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BM claiming she has never said anything bad about us to FSS

madison27's picture

FDH called BM last week to lay into her about what FSS had told us - that "mommy tells him Madison and FMIL are naughty and mean" and that he can be mean to us. Apparently her brainwashing backfired on her because not only is he doing this to us, he is now behaving that way to BM and her sisters, BM's mom, sister's boyfriends. Everyone, it seems like, except for FDH and FFIL, for whatever reason.

Here's the incident that got FDH so fired up that he decided to call BM about it: FDH is on second shift for work right now. He was running late one day last week and wouldn't have time to drop FSS off at BM's grandma's house (yes..BM's 80-something year old grandmother watches a 4 year old). FMIL said she would do it, which I objected to since FMIL had just twisted her ankle and is on crutches. There wasn't really another option though as FDH and I only have 1 car at the moment. Whenever we have to leave FSS4 with FMIL he throws a god awful fit, screaming at the top of his lungs, crying and whining, pinching, hitting - which is why I didn't want to leave him for her to handle with her injury.

Come to find out after we left, after FSS was finally done throwing his usual fit he sat next to FMIL hitting and kicking her bandaged leg. It got so bad that she moved over to the other couch. He followed her and continued hitting and kicking her bad leg. FFIL got home a little later and he ended up taking FSS to BM's grandmas. And on the way there, FSS told FFIL that "Grandma was naughty to me, she didn't take me to the park." FFIL repeatedly told FSS that grandma hurt her leg and was in pain, that's why she couldn't take him. FSS just kept saying that grandma was naughty to him.

Oh and of course when FDH talked to BM about things, she denied having ever said anything bad about any of us ever...Right. Her own aunt has told myself and FDH things BM has said about us to FSS. And there have been numerous times when FDH has been talking on the phone to FSS4 that BM will get on and tell FSS that "Daddy is a douche bag, daddy is dumb, daddy doesn't want you anymore, etc." If it's so easy for her to say those things to FSS about his own father, I can only imagine what she is telling him about the rest of us. No wonder this child has so many behavioral problems..

Comments

ms.blessed.n.distressed's picture

Im sorry but who gives a crap about what BM said. The real problem here is your horrible SS!!! I cannot believe you guys take him to his grandmas knowing how he is going to treat her!!! Why is this bratty ass child allowed to beat up his elderly grandma??!! I would've have wooped that kid so bad he would've NEVER treated anyone like that again!!! I'm sorry but BM is NOT to blame here. All of you are esp his dad(FDH) I was raised in a house where if I ever behaved like that my dad would've wooped me so bad I wouldn't have been able to sit for a month and my dad didn't spank us very often but somehow dads sure can put the fear of god into a child.. lol. I just cannot imagine ever allowing my child to treat my mother like that. I have read some horror stories here but this takes the cake. This is just disgusting. My grandma was my best friend in the world and I just cannot seem to understand how you all will allow this child to treat his grandmother this way.

simmons's picture

This is a FOUR year old boy we are talking about. Children that age are VERY easily manipulated. Especially when you have a mentally unstable mother who hates her ex more than she loves her child. Please do research on Parental Alienation Syndrome. It's horrible and it's happening NOW.

madison27's picture

Oh I trust me I was horrified when FMIL told me that...it's bad enough when he's throwing a fit and pinching her. But she volunteered to watch him. I think she's hoping that if she spends one on one time with FSS4, it will counteract the crap BM is filling his head with. This all started happening within the past couple months, after Christmas. BM had a major tantrum over the holidays and wouldn't let FDH see FSS for about a week or so, all because FDH didn't answer her phone call immediately.

What makes it even more sad is that FSS4 used to be really close to both myself and FMIL. All last summer and fall, we were the ones he would seek out to play with, and we'd spend hours and hours playing with him. But after the big blowup over Christmas, it's been going downhill.

And just for the record..I make no decisions whatsoever about FSS4's babysitting arrangements. IMO, that is completely up to FDH and his family, and BM and her family. I also do not do the disciplining - I'll give my opinion here and there to FDH but not much more than that, for the same reason I refuse to babysit him; I don't want the kid making up stuff about me and telling BM. I don't want to put myself in that position.

FDH didn't find out about FSS4 getting physical with FMIL until the next day, so the next time FDH got him (FDH has him twice a week and every other weekend, unless BM is in one of her moods) FSS got a lecture and had to apologize to FMIL.