Reading all your posts I often think of how far I have come with all the BM SS11 drama. Some posts make me reminisce of the similar problems I had and some post (those who have been with S0 for over 10 years) make me afraid because I am always looking for things to get better. Today I thought and decided to share in my experience of my first interaction with BM. Feel free to post your first interaction. I hate my SS11 BM. When we first met I figured we would never get along. I think it’s because of our strong personalities. I feel she wants to have a huge control of DH and I am not having it. I remember the first time we really had interaction. My DH threw SS11 a birthday party at MIL house. BM was upset that I was there! At the time I was his girlfriend and my BS and SS got along so it would be natural that we were invited. I had been up all night making a platter for the birthday party which I bought over. When BM sees me she comes and tells me that she doesn’t know why I was there and that my DH did not want me there nor did she. I was extremely offended, I had no previous conversation with her, we have seen each other before but to my knowledge there was no hard feelings. I was caught of guard and told her well I was invited and this is not your house for you to throw me out off. I went to DH and asked him and he said he never said that, and that he would speak to her. I think he should have done it in front of me. I was at the party interacting with my DH friends, every once in a while he would come over to see how I was doing (I am not clinging and I know he was hosting a party so I didn’t expect him to be by my side). On one of the rare occasions he was sitting with me (no lie maybe 5 minutes) she came and yelled at him that there was a party going on and that he should be mingling with other guests not just with me. I was in shock, like holy crap this is crazy!!! My sister who was coming out of town was coming in. I was going to pick her up, DH said he would go with me since his Mom and Sister where there they would cover. He didn’t want me to go alone (I also think he wanted to discuss what had been going on I was really in surprise and shock). He goes and tells BM he was stepping out to pick up his Best Friend (who didn’t have a car)! HE LIED TO HER! Like if he was afraid to get in trouble! She said okay, I acted like I did not hear anything. When we got to the car he started calling BF and told him he had to come, and that he was going to pick him up. His friend said he couldn’t but he insisted to please come (like he was afraid). Friend made arrangements and he was able to come. Anyway, when he hung up I told DH (BF at the time) that although we had a great time I thought we should put an end to our 5 month relationship. I told him that I was not comfortable with the complicated relationship he had with BM and that I did not want to deal with the drama. I told him that as he could see everyone knew there place in my life, I have no issues with my BS father or his girlfriend (in fact we had all just been together for my BS birthday with no drama) and that I expect to be the same with any relationship I am going to. I told him I would never dare dream of doing everything to my BS father’s girlfriend that BM had done to me. Basically I broke up with him. Poor guy started crying. He said he really liked me and how I upheld myself and that he knows he has problems because basically he lets BM do whatever for sake of SS (guilty dad syndrome). We have been together for 7 years so I took him back, but every now and then I look back and think of what could have been, and how different my life could have been had I stuck to my instincts. 7 years later and while it’s 90% better I still think of what could have been. And to conclude the rest of my day with BM, when we got back and she saw my sister she let him have it even though DH, best friend was there. She insisted in the middle of the party that he, SS and her go to a separate room together to open gifts. She also refused to give my BS or nephew and niece a goodie bag (which to I replied loudly to my BS you don’t need those cheap goodie bags you got better things at home). And she also had her sister threaten me to kick my ass, or they would make comments like I can’t get drunk today because I have to kick that bitches ass!! Anyway that was my first interaction, and yes things got even worse as time went by. What I learned is that she will never change, who had to change was DH and he had to put his foot down, which he does better now, but not to the extent I want.