Hi,
I found this site about 3 weeks ago, and have been following it since.
I love this site and all the stories everyone shares. It has validated me and empowered me. Thank You to everyone.
I have lived with my husband for almost 6 years now, although we just married last year. We have a 4yr old bd and he has a 16yr old son. My situation has been a little bit different as I have been arguing for years that we have a "step son", "blended family" situation/issue. The ss16 had for years been diagnosed with ADHD. I had always stated he does not have ADHD. - Ex. would be everytime his father would step out to smoke, would be when he "had impulse control"...very cleary did not have ADHD. Anyhow, we have been going through all the same problems as many of you. We have ss16 every other weekend. All throughout I have heard that he has "problems" and I need to be more lenient. Now within the last 6 months all his doctors (and there are many) say he was misdiagnoed, he does not have ADHD, but has high function Autism. (and everything else N.O.S.)
I have been somewhat disengaged since summer, and about 3 weeks ago, I became fully disenegaed. I will no longer stay in any room with ss, not even for dinner. His last weekend Dh and ss do not like this, and all the counselors are wondering why. It may be helpful to know, that I have only talked 2x, and DH request, to ss's counselors. BM does not and will not speak to me. We have never had issues togheter although she and DH have minor ones. I have alwasy been asked by everyone, through my DH, about wwhat I should do, how I should be that would help ss and his "problems." I am done with that. DH has been informed, if a counselor or BM, or SS, want something from me, they need to speak to me. I do exist, and I will know longer be treated like a puppet.
I have been pointing out some of the items I read on here to DH and stating that these are ss's issues, not "autism, nor NOS items". We both also bought the book Stepmonsters, which I have begun reading, (still waiting for DH to begin.)
Anyway, I wanted to introduce myself, and sorry if this is rambling, out of sequence, or vague; I am not the best at typing