When will he leave me alone!!!
So My ex husband is active duty military, and is stationed\lives 900 miles away from our daughter. Since October when we now live miles and miles away. He is unable to do is everyother weekend visits with our 4 year old daughter. The CO states he can call at a reasonable time and talk with her. He calls but not to talk to her but to talk to me, he just keeps on and keeps on calling to speak with me. I have nothing to say to him. I've stated many times via email that if he has questions concerning our daughter submit them in an email and I'll answer or send pictures or report cards or whatever he is requesting. I've tried phone interactions with him but he starts yelling and cursing at me, and all that mess. I'll not put up with that! I've moved on and he just cant seem to deal with that. He's still trying to control me! I'm so frustrated! I called his chain of command this morning and talked with one of his higers to try to get his under control. My ex keeps threating me with court, and keeps saying I"m not doing right by not letting him exericse his parental rights because I moved to my home state. Where he lives is where the military stationed him, and after our divorce I moved back to my home state of Texas with my husband and his kids. My ex is from IL, and my lawyer said I didn't have to stay in the state I was divorced in so that's a mute point. I tried to get another PO on my ex because of the harassment but I didn't have anything recent on him personally threating my life so Texas woulnd't issue one. We had a PO for a year while I lived in GA, but it's now expired. I just want the harassment to STOP! I called his command back in Oct 2011 because he was calling at 2am clearly not times to speak with our daughter. How do I make it stop!?! I feel a lone with this problem! I want to go live my life, but I feel so beating down with the harassment from my ex.
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I called his BDE CSM, and got
I called his BDE CSM, and got a military no contact order placed with specified calling times in place, unlike our divorce decree which only states “call at appropriate times”. I also called and made a police report to add to the last time he did this sort of thing. My lawyer told me once before to “document, document” I have been practicing handing the phone directly to my daughter. I don’t talk to him because I know how it’ll end up.
Maybe you could have it set
Maybe you could have it set up where when he needs to communicate with you, he can do so by email, & when he wants to talk to your daughter, he can call the phone. When his number shows up on the phone, let your daughter answer the phone & when she's done talking hang it up. That way, he has access to his daughter, & you have proof of anything he communicates to you.
Why did you move your kid
Why did you move your kid away from her father? If he had court ordered EOWE visitation, you have violated it by moving the child out of state. I am not surprised he wants to discuss that with you and is threatening court action.
It always strikes me as odd that BMs such as yourself are surprised when they move a child away from their father, preventing any regular contact with the child, and the father is upset and enraged about it. Your daughter is just as much his child as she is yours.
What? NO WAY! Bm's get to
What? NO WAY! Bm's get to move the kids as far away from daddy as they want and continue cashing the CS checks. Duhhhh...
Op, you took his kid away from him and you think he's harassing you? Sheesh, I'd be pissed, too! Your daughter isn't your PROPERTY.
He is military. He already
He is military. He already moves once every two to three years - more often in some cases. Neither OP nor XH are residents of the state they lived in at the time of divorce. The OP simply moved back to her home state. What would you like OP to do? Move every two or three years as the military dictates to her EX-HUSBAND so that he has the luxury to continue to see the kid EOWE. They're divorced; the army isn't going to pay for her to move. Also, there's an employment issue; if the longest you've worked at any job recently is two or three years, you look like a job hopper. So, by your logic, OP should be destitute and constantly living in places she has absolutely no support (military apouses usually at least have their DH/DW) just so XH can see kid EOWE. No way.
No, the vast majority of military fathers in divorce cases (and I'm surprised OP's XH doesn't/didn't know this) get custody of their children summer breaks from school, and every other Christmas, TG, and Spring break. In most cases, the gaining parent is responsible for transport.
Your clearly not affiliated
Your clearly not affiliated with the military or have no concept of that life style. He tried to kill him self and was violently abusive during our marriage! He has been stationed, since our divorce, 2 different places in that short amount of time. To hell if I’m going to follow him around the blasted country because of his career! I have a career and a life to live. If I wanted to follow him around then I would still be married to his sorry self. By the way I have legal paperwork stating in my custody agreement that this man signed that I am able to move out of state whenever I choose. As far as regular contact you commented on. He calls her on the phone whenever he chooses or if she asks then I allow her to call, unfortantly he chooses to try to contact me not his daughter. It was HIS choice not to come get her for spring break, coming up, and Christmas break either! Just thought I'd clear that up.
The other posters have
The other posters have provided you with some great ideas, some I wouldn't have thought of myself (disposable cell phone with voicemail, brilliant). That being said, screen his calls. Do not speak to him on the phone, period. Excluding life and death emergency email is the best way to communicate any parenting concerns, particularly since then things are documented. Nobody can have control over you if you don't give them control. Stop giving him control.
OK, your CO states that you
OK, your CO states that you are able to move. So that is a moot point for all the bashers.
What does the CO state regarding communication about the girl?
Our BM was vindictive and verbally harassed my DH. We got it written into the court order a No Contact Order. She was forbidden to call unless it was an emergency. I am not saying she never broke this order, but it DID cut down on the amount of craziness we had to deal with dramatically.
You may not be able to get an RO on him BUT check out the harassment laws in your state. I believe that as long as he has a way to contact you regarding your daughter (email), you can tell him to no longer call X number or you will file charges for harassment on him.
If he has a problem with how visitations are set up, he needs to go through the court system rather than attempt to bully you into giving in to what HE wants.
I'm sure your current hubby is none too pleased about this either.