It has been two weeks since the my Dh's meltdown. We are finally talking because he put himself in therapy. It took 3 days for him to calm down and he realized he messed up big time.

He has been feeling major, major guilt about how he reacted. He completely ignored Ss's tearful apology for chatting online with a stranger. Then Ss came to me upset and told me he just wanted to tell someone about the trip he was going on with Dh (which Dh cancelled). I tried comforting him but I guess he hates me too. I had a good long cry over it.

Ss stopped talking the little he did, stayed in bed for 3 days straight, only getting up to use the bathroom or go to school. We got calls from the school saying Ss was not mentally present and was staring blankly at a wall all day. We told all of this to the therapist who said Ss sounds suicidal. So we had to remove the doors in Ss's room in case he decided to try something. I think that was Ss's breaking point. He woke up the day after we removed the doors and told us, "I give up. I AM a piece of sh**. I'll do whatever you want." He was referring to when my Dh called him a piece of crap in anger. My Dh is just so guilty right now. He wants sleeping pills again but he is scared Ss will get into them like last time. He tosse and turns all night.

Ss now just lies in bed when he is not in school. He really has given up. We started forcing him to eat with us at the table and he agreed without even trying to resist. I wish he did resist. Now it just feels like herding a zombie. It has been very draining to eat meals with him. We can cut the tension with a knife. Then my son made a joke about how it was funny that Ss pees sitting down like a girl. I immediately send my son away without dessert but the damage was done. Ss face turned red and he was close to crying. He excused himself without finishing his dinner. My Dh put the door back on his washroom within 30 mins after that. So we have reconsidered the eating together for a few days. My son will be writing apology letters for many days.

My Dh and I have not even kissed since the huge blow out. I have been very tempted to run away from everything and go to Mexico. Its too bad I have kids. I feel terrible even saying that. I think we should try couple's therapy. Ss's therapist wants US in some his sessions. Ss is going to absolutely hate it. But at his current state, I don't think he would even fight it. Does it ever get better?