We have been having issues with SD11 and SD12 not wanting to come here or stay here when there is nothing FUN going on. They want to be here when we have plans for stuff but during the week when we both work they don’t want to be here because it’s boring at home alone.
OK first off, we don’t allow them to go outside when we are not there. I only work 3 days a week. One or two of those days that I work we usually have a friend/family member come and sit with the kids or take them to our pool for a little while. However when SD11 has softball she is not allowed to go outside at all because it’s been a heat index of 110, and we don’t want her exhausted for her games. This is also the request of her coach. I wasn’t allowed to go outside on my game days either. These kids have more CRAP to do then I even know what to do with. They have an Xbox Connect, hundreds of movies, games, crafts. You name it. They don’t get up until 11 or 12 anyways and SO is usually home between 3-5 PM. They are only awake for a few hours before he gets there. There is food already prepared for them or things they know how to make without using the stove.

I mentioned to SO that I feel like they use us. I feel like they only want to be here when we are going to “spend” money or do fun things but when we don’t they don’t want to be here. There have been times where we decided to go on strike and not “do” ANYTHING or “spend” any money at all on them. I even to make my point would take everyone out shopping or so they thought and I or SO were the only ones who got anything. I know that there is “someone specific” out there that thinks we are trying to BUY them, but that is not the case at all. We do have money and we do like to do things. The kids are not sent with ANYTHING when they come here so we do have to buy clothes and as kids grow it’s getting to be a ongoing issue with changing sizes all the time. I have stopped buying SD8 anything new because she has clothes in her closet that she picked out that still have tags on them. She always wears the same crap when she is here. She also is not very grateful about the stuff she does get. She acts entitled so I am done and she knows that and also knows why.

I talked to SO and as we are planning on taking a family vacation during August and the kids know all about it and are looking forward to it, I am thinking of implementing a “clause” into being able to go. SD12 did not come to see us at all last summer as she was ‘mad’ at SO, we didn’t know what her plans were week to week and I didn’t want anyone to feel left out so we never went anywhere last year. I told the kids that this year we were going to be making plans and we would let their BM’s know when we would be going and if you here that are great but if you’re not we are still going to go this year. To prevent SD12 from pulling this same crap on us this year and SD11 starting to do the same since they both got caught lying to BM about SO they don’t want to come. Well if you’re not here for half the summer as the Court order states then you’re not going to go with us on this family vacation because you chose to not be a part of this family. I am considering sitting them all down and telling them the way it is. SO has also talked about making SD12 come here for half the summer as the CO states so. BM will try to pull the “she is old enough to make her own choices” Well in our states visitation is not an OPTION for them to choose. She also has let SD12 lie to SO and say or pretend she is sick and can’t go. I am to the point where if she doesn’t want to be here then that is fine. Then leave us all alone and quite doing this crap your pulling over everyone. When you decide you want a relationship with your father or your sisters then let us know.

SO is afraid that the SD’s will go back to BM and tell them the ‘clause’. Well my thought is LET THEM. What does that have to do with anything that BM can control? It’s our vacation and our money we are spending and if we don’t think you deserve to go then you can’t make us take you along.