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Cant help but be pissed off and not let it go

discfocused's picture

SO it is 96 degrees out today and horribly humid... The pools just opened so they will be horribly cold and packed. We had a pool for 2 years but dont this year because ss9 decided that for whatever reason, it would be fun to put a hole in it. It is one of those 5 foot pools you can get. So it not huge, but it came up to my waist and would be perfect to go out and float around in while getting a nice tan. BUT, I cant do that because since he was in one of his "hey lets do this because it'll be funny for 5 seconds" moods and put a hole in it.......I cant. He claims he "accidentally" threw a rock at it. However, my dogs got in the pool and climbed over the sides (40 pound dogs mind you with nails) and holes never happened. I tested it out after he used that excuse. I chucked several rocks at it.... Guess what, not happening.. There is no way that kids put a hole in it by throwing anything at it.This of course it typical behavior for him. He thinks about nothing, laughs at everything and acts like a 3 year old. I'd list other stuff as examples, but I would just be typing the rest of the day.
I may be wrong for it, but every chance I get I make it known that its his fault. SD6 said yesterday "I wish we still had our pool". I said yeah it would be nice but someone thought it would be more fun to destroy it than keep it around and swim in it. Yes, I looked straight at him while saying this. I just went outside and tried to get some sun but its just to hot. I took that chance too when I came in. "Its so perfect outside to swim, it really sucks that because someone can't think before he acts that we cant be outside swimming". I dont care what anyone thinks, Im so tired of him ruining fun for everyone else because he is immature. FDH is looking to buy another used one this time. The first few times we swim in it, SS9 WILL be sitting on the porch watching. I REALLY dont NOT like him today. I want to take him to the babysitter and take sd6 out swimming.

lac925's picture

Well, your SS9 gave himself his own punishment by destroying the pool - now, he can't swim in it! If it's the kind of pool I'm thinking it is, NO a rock thrown at it will NOT break it - it's supposed to be made out of durable material that can withstand a certain amount of pressure. So in all likelihood, he purposely did something to put that hole in it. Now, he'll have to spend the whole summer without a refreshing pool to swim in. He ruined it for himself, which is the best revenge. And good for you, not allowing him into the pool right away. Why should HE ruin something, then be allowed to partake in the fun when you get a new one?

I have skids who ruin things for everyone, too, and it's so frustrating. We can't do anything or have anything nice because they just ruin it. But if they break something (ie their toys), then they will do without. No way we're getting them new toys!

discfocused's picture

Yeah he breaks mostly other peoples things, like his sisters. He will take care of his own toys but as soon as he gets something that belongs to his sister its a different story. He had very little remorse over the fact that he did it last year because it was at the end of the year and so he hasnt realized the consequence of it till now when even he has said something about getting a pool. He saw his dad looking at them online and got all excited. His dad told him "I dont know what your getting excited about, you wont be swimming in it, you had a brand new one and decided to destroy it so I am getting one so the rest of us will still have a pool to swim in". He can play in the sprinkler we have while we all swim. I dont feel bad for him at all. He needs to start learning that his consequences have actions because he is not taught that at home.

knucklehead's picture

Time to start acting like a grownup.
Shit, what you describe sounds like the same bullshit kids pull on each other, and the ADULTS in their lives are supposed to teach them otherwise.
Yet another story that reminds me of HOW GLAD I AM that my children don't have a stepmother.

bi's picture

i don't see this as immature at all. the kid apparently doesn't think about anything and that's a regular thing for him. it sounds like he needs constant reminders to realize that his actions have consequences. i do the same thing with my 17 year old daughter. she needs to be forced to think sometimes. like most recently when she treated a great friend like shit, and now that they aren't nearly as close, she misses her SO much. gosh bd, maybe you shouldn't have been an asshole to her just because your loser exbf was in town for 2 days. kids need to know that their actions not only have consequences, but sometimes those consequences last a long long time.

discfocused's picture

I hope he grows out of it. BM never gives him consequences and follows him around cleaning up after him. I was outside playing with him a few weeks ago trying to work on his soccer skills and he ran to the bathroom. When he came back out I said did you had an accident.. He said no but then I went in like 20 minutes later and in the bathroom he left crap in the toilet, crappy underwear on the floor and on the bathroom sink there was a big towel with crap all over it that he used to clean himself with. This kids seriously thinks adults are his personal maids. I was FURIOUS. I understand accidents happen but dont lie about it and leave all that stuff in the bathroom. He is WAY too old for all that. He also still wets the bed and will change and not say anything till I go in his room and smell it.

bi's picture

my hands itch to smack him for you! a few years ago, sd (17 at the time) was here with her bf. after they left, i see that she used one of my wasclothes to wrap her bloody underwear in and left the whole mess on my bathroom counter. i was PISSED. i texted her and told her that leaving her bloody mess for me to clean up was NOT COOL. the whole wad got thrown in the garbage and i bleached the counter. if that bitch thought i was going to scrub her nasty underwear for her, she was dead wrong. i really don't understand why these kids find this shit acceptable. i would be embarrassed to do that, even if it was to someone i hated. you can bet she would NEVER have done that to her bf's mom! f'g skank. i think if something like that happens ever again, i'll take foxie's advice to other's, take a picture, and fb it. if she's gonna leave that nastiness laying around, apparently she doesn't care who sees it anyway. }:)

discfocused's picture

Get over yourself. I am not calling the kid names. I am simply pointing out the fact that for his 5 seconds of fun he had that he ruined fun for himself and other people; something that he does ALL THE TIME. His mother teacher him that EVERYTHING is a joke and funny and cute and it is NOT. He is disrespectful and the only thing that goes through his mind is how he can have fun at that exact moment regardless of how it affects other people. Even his 6 year old sister says every day "Knock it off *****, thats not even funny". She tries to get away from him all the time because he is always chuckling and trying to do something he shouldn't be doing. His behavior is funny for a 3 or 4 year old. Not a 5 or 9 year old. He has no sense of manners and belches and farts and the table and ends up laughing and spitting food all over the place because of it. And no, he has no mental issue, the school required him to be tested. Its the fact he has been taught no manners or respect.

lac925's picture

Kids, especially younger kids, need to learn that there are consequences for their actions. Even if there wasn't a "grown up" around, if he broke the pool, then it's broken. Period. Are we supposed to give in to every little thing that kids want, just because they broke/lost it? As ADULTS, it's our job to teach these kids about responsibility.

And FYI, it's not just stepmothers who do this. I have a BS5 and he faces the consequences all the time when he breaks/loses his toys.