Guilt: My feelings for skids change EVERY HOUR

Generally speaking, I love the skids. I have known SS2 for his entire life, and I've known SS5 since he was 2. Overall, they are great kids and I have a MUCH better step situation than most people.

However, I have noticed that my "immediate" feelings toward them change several times a day.

I am usually annoyed with them in the morning because they are mopey and whiny and cranky. Then they decide to cuddle because they're tired, and I'm totally in love with them. Then we get into a food battle over breakfast or lunch, and I'm back to annoyed. Then they say something funny or want to play with me, and I'm back to adoring them. Then they get into a fight and I'm back to annoyed.

It is a roller coaster like this every single day, and by the time they go to bed I am completely exhausted and completely fed up.

I have also noticed that the degree of nonsense I encounter from other adults regarding the kids affects the way I feel about them, which is really not fair. My mom spoils the kids nonstop and constantly interferes, and as a result I end up feeling more annoyed with the kids for some reason. Whenever BM is being a pain in the a$$ I feel more annoyed with the kids.

Does anyone else experience this? Is there any way to curb my emotional reactions to this whole situation?

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Thanks. I was sorta hoping

Thanks. I was sorta hoping that was the case. I am always evaluating my feelings and interactions with the kids. The drive me up the wall sometimes but I cant imagine life without them. I just feel like I spend an unreasonable amount of time feeling irritated about the skids or the way somene is treating the skids.

thanks for responding. i am

thanks for responding. i am really glad to hear that even biokids can drive parents nuts on a regular basis. i always worry that im being an evil stepmom.

I feel like that with my own

I feel like that with my own kids sometimes. LMAO

I think it's pretty normal. I'm ALWAYS annoyed with skids, but I know not all of it is their fault, some of it is def their mothers doing, I NEVER express in their presence I am annoyed with them.

"SO gets more annoyed and

"SO gets more annoyed and infuriated with his own kid than I ever do!"

^^^THIS.

DH snaps at the kids pretty regularly. It would upset me except that they usually are baiting him when it happens and have done something against the rules two or three times.

But if I'm ever upset with the kids, I feel like it's a big deal and I'm being mean and un-maternal. The emotional baggage of being a step is so overwhelming.

This is an interesting

This is an interesting question, and it sort of depends on the situation.

I almost never discipline the skids when their dad is around. I usually just tell him what's going on, and he handles it.

So, if my friend were present and knew what the child did, and I snapped at the kid, then I would feel pretty bad unless the bad behavior was some sort of violence.

I'd actually feel bad for snapping at anyone, skids, friend's kids, and adults included. It strikes me as disrespectful.

I haven't actually snapped at the kids for anything except violence. That one always gets me, and I'm working on reacting more calmly (they are always intent on killing each other when they get back from a stay with BM).

However, I would not feel bad about letting a friend's child know I was upset with them for bad behavior in my house or on my property. That's what gets me. I feel like I'm being mean if either of the skids thinks I'm upset with them. Whenever I do discipline them, I try to make it look like simple protocol. It's just the rules, and I have no investment in their behavior, but I do have a responsibility to uphold the rules of the household.

I'm not sure if that's the right way to go about things, but it makes me feel less vulnerable to criticism from outsiders.

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