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BM's friend has a problem with My declaration. Oh well...

LaMareOssa's picture

Sorry for being a blog hog, but I really I gotta vent about this. It's irritating as all hell!

So, DH served BM a few pounds of paperwork..All his evidence against her. BM's friend read all her paperwork w/BM. DH gets a call from this friend saying that she is so happy that DH has stepped in because she feels, even though her and BM have been friends forever, that BM really is unfit. She goes on to tell DH that she is sorry for everything BM has caused and that she had no idea she was enabling BM. She said that she had no idea BM was really crazy, BM has always hid it from her and that BM always played the victim and that her and her husband (BM's friends) have been taken for fools. She said that BM has been lying to her for years and she had no idea. FYI..BM and her kids have been living with these friends for months because BM's parents kicked her out because of violence.

Anyway...BM's friend tells DH that "While [SD] lived with them, SD always showered as much as everyone else" I wrote about how SD can never remember the last time she bathed while with BM and that SD's hair is always visibly dirty. HMMMMMMMMM
DH responds by asking why it was the friends job to make sure SD was bathing. The friend said "Well, you know [BM] wasn't there, so I had to make sure things were getting done."

UM WHAT?! Excuse me? Run that by me again Please!!! Evidently for the past 10 months, BM's kids have been living with this friend(which DH knew) BUT he DID NOT know BM wasn't living there as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The friend said BM told her that BM had already informed DH of this! Yeah right. No way. BM never once told DH that they had moved in, he found out from SD. Not once did SD ever mention the fact that her mom was NOT Allowed to live there.

The friend said that BM's children were always welcome in their home but BM was not because of her emtional instability and known anger problem. BM's friend has been raising BM's 9, 12 and 14 year old children for 10 months!!!!! OMG

DH said the friend sounded like she wasn't willing or ready to put this new IMPORTANT info on paper for him. He said that when their custody battle goes to trial, he will subpoena BM's friends.

Comments

LaMareOssa's picture

He did ask..she didn't come out and say "no." But she was evasive with her answer. He did say that he will ask again and thats when he told me that he will supeona them to court. I think she is worried about getting too involved in the case.

Kilgore SMom's picture

I would get her on the phone and record the conversation. Or better yet be in your lawyers office and let DH call the friend so the lawyer can hear. Did DH pay BM cs while the kids where living with the friend and did the friend get the money? Make a list of the question to ask friend. Bm has just sunk her a**. I wonder why SD hasn't said anything? If BM wasn't there then it must be friends fault that the kids aren't getting taken care of, right? Not sure friend is telling the truth. Chances are friend will cover for BM. At one point friend acts like her and BM are friends and have been for a long time and that BM is just keeping secrets. Then she sayes Bm doesn't stay their because she has anger problem and is emotionally unstable. Not sure how to take that.

LaMareOssa's picture

I have told DH that he really can't trust anyone right now. I know it sounds horrible and paranoid, but it's true. I do believe BM's friend though, for some strange reason. It's hard not to believe that her friend is just as crazy as BM, but I'm not crazy and I have some psychotic(exaggerating) friends.

Yes, this woman has been friends with BM for years. DH even knows her from way back when, but I know the friend will do what she has to protect her own children..and that is not allowing BM to stay in her home, but she has a big heart and will help a child/ren in need.

BM's friends seems like a really good person. I honestly believe that she wants what is best for her and all of BM's kids. As it stands right now, BM's friend is still taking care of BM's other two kids MOn-Fri so they can remain in their school. On the weekends they go to BM's parents house.

Yes, DH was paying child support during all these months. He never NOT PAID..grrr...except for Feb. where his CS was stopped.

Yes, if SD was dirty, it was the friends fault. But in the end, it's BM's fault for not making sure SD was being taken care of. SD didn't tell DH because she knows (unfortunately) that what her mom is doing is Wrong, and SD wants to protect her mother.
Now I know why SD is so hooked on seeing her mom...SD NEVER really sees her mom, so yeah any child would want to see their mom if mom was absent all the time.

DH had a feeling something wasn't right because BM's friend was doing the drop offs and picks up for his visit. He questioned BM, but BM lied about where she was. He didn't question the friend(he should have) and the friend never said anything because she thought DH knew what was really going on. BM had lied to the friend telling her that DH was up to date on all the latest news.