Conversation between BM and SO last night OR she dug herself a nice hole for our lawyer to bury her in: OPINIONS PLEASE!
Continued from previous blog
BM:And since the times she is at daycare land on my parenting hours I can choose where she is or is not. Your parenting time ends at noon. That's when she is dropped off at the daycare ...since I know she is safe there.
SO:Well I suppose I will just see you in court then. I will keep an eye on the mail for the court date. And no, neither of us are "in charge", and I will not be taking her to daycare. The above letter was just a courtesy to you. See you tomorrow.
BM:Thanks ...there is no need for your UN necessary drama.
BM:Nothing to say? As long as my parenting time starts and ends at noon I can decide where SD is during my parenting time.
BM:And just cuz you have her two nights a week does not change the fact that I have.soul phyr custody like you seem to think
BM:Your pathetic. Good night! Get a life and quit bothering me. I'm not scared to put you in jail when my child is missing from the daycare she is scheduled to be at. And ill have them call me if she isn't there at 12:01 on her scheduled days...
Since 12:00 is the start of my parenting time. And if you can't affor$30 a month for daycare how will you afford a wife or another kid?
BM:I'm not scared of you
If I can't have SD when your at work why should you have her when I am?
SO:On the first schedule you wrote me, next Monday (August 20th,2012) you want me to drop off to my mother at 6pm.
you then revised the next schedule to meeting halfway at 3:30pm on August 20th, 2012.
Now you are stating that I am to drop her off at daycare at noon.
That is 3 times you have changed the schedule, each time lowering my time with SD.
So how exactly did you feel she was safe with me 2 weeks ago, but now she isn't? Regardless, of course you shouldn't be scared of me, I haven't given you any reason to be.
I gave you a heads up that I will now be following our original agreement.
I will have my lawyer contact you and yours to follow up on your court proceedings. See you tomorrow.
BM:SO my work schedule keeps changing ....not my fault. Either drop her off at the daycare or go to jail.
Your choice.
BM:Leave us alone
And you are taking time from me just line(caseworker) said by leaving her with a third Party...two can play that game.
And if I don't make up these schedules then the chances of you showing up on rime are slim. Sorry I messed up Sunday but Ive Been very sick the past two weeks and yourself the last thing on my mind. Go find someone else to control
As our agreement states my parenting time begins and ends at noon so I can decide where she goes before or after noon.
And I choose for her to be at daycare since its easier for me to get her there since I no longer work in(hometown) so driving there is out of the question.
BM:And when she is at daycare they work on potty training with her
...unlike you whom I've heard you told a family member if yours you aren't training SD because she's not ready. Funny ...here if I don't take her she takes herself ...same at daycare.
BM:Keep building your case SO ....I've got pleanty of pictures...my lawyer loved the pictures!
And we still get charged by the daycare if SD is scheduled and doesn't show up. So if this is your way of saving money it's not gonna help.
SO (today): BM,
It is clear that we cannot consistently agree verbally outside of our court order. Because of your inconsistencies with your schedule, I will now ONLY follow the court order as stated.
I will not deviate from it.
As per our court order, the exchange time will now ALWAYS be noon-regardless of your schedule.
That being said, you have written on your third revised work schedule that I am to pick SD up at 3:30PM on August 30th,2012 for my 2 day visitation. This, because of your own statements will not be happening. I will actually be picking her up at 12 O'Clock (noon) on August 30th,2012 per our court order from your house or from daycare if you are working.
Please be reminded that the same laws that you instilled on me last night apply to you as well.
This will also serve as a reminder to you that your "reasonable phone call time" with SD per our court order should be completed before 6pm, as calling any later interrupts her dinner and bedtime routine. I believe this to be a reasonable suggestion as I can not guarantee that we will be available to answer your calls any later.
BM:I'm fine with calling before 6. I'm out of work at 5:30.
August 30 will have to be 330 because SD has a well child check up at two.
Yes our order clearly states that patenting time starts and ends at noon. So noon. Monday is the enf of your time. If I choose for SD to be at daycare the last three hours I'm at work that is my choice since that is my time. Thanks
Saturday the 1st you can keep SD till 6 that should make up for those three hours lost due to her apt.
SO:I will repeat again that there will no longer be any switching of the exchange times. I will pick her up at noon on August 30th. Her check up falls on my time so I will take her. I will not keep her until 6 on September 1st either. I will drop her off to either you or daycare at noon per your request. Because you are unable to follow your own "rules" that you have put in place, I will no longer be following your schedule. I will ONLY be following the court order. If you have a problem with that, then I suggest you take it up with the judge when you take me to court.
Thoughts please?
We haven't gotten a response to the last note yet but guaranteed it's going to be asinine.
She did exactly what we knew what she was going to do so this way our bases are covered. She will try to tell the judge that she always offers him more time with SD and our lawyer can say, well you threatened to put him in jail if he took extra time. So he chose to ONLY follow the court order. And she can no longer try for contempt.
*note: everything she said is bullshit too. SHE is the one not potty training not us, SO picked her up from daycare the other day and she was in DIAPERS. Not pull-ups, not undies...DIAPERS. Exactly.
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IAmALady, what does the
IAmALady, what does the actual court ORDER (the one signed by a judge/commissioner) say about visitation/exchange times? I read that the time changes based on her work schedule (which is the screwiest damn thing I've ever heard! but then I read it's noon...) If the exchange time is noon, then NOON it is. If BM is at work, get the kid from daycare, grandma, whatever. If BM scheduled an appt on SO's time, well...she can either re-schedule it or have SO take her. Your SO is smart to stick to the CO. Deviating from it DOES NOT WORK when the parents aren't co-parenting and don't get along.
Also, you're in Michigan, correct? MI is not exactly a "one party recording" state. A 1982 case ruled that if one party was aware of the recording, it was not considered eavesdropping. However, in 1999 the MI Supreme Court ruled that one party "may not unilaterally nullify other participants’ expectations of privacy by secretly broadcasting the conversation" and that the overriding inquiry should be whether the parties “intended and reasonably expected that the conversation was private.” Therefore, it is likely that a recording party may not broadcast a recorded conversation without the consent of all parties. Dickerson v. Raphael, 601 N.W.2d 108 (Mich. 1999).
Anyway, just some info for you. You "may" not have the smoking gun you think you have.
Also I googled that case I'm
Also I googled that case I'm not familiar with legal-eeze but I think that case is referring to recording conversations over the phone that the unaware party thinks is private. This was in our house and I was present for the meeting so it really wasn't a very private secret conversation. Who knows though? We'll have to talk to the lawyer about it.
The court order states that
The court order states that Pick-up and drop off time is NOON. It doesn't specify WHO they have to pick up or drop off too. They didn't go to court for this agreement, they agreed in front of the caseworker who then wrote it up and made it official. THEY agreed (and of course, us thinking that she could be normal didn't think to put this in the CO) that if she was working that SO should keep her rather than take her to daycare.
Thanks for the info, even without the recording she still can't do anything to us if she even actually takes him to court. But that will be something we'll have to discuss with the lawyer.
When you say "made it
When you say "made it official," do you mean it went to a judge to be signed into an order?
Yes, sorry. Just the paper
Yes, sorry. Just the paper went in front of him not BM and SO.
That is hilarious. I love how
That is hilarious. I love how BM keeps responding to SO even when there is nothing to respond to. "Quit bothering me." Who is bothering who exactly?
SO should definitely keep on ignoring her except to repeat "I will only follow the CO." That will really piss her off and she will keep spouting off crap that makes her look like an idiot.
God, I'm glad SD is 21.
She just replied that she
She just replied that she will change SD's appointment. She seems to finally be catching on that he is in fact GOING to follow the CO lol
Well, that is what she
Well, that is what she wanted! Oh, that's right, only when it suited her.
Our BM would do crap, thinking she had really stuck it to DH and then later it would bite her in her fat ass!
^^This. Stick to the CO.
^^This. Stick to the CO. Period. Even if it sucks for BM.
Keep to the CO and document
Keep to the CO and document document document. Photos, notes whatever. Document!
Just keep stickin to that
Just keep stickin to that court order. I do believe, that even though their is a "verbal" agreement (outside of CO) recorded or not, it does NOT hold up in court. At ANYTIME, EITHER party can just stop "playin nice" and say, Nope gonna follow CO order now. And while yes, it would be nice and in the best interest of the child if she was able to be with Dad instead of daycare (when he can) i don't believe that matters if the CO order says his parenting time is from this time to this time. UNLESS he has first right of refusal, BM can choose to have kid where she wants her to be on her parenting time.
In any case, i would just STOP w/ all outside agreements and just follow the court order. And personally, I wouldn't even ask BM for any help on my parenting time. for example, if I needed to take kid some where, or couldn't spend ALL my parenting time, I would find a relative to finish the job for me. Afterall, it IS dh's parenting time and he can have kid where ever he wants on HIS parenting time!
No SO is HOME during this
No SO is HOME during this time (read my past few blogs and you'll see). She is just playing games. And it is 30 bucks on his end with the schedule they were following. Of course paying for daycare is not a problem for us, it is CHEAP lol, it's the fact that she keeps playing her little games and it's pathetic. She didn't demand that he put her in daycare instead of keeping her the extra 3 hours because I'm watching her, he's HOME during this time, that was the whole point lol and we're not threatening court, we're happy the way things are. We JUST got this new parenting plan last month. SHES the one threatening over lord knows what.