We recently got the skids after our week off, and they were RIDICULOUSLY tan. I mean, insane tan. TAN TAN. Don't get me wrong, I totally remember being outside all day long in the summer and getting tan when I was a kid. And I've used a tanning bed before, and gotten spray tans so I'm not judging those that do tan occassionally. I personally have stayed away from tanning beds for the last 3 years and I'm really proud of myself, and trying to "own" my skin.

But the changes in one week was actually alarming. We went to a family event that week and it was like EVERY person remarked about how dark their skin is, and not necessarily in an impressed kind of way, more in an undertone of "don't these kids wear sunscreen?"

I know part of our perception of this is skewed by the fact that BM tans year round, every day, and her skin looks more like a leather handbag each time I see her. She is OBSESSED with tanning.

So anyway, after a little chatting with SD7, asked her what she has been up to all week, etc -- she said "I love summer because ALL we do when we're with Mommy is go to the pool and tan." I said, "You mean you and your brother swim while your mom tans?" "No, Brother swims and I swim a little bit but mostly I lay next to mommy and we tan."

I said something about making sure she is wearing sunscreen and she says that they do put some on sometimes but that will make her not tan so they don't always put it on. WTF?

This is when DH stepped into the conversation and said "SD7, tanning is not good for your skin." SD says "But mommy is tan. She's REALLY tan!" and DH goes "Yeah, that's NOT cool OR pretty." (EEK -- I know he shouldn't have said that in that way.) To ease that tension I just gave a brief explanation that you can get cancer if you aren't careful in the sun.

Anyway, SS4 heard this whole conversation. About three days later, I had asked him to go put his pajamas on. We were at the family thing, spending the night at grandma's with a bunch of other people there too. He comes back upstairs, BUTT NAKED! He says in front of everyone, "SteppingUP! Look at my tan!! I'm sooo tan!"

I brought him away from everyone because of course they were laughing, and I reminded him that he needs to be putting his pajamas on. But of course I sooo wanted to say, "I don't give shit about your tan that your mother keeps telling you is so cool to have!!"

So. How do we approach this with the kids, to teach them to be safe in the sun, that the object of the game is not to be the most tan person on earth without blatantly putting down their mother? Just let it go?