving the DH a "ration of crap" because he provides sneakers despite sending CS is wrong and that instead we, as wives, should just be OK with the endless wings on our husbands dollars, flying straight into BMs grubby hands.
And not for nothing, but you
And not for nothing, but you just posted on someone else's blog that you have a great relationship with your adult sd and yet you just called her a FUCKING adult in this blog. If you have such a great relationship with her, how about you ask her to pay her own bills? Tell her that she is an adult now and you're really sorry her mommy paid it and is now asking you for the money, but since she is an adult she should really be paying for it, not mommy and therefore you'd appreciate it if she would give her mother the money.
She just clarified that she
She just clarified that she has 2 SDs. She gets along with the one from her first marriage. I guess THIS SD is the FUCKING SD. LOL...
Money = power It's hard to
Money = power
It's hard to watch DH give away more power than SM deems necessary. Of course, with our own children....we'd gladly give everything we have and more. There in lies the rub. My son's father paid CS for one year of his entire life. The state just recently garnished a princely sum after almost 2 decades. I never thought I'd see the day. Make sure the state has your updated contact info, and your ex's as well. Call his state too if ex is out of state.
My guess w SAF's SD is that she's under 23....soon it will be 26, right? So she's still on the health insurance.