I have decided to be as sweet as can b to my Skids-while at the same time treating them as I would the neighbor kids....not sure if that is considered fully disengaging or not-I'm still speaking to n playing with them....just have completely let go of all parenting n discipline rolls....or I'm trying to I guess....since they decide to play the "SM is mean to me n I don't know y she hates me...." card on both my husband n BM (not feeling the "darling" at the moment!!! Ha!) of course I see this as strictly manipulatory-because they r lil shots like that....my SS even told his therapist when he asken him y he was acting that way....point blank-SO THEY (mom n dad) WILL DO WHAT I WANT....n it works!!! How is it that a 9 year old can see n admit that...but the two adults cannot or will not??

Anyway-so my SS has had issues with bedtime....because he gets a WHOLE LOT of extra n one on one attention from which ever parent...n because they both let him....heaven forbid anyone but me put their foot down about a 9 year old throwing a screaming crying fit at the top of his lungs for 3 hours about going to bed....anyway-off track again! But he has bedtime issues as a sign of still having control n all out basically running both households! So at dinner he decides that he is going to say his stomach hurts so that he can go stay with his mom n tells his dad that he can just come pick him up in the morning for the fun thing we have planned tomorrow....

ONLY BECAUSE HE ASKED MY OPINION!!!! I told him to just take him home n DO NOT make him feel guilty about it....but that he needs to make a point that he has certain weekends he gets to see him-n if he chooses not to-then that is his choice-but that SS cannot in the same breath call him the next day crying about how much he lived n misses him-n that he certainly should not b allowed to blame all of his "issues" on dad not being around as much if he is "CHOISING" to not see him when he gets the chance....

So he leaves to drop him off-after 30 min pass I ask him if he's ok because she lives very close...he tells me not to b mad-but they talked n he's gonna stay....my husband basically threw a flipping temper tantrum like a damn child n GUILTED his son into staying with him!!!!!

I FREAKING WONDER WHERE ON EARTH HE PICKS UP THAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOR?!?!?!?!?!?!

Ugh!!! I'm SO frustrated n just down right livid right now honestly!! Why lord can I NOT just stop giving a shit??? OH YEAH! Because it's not fair to my kids to have two different sets of rules AND because it is affecting our household Damnit!!!! Sigh....I really am at a loss of what to do or how to act towards him and his kids....advice would help!