HELL
Well things are just much worse from my last blog..We had agreed my husband and I that his daughter had to move out by the end of the school year but unfortunately last night got worse as she proceeded to continue with the disrespect towards me. Her father heard when she answered back with a bad attitude and did nothing..When i approached him about it he said what's the point she's leaving anyway..I feel sorry for him for the fact that he cannot parent this lost soul. The kid is soo angry but there is no structure but unlike our son my husband will be tough with him (our son is 7 yrs old) while she is 17 yrs old..he also said the reason is because he raised our son and he didn't raise her she's too old to try to change her. I think it's just a poor excuse..as things got heated up he said he would talk to someone to take her in their house so she can be out by today which I would hope for but my husband is all talk and no action..he does not want to speak to me now since he says he's disappointed in me and her since we dislike each other and he had hoped we would be best friends. I just told him half of it is his fault for not setting any rules, boundaries and consequences. The result is a spoiled brat who knows how to be nice to all except her father's wife.. He had never heard her attitude until last night and I just let him know this is how she has been for the last 3 years only that he not witnessed it until last night (he was listening at the door) Sigh...i hope this all ends soon...
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Comments
He doesn't parent his kid and
He doesn't parent his kid and he's disappointed in you?
exactly because i didn't just
exactly because i didn't just take it and take it..Told him i'm not your mother. His mother accepts all things from her spouse and still there after 40+years. Just leaving it as is just need for her to move out..then he says don't complain then when I'm gone during my day off to spend time with her I just said no of course not you need to spend time with her you're her father.. I was just thinking please anything is better than her living there and causing stress for all of us . Not even our son wants to be around her , says she's very mean..
You don't have to be best
You don't have to be best friends. That is just a crock of shit. All you want is respect or civilness and good behaviour. He is allowing her to become a failure at life. This is about your home being a training ground. This is where you learn to behave ... deal with conflict ... learn life skills etc.All she had to do was be nice. Nothing amazing. Just NICE. How hard is that?
This is 100% at HIS feet for not parenting and being lazy. She is HIS failure. And that is dreadfully unattractive.
Why oh why, do they think we
Why oh why, do they think we can be best friends with their kids? WTH. I told my SO recently I will NEVER bond with your kids, they are too old for that. The best he can hope for is our just getting along when we are together. I think he got it, not sure.
Yeah I got exactly the same
Yeah I got exactly the same comparison between teen SKs who mainly lived elsewhere and our BSs, by my DH. Not only is the view that you can't continue to raise a teen pathetically misguided, but it's effectively a giant baby sulk for not having had custody of the older one and passive aggression towards the BM. You are not the BM, he shouldn't be punishing you in her stead. This behaviour in his household is his and SK's responsibility alone. Hopefully now he has actually seen the behaviour, the penny may start to drop gradually. People do sometimes change their opinions without yet admitting to it.
OMG do you live in my house?
OMG do you live in my house? Exactly what is happening here - DH's 18yo does not have a lick of kindness towards me and he never does anything about it. It is so frustrating and I don't know what to say or do to make him realize how much it hurts to always be put on the back burner and everything is turned around on me. I read somewhere that a father will always choose their daughter - really? If that is the case than why do we even marry these men? He says he wants us to have a united front but ignores my feelings and continues to allow the behavior. It is pure hell - I just do my own thing and let him dig his own grave.
As of yesterday she will be
As of yesterday she will be sleeping somewhere else and moving her stuff slowly..while cleaning out the room found a calendar where she was writing down all her antics with her friends which included her getting F'd up with friends the only thing I could imagine had to be drugs or drinking let my husband know and he was disappointed and at first said he was going to confront her but then said he will stay quiet and one of these days take her to be drug tested without letting her know at first until they get there.. Won't believe it til he actually does it but overall even though he will probably never admit to it I was right about her not being a nice person...so glad don't have to deal with her but will not let my guard down until all her stuff is completely moved out...
Changing the codes on the alarm system putting a security door on the front door . Yes that's how bad don't want her in the house anymore...