Extra days....
SOs EX as I've noticed, always asks to switch weekends so that we have the skids every.single.long.weekend. I've pointed this out to SO, but either he doesn't care, or doesn't notice it like I do. Next month is a provincial holiday. BMs office will still be open, but the skids daycare won't be. So OBVIOUSLY she asked SO to watch the skids. SO has to drive an hour each way to go to a different city to watch the kids for the day.... WHY IS HE PAYING EXTRA FOR DAYCARE!?!?!?? It suprised me she didn't ask him to take the skids for the whole weekend as she usually does. Then SO can ask me if it's okay (knowing full well that I don't want the skids around extra time but I've never ever said no to him getting his skids).
I'm just mad because it seems that "every second weekend" or "only 2 days every 14" as SO simply put it as we just started dating (sugar coating it obviously) IT IS SOOOO MUCH MORE THAN HE SAID IT WOULD BE!!! Weeks at a time over Christmas, spring break and the summer.... every long weekend and holiday in between. We might as well get the skids full time and enjoy the perks of child support!!! We wouldn't see them any more or less that way if we did it the way BM does by throwing them in daycare and at babysitters every waking hour of every day and weekend.
I've got my cash for groceries all ready to go, but I'm not going shopping until AFTER the skids are here otherwise SO will use everything I've bought and not think to go spend his money on more because that will be after his skids leave and he won't put 2 and 2 together that they actually eat and use stuff!!
It was me and SOs second anniversary a couple days ago.... he knows how I feel towards his kids. I've been brutally honest from the very beginning. As it was, I took the weekend off and we planned a day of shopping for the 2 of us and a day together at home. For him to even ask if we could go watch his kids play soccer made my blood boil!!! I'm all for parent support at sporting events. I love that he wants to be involved... but go on a different day dammit! They play every weekend!! Don't pick a day that I took off work to want to go (with me there) to watch the greasy kids play soccer!! I DON'T WANT TO, I AM NOT INTERESTED!! AT ALL!!
I feel once again I need to point out that the kids are good. It's just how my SO reacts to them, teaches them, ignores them, coddles them... all at once!! That as well as the fact that I don't want to have kids around. It's not my life.
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And before ANYONE thinks it's
And before ANYONE thinks it's good advice to say "you knew what you were getting into before you got into it".... SAVE IT. That is not helpful or advice. It just pisses me off. I DID NOT know what I was getting into or I clearly WOULD NOT have gotten into it!!!
I see both sides. All I can
I see both sides. All I can say is to count your lucky stars that you do not have them full time. And never think it can’t/won’t happen. It has happened to many on here. My SS was 15-16 when he and BM moved away, so I thought it was ok to marry /live with, my SH. (SO at the time) . Well, just a few months after wedded bliss, guess who want to move in with us?! You guessed it!! SS.
However, my SS was older and it was only for two years so it was not too awfully bad. Maybe just try to thank your lucky stars that it is only part time?
I'm not sure if I can count
I'm not sure if I can count my lucky stars that it's only part time. Part time is still too much.... or at least a heck of a lot more than he let on!!! SO knows that no matter what the reasons his kids would come live with us would be.... I'd move out. Under no circumstance do I want to live full time with HIS kids. I've told him that pretty much from our second date. Maybe even the first date. He pursude me. I was okay with my life before him. He told me how often and rarely he had his kids. We had a mutual friend that was emailing between us, so I finally added him on facebook to skip the middle man... and I told him in probably one of my first messages about how I didn't want kids and how they were pretty much a deal breaker... he went on about how little he had them and how they would NEVER live with him full time... I was honest from the start... He wasn't.
I know he wants to see them more and misses them. That's what makes it so hard probably for most step parents!! Finding a balance!! I want them less if at all and he wants them more maybe even full time.
Balance. Ah.... how I wish we could find you.