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1 month and 3 days to go...

IAmALady77's picture

So as most of you know, last June BM got a restraining order on me. It was absolute bullshit, I fought it and I lost.

Back story is SO's uncle was getting married and SO had volunteered to work the wedding (bartending and music). It was a Saturday night, before they had a CO in place so BM was still forcing him to take SD whenever she wanted and then using the "you don't love your daughter" nonsense.

he had been on the phone with her for HOURS trying to explain that he had prior engagements and could not just drop everything and take SD that night, to which he was called a liar and a POS ect ect.

Silly naieve me thought that if I just calmly explained to her the situation everything would be better Smile
LOL. It was better, for a full 24 hours. I talked to BM and she seemed nice. (this was our 2nd communication at this point) (first communication came via FB message when she tried to warn me about SO's non-existant genital warts before we were even dating, or friends for that matter).

She wanted to meet, I agreed to meet up with her the next day to meet in person and talk about SD since I had moved in with SO and I wanted her to meet me so she would be confortable with me being around SD. THAT Is IT.

The next day, I texted her and asked what time she wanted to meet up? Her reply was that if I ever texted her again she would be calling the police and this was my last warning.

Silly little me wondered what I could possibly have done to make her flip on me so I texxted her back asking what was wrong?

I get a call from the sherrif with a cease and desist 20 minutes later.

2 days later I am served AT WORK with a PPO.
I appealed it THAT DAY and got a court date.

we went to court and BM lied her ass off saying I texted her repeatedly threatening her life and her daughters life and that I am stalking her and it creeps her out that I am so obsessed and she just wants to be left alone LOL.

I tried to subpoena my phone records to prove that this WAS NOT true but they never came through, and I was so embarrased about being called out as a creepy lesbian stalker in court that I couldn't get my argument out well enough. The judge granted her PPO (better safe than sorry I guess from his point) and here we are almost a year later.

I would also like to point out that in the original petition, BM had checked off the "other" box and wrote in that I was not to be around during SO's parenting time with her "kid". The judge left that out in the order but still, that should have been transparent enough to her motives right?

My thing is now, I have for the past year been contimplating writing her a letter. A very nice non-threatening letter letting her know that I will not be putting up with her games anymore and to leave me the hell out of her issues. Or something like that, along with once again trying to extend the hand of cordiality so we can both get along for the sake of SD.

But the other side is I am thinking of just disengaging from her and not saying anything. Just ignoring her from here on out.

But the thing is, if I ignore her, her logic will be that I am afraid of her and she will then go on to taunt my character some more. SO either I put her in her place and she trys to get another ppo on me or I ignore her and I am a scared little "bitch" (she has called me this before) for not standing up for myself.

what would you guys do?

Comments

stepmomx2's picture

Just let it go. Who cares what she thinks? You know the truth as does your man. No good can come of keeping it going.

smdh's picture

Let her think what she wants. No matter what you say or do, she is going to think what she wants anyway. No amount of reason will change her thought processes. Crazy is as crazy does. You can't win this one. REally, she is a nutbag, why do you care if she thinks you're a scared little bitch?

Sd's BM thinks I am a lazy tramp with low self-esteem who is using dh. She can't get her head around the fact that I am perfectly comfortable with myself, work full time and supported myself since I graduated college. She projects all of her insecurities on to me. Do I care? nope. She is crazy. I don't feel the need to debunk her ridiculous idea of who I am. And who is she going to tell? Her crazy minions?

People who know you realize the truth. People who believe her without knowing you are minions. Don't give her the satisfaction. Embrace indifferene. It will drive her insane.

IAmALady77's picture

Ya, you guys are right. It's so frusterating knowing that I didn't do anything to deserve this. Thats a big thing for me is people attacking my character.

janeyc's picture

For God's sake never contact her again, you would be walking right into her hands, she would love it, you must disengage, she sounds like a nasty, crazy bitch, remember what comes around, goes around Wink

SMof2Girls's picture

Ignore her. Who cares what she thinks? Make sure your SO is very clear on what will be happening. Don't let her crazy infiltrate your life. Block her number from your cell phone if you can so there is no confusion or temptation down the road.

You are smart enough to recognize she's crazy, but naive enough to care about her logic? Just let it go.

IAmALady77's picture

*I would also like to point out that I have nothing against lesbians Smile It was just embarrassing to be portrayed as this crazy obsessive stalker, it came across as that my intentions were inappropriate in court. Just so you guys know Smile

B22S22's picture

I agree with everyone else -- disengage from the BM!

I did a long time ago and of all the things I have to put up with, being around or communicating with her is not one of them!

If she calls, I don't answer the phone. If she comes to the door, I make DH answer it. If she calls "needing" something and DH wants me to help, I tell him tough shit. He had to deal with her for 9 years after their divorce before I came along and he set some pretty bad precedents (letting her call the shots, ask for more $, have him buy their groceries, etc). She wasn't part of MY past, I refuse to live under her reign of terror.

TheBrightSide's picture

You can not reason with Crazy. You can not impose rational behavior on Crazy. Crazy doesn't negotiate. Crazy will not reason. Crazy has the maturity level of a 6 year old throwing a tantrum. Crazy's frontal lobe has not completely developed.

Don't contact Crazy.

IAmALady77's picture

Yes I know you guys are right. Just part of me didn't want to go down without a fight I suppose. I'm not going to talk to her so no worries! However, if she did show up at MY house I don't think I could stop myself from answering the door...in a bikini...with my hair and face done Wink