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I AM THE OUTSIDER

mindex's picture

Submitted by mindex on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 5:00pm

I feel that marrying DH was a HUGE mistake on my part and am considering separating.
I was married before for 12 years, divorced, and raised my kids by myself.
They are grown ups now with their own families.
Maybe I stayed alone too long, or maybe I didnt think this whole "re marraige" through,
but I feel like I am just being used for a second paycheck and a weekend maid.
Im tapped.
Emotionally and physically.
Both SD's age 16 and 20 live with us full time,their BM took off to live with her boyfriend out of state six months ago and we have not seen her since.And prior to that, DH had full custody because BM was basically homeless, sleeping a couple weeks at at time at various boyfriends homes.
I am spent.
I am the outsider, and I want my life back.

Comments

young step mom's picture

Submitted by young step mom on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 5:02pm

This made me sad. Im sorry dear you feel this way. Wish there was a magic way to make all this better :(((((

ThatGirl's picture

Submitted by ThatGirl on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 5:41pm

It's a difficult adjustment, huh? I was in a similar situation, divorced 10 years, sons on their own, and enjoying the extra time/money for a change. Then I fell in love with a man and ended up with 4 skids, three of them living with us 50/50. I seriously thought about running, but the two skids that were making things the most difficult eventually took off, and are not welcome to come back. I'm looking forward to the day when SS14 is out on his own, so that things settle back into a more normal way of life for me.

sonja's picture

Submitted by sonja on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 5:53pm

I bet! Once your done raising your own kids, who wants to do it all over again with some1 elses!?
You should be enjoying yourself and instead like you said youre the maid and a paycheck. If DH doesnt change things Id be packing up too!

buterfly_2011's picture

Submitted by buterfly_2011 on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 6:43pm

I'm so sorry. This is sad to me too. You are more then a maid. And more then money. I feel your pain as I feel this way many days too. I hope the both of us find strength to find happy again. Being the outsider is probably the most hurtful thing you can do to a person. I have felt this so many times. I truly hope you find your happy again.

Doubletakex3's picture

Submitted by Doubletakex3 on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 10:31pm

I once asked my therapist, "How do you know when it's truly time to leave?". Her reply: "When the bad consistently outweighs the good and you can't even remember what it felt like when it didn't." Her answer has stayed with me thru the years and has proven to be a good litmus test.

{{{{HUGS}}}}