"What if I dont want to"
So tonight DH brings home groceries for the first time in months!... I think he might be feeling the fact that I am drifting away. He just doesn't realize it is probably beyond repair.
Anyway, I am upstairs in the bedroom and he comes in and yells for the boys (SS12 and BS10) to come and unload the groceries. They unload them, set them on the counter as usual....and then walk off. SS12 goes outside to shoot BasketBall. I didn't come down for 20 mins!!! The groceries sat there. So just as I come downstairs SS12 walks in the front door and sits on the sofa next to DH to watch Basketball Game. DH tells him to go help me put up the groceries and SS12 replies, "what if I dont want to?" DH responds with an ugly face, and SS12 jumps up and says "I was only kidding" and then begins to help me. I wanted to knock him upside the head and scream "NO YOU WERENT!" People dont say that sort of thing with out some truth behind it...it is just a veiled attempt to be passive aggressive towards others! He is learning that crap from BM!
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At least your SS reacts when
At least your SS reacts when you call him on it. My SS, if I asked him to put away the groceries he would shrug and walk away. Preteens are bound to start challenging authority figurers and seeing what they get away with. He tried saying "what if I don't want to" and didn't want to find out what his dad was going to do.
With my SS, he simply doesn't care. He does whatever he wants and ignores what Dh and I say.
Where was your DH in putting
Where was your DH in putting away the groceries? Dropping them off so the live-in-cook could take care of it?
IMO, the initial poor behavior was by your DH - way to go with showing the kids the RIGHT way to go about things. Everybody helps bring stuff in/put it up, not a drop-and-dash.
Of course, lippiness by teenagers shouldn't be tolerated either.
Why didn't DH put the items
Why didn't DH put the items away? Shopping is a 3 step process. You purchase the items, take the items home, then put the items away.
The fact that DH even went to
The fact that DH even went to the grocery store was a huge step.... but the only reason he went was to try and be nice since I have been ignoring everyone and hiding in the bedroom every day and night. I begin to think I am sinking into a slow and dismal depression...
you are absolutely right. PA
you are absolutely right. PA is sd19's middle name. unless she's hiding behind a phone or a computer (text and fb), then she's not passive at all, she lets all the bitch right out, but has no balls to do that in person.
any time she got called out on saying things she shouldn't, a snotty "i was only joking. God!" is exactly what she would say, too.
there will most likely come a
there will most likely come a day when i will let it all out. i say that because of how she constantly tries to imply to me and everyone else that i owe her a mother. she thinks because i am with her dad, i somehow OWE her something. she seems to think she is a part of our relationship somehow. because i don't give her what she thinks i should, i have no doubt that when her brat gets here, she will get worse and worse. as hard as pregnancy can be, raising a child is a lot harder, and she is not equipped in any way at all to do it properly. she'll be wanting more from me. and she'll probably get uglier and uglier about it the more desperate she gets. and i will come unglued.
i really don't know if anything i would say would actually sink in. i'm 90%positive she is unable to actually listen to anyone. but at least she will know that i truly don't like her and never will. i don't have to love her and adore her just because i'm with her dad. she doesn't think she needs to show a modicum of respect for me as her dad's gf, but i am supposed to give her a mother. :? just one more indication of how one sided she is.
i will never forgive her for what she did. she made it even worse by telling me i should "be over it by now and want to help her". :jawdrop: stupid bitch. i will NEVER be over it and i will never want to "help" her. (unless shoving her into traffic counts as 'helping' in some way). she can rot in hell as far as i'm concerned. i truly do not care about her at all. i don't care what happens to her. and i do not and never will feel bad for saying or feeling that way. most people don't embrace the person who showed blatant joy at the loss of your child.
thank you whimsey. she puts
thank you whimsey. she puts on a good face for other people. no one would spend 5 minutes around her and know she's a monster. i guess i'm just lucky because she saves all of that for me. and she does it VERY passive agressively, usually. even hearing how she talks to me wouldn't raise other people's eyebrows. but i know our history and i know exactly what she's doing. she thinks she's slick. i love having her blocked from contacting me. it's a great stress relief. i also think it's funny that fdh doesn't have much contact with her. she asked me if he hated her when she told me to tell him she's pregnant. (coward bitch). actually, he doesn't give a shit. cuz it's not our problem. i think she wanted him to be all upset because it would be attention, and it would make her feel like he really cares. no one cares. she wishes she was the center of everyone's universe, but she's not. it will be pretty funny when her baby is here and she realizes that NOTHING will ever be about her again. }:)