WWYD?
i'm getting a lot of additional funds in here shortly, almost 5g's more than i expect on a regular basis (not tax return) so i'm taking part of that to get dd9 and sd14 (who lives with us full time) clothes and gear for softball (sd14 is just starting and dd9 needs new gear) however, the weekend is better for us to go, and week days are slammed with work, school and helping my mom with my gpa who was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
my draw back is i'm NOT buying sd15 stuff simply cause i'm dropping a good 500+ on dd and sd EACH + we bought her stuff at the begining of the year (she lives with bm) overloaded bm's car with school clothes-to the point she had to throw out clothes and refuses to send sd14's clothes to our house now that she lives with us.
so where i'm stuck a)just tell sd15 to suck it up and take sd14 and dd9 on a shopping spree (lets sd go too, but only knowing that she will not be coming home with any packages) b) have dh take her out on a daddy daughter date-she'll still figure it out that i'm dropping a few hundred on them and not her c) take them shopping and not give a damn if sd15 likes it or not d) try to find time during the week so that it's guarenteed not to rub it in to sd15
what ever she see's me spending she'll go home and tell bm, it's none of bm's business what *I* am spending out of my own paycheck-so i realy don't want her to go if that means staying home with dh all day while we are out
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on any issue like this, i
on any issue like this, i usually tell her "well go ask your mom"
i mean i DO take her shopping every now and then but since we sent all those clothes with them, and bm refuses to return it, NOTHING i mean NOTHING leaves my house-and i perfer to just surprise her with no $$ tag on it so she can't repeat what we're spending on them
even dh's side knows if they give them something on OUR time, it stays with us cause it WONT come back so yeah, they go behind his back, but that's their choice.
If you'd like to come
If you'd like to come shopping with us, you're welcome, but I'm not buying anything for you. You live with BM, that's her job.
my BIGGEST issue with that,
my BIGGEST issue with that, is she likes to stand right beside me (no matter who is there) and stares at the "total" and bm has comented on how much we spend and complained about it.
What gives BM the right to
What gives BM the right to even comment on how much you spend!!!! Seriously doesn't it anger anyone else that these women think they have the right to dictate what YOU want to spend with YOUR money!!! OMG if I was some off you SM I would be in jail and the said part is that I am not a fighter but they would have snapped me and I would have lost all sensible part of me!!
usually when she does
usually when she does comment, i'll go get my hair or nails done just to make her bitch some more }:)
imo part of that is on sd15 cause she repeats EVERYTHING. so i'll do stuff just to make her go home and repeat it. i'm just not in the mood for it this time.
bm even commented (per sd14 and 15) that she "can't compete against us because she doesn't make the kind of money i do"-i do make good money for my age-BUT i've also been at the same job for almost 6 years and not even 30 yet-and half way to a bachelor's and looking at programs to start masters after i graduate.
bm decided to sit her lazy ass at home while her xh (my dh) worked, so yeah she's NOT going to make much because she has no record-not MY problem
that's an idea it is only
that's an idea
it is only dictating whether i take sd15 or not-sd14 and dd are still getting a shit load dropped on them
Then don't even let her come.
Then don't even let her come. She can spend the day with her father while you take the other girls shopping. I hate skids that pay attention to what we spend. It's none of their damn business.
i know, even when we are
i know, even when we are grocery shopping she's there staring at the $$ and how much we are spending and even sometimes comments, i make her go sit on the bench where she can't see..........why i hate going shopping with her there, I KNOW she does it cause bm wants to know
^^^^^ like a lot^^^^^
^^^^^ like a lot^^^^^
YOU'VE GOT IT!!!!!! I
YOU'VE GOT IT!!!!!! I agree!!
the funniest thing though,
the funniest thing though, bm's dh is pending criminal charges for felionisouly pointing a firearm. he's been back in their home for a while, but i've known about it for about 2 years now (trial in march). of course when we ask "where's sd?" they both answered "don't know" sd finally revealed after moving in with us that he was back and is scared of him and doesn't want to go back as long as he's there (understandably-so bm is cooperating and making him leave while sd14 is there-as far as we know) and we were having a talk a few weeks later and sd15 "i don't know why sis is scared of sf" i jumped in "HE'S A CRIMINAL FACING CHARGES SD15, SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE SCARED!!!" her: "how'd you know?" me: "because it's public info once someone has been arrested, i've known for some time and it's not hard to find public info, yes i searched cause he scares me too! i'm not as stupid as you obviously think i am and i'm sure your mom would want to know if it were me, and she'd have every right to know"
even bm avoided the subject of her dh being home when dh asked about it but confessed to him being home (not to the charges)
Well you are getting the
Well you are getting the other girls things that they NEED for softball right? SD15 obviously doesnt need them. Just tell her if she lived with you then you would be more than willing to take her shopping for her things that she NEEDS too. AS it is, you already took her shopping and she chose to leave all of her things at BMs so its her problem. At 15 I think it is HER responsibility to keep her things in the place where she wants to have them at her disposal...your house or BMS.
well, we had sent a lot of
well, we had sent a lot of stuff home cause in the house we were in, we dind't have room for them and i couldn't see buying clothes they would grow out of before having a chance to wear them any way so that's why they went home, but we DID tell bm "go through take what you need for them and send what you don't back" she sent over half to the red box according to the kids. so screw it bm can provide clothes for sd15, and she can carry them back and forth as she does any way and she can just keep clothes for sd14, we don't send anything but the kid (i know double standard)
#1 - go shopping when she's
#1 - go shopping when she's NOT at your house so she won't even know about it. It's not her damn business what you do with your money anyway. The god damn NERVE!
guess i could just get their
guess i could just get their sizes and shop a little here an there during the week, but the sporting gear, they have to be there for that, so we can get the right sizes, etc
How often is she at your
How often is she at your house? Can you take the girls when she is not there? It just seems that would make your life much easier.
eowe, and yes i thought about
eowe, and yes i thought about during the week to avoid any "issues" but here's my week schedule
mon-nothing if homework is done-could go here
tues-class til 10
wednesday-church-could skip and shop
thursday-at mom's helping with grandparents til undisclosed time
friday-either getting kids for weekend or droping off for weekend
also i live an hour out, so if i did do any shopping during the week-it would have to be me only so we wouldn't have to "rush"
kwim?