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cuppie's picture

Submitted by cuppie on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 8:30pm

Here's my story. When my husband and I first got together he had his daughter all except 2 days of the week. After about a month or 2 his daughters mom's found out about me and started demanding more time with her. She didn't like the idea of another woman being around her daughter but yet she found it perfectly okay to have another man around her as she had started seeing her now husband around the same time. As time has gone on my step-daughter and I have grown further apart. I was hoping that now that her father and I have a new baby things would get better, but have found that they are worse. I have found that a lot of the complications my step-daughter and I have revolved around her mother and the fact that my husband refuses to give her any type of discipline while she's here because she is only here 4 days a month now. My biggest beef with her is her laziness. I tell her every weekend when she puts her clothes in the laundry to make sure they are right side out, and I get EVERYTHING inside out. She knows she has to clean her room before returning to her mothers but yet it still looks like a bomb went off in it.
Yesterday was the big one, and I blew! My husband got a dog for the kids for christmas. An animal I REALLY DID NOT want. He told her about it before Christmas and she was so happy. I told her she needed to help take care of it when she is here because i didn't want any part of it. So yesterday she comes down the stairs after getting out of bed, and I ask her to take the dog out, she walks right past me to the kitchen to get a drink and take her medication (she has severe ADD). So i didn't say anything at that point. Once she got her pill and a drink i asked her to just keep an eye on her brother for 2 seconds so i can grab the laundry basket from upstairs. I come back downstairs and she starts going back up to her room, and say no you need to take the dog out. I get this big attitude (that she had been warned she better not give me this weekend) and says "i will". I damn near back-handed her!! On top of all of the attitude, she isn't showering or putting clean undies on after a shower (gag). I am at my breaking point and have told my husband that she isn't welcome here anymore if she can't get her shit together. I'm sick of arguing about her. I feel horrible for saying that and I know it hurts his feelings but he never backs me up!

Comments

bestwife's picture

Submitted by bestwife on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 9:16pm

I wouldn't worry about the inside out clothes - just give them back to her (IF you are washing them) in a big ole jumbled up pile of however she gave it to you. How old is she? Personally I wouldn't touch her skanky stuff.

Wishitwasdifferent's picture

Submitted by Wishitwasdifferent on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 8:32am

I would STOP doing her laundry, I used to wash the filthy clothes SD came in, press them and send her home clean in them BUT not I just leave them, pants and all. We have a small stock of clothes at our house that she can wear if she wants but she chooses to wear dirty crap and seeing as Dad isn't that bothered about, I take the attitude now, why should I care? She is not my responsibility and as SD always reminds me, I DO WHAT I WANT. Good, you do that.

If I ever have a child of my own, they will be cared for immaculately, what a differnce they will be.

cuppie's picture

Submitted by cuppie on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:21pm

My SD is 10 1/2 years old. My only problem with not doing her laundry is the fact that we don't keep very many items here for her and I refuse to send clothing from here to her mothers as it never comes back in the condition it left. Every time I have sent clothes from our home to her moms we either never get them back or they come back ruined (stains or torn), so i can't simply NOT do it because she has to go back to her moms in something lol.
I have decided to not turn her clothes right side out and give them back to her the way she has given them to me but rather than her getting the clue I seem to be getting EVERYTHING inside out now (I think she is doing it to make me mad).
I have threatened about the dog going to another home as well, but it seems to fall on deaf ears.. She is under the assumption she can do whatever she wants while she is here, but as I said that is because Daddy lets her. I told him last weekend that I don't want our son around her because she is a bad influence and I don't want him being around someone who is being so dirty. Boy did ever add to fight we were already having over her! I have gone so far as to tell him when she is here, my son and I won't be. The other things that is irritating me right now is that my hubby gave her the bigger of the 2 bedrooms (besides the master)when we moved into our town house. She is here 4 days a month....why should she get the big room? (For now okay...my little guy is only 11 months old and doesn't need a big room but later he will). I told hubby she is not staying in that bedroom once my son is out of his crib. He just tries to ignore me.
Hubby and I have a good relationship (when she isn't around) and I'm terrified that our marriage is going to end simply because of her (which I don't want because of our son and hopefully another baby in the next year or so).
I'll try not doing the laundry we have here and see if that gets through to her.
Thanks for your help everyone Smile