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Dragonflyo226's picture

Submitted by Dragonflyo226 on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 1:29pm

Maybe if I found this site sooner, maybe if there was more out there on being a step,maybe, maybe, maybe things would be different, but it is what it is.

I now find myself trying to figure out how I'm going to say good-bye to my best friend, and how to make peace with his not saying the things that would have made such a huge difference in our relationship. So, I am going to say to you those things that I needed to hear and hope that it helps you to know that someone notices even though we've never met.

You are amazing. You welcomed not only a person into your life, but also took responsibility for their child\children. That is an incredibly selfless act. You offer love, kindness, and understanding even when they reject you. You hold out hope that things will change regardless of never being given an indication that they will. Your hearts are huge, and you should be proud. You give not because you have to, but because you choose to.

I can't imagine a more difficult position to be in, starting out with so much love and hope in your heart, and things not turning out anything like you thought they would.

For those of you who continue hanging in there, you have my utmost respect. For those of you who admit defeat, and move on know that you didn't fail. You did the best that you could only to find that your best would never be good enough, that onus belongs to the person that you're leaving, because they never took the time to stand in your shoes.

I'm sure I'll still be around, checking in. But I just wanted you to know that I appreciate the advice I have been given, and wish you all the best of luck!

Comments

Emerald's picture

Submitted by Emerald on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 4:16pm

Well stated HelpMeeeee! We are in this together! I am so glad I found this place.. I thought I was losing my mind until I came here and saw I am not alone!

msc1120's picture

Submitted by msc1120 on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 2:40pm

((((((HUGS)))))) I wish I had found this earlier too, I might have been able to save my marriage. It hurts like hell loosing my husband but I know in the end it wll all be ok. I am so very sorry you are going through this.

Doubletakex3's picture

Submitted by Doubletakex3 on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 2:50pm

You are a woman of courage & strength. Please take good care of yourself and continue to bless us with your hard won wisdom.

HUGS & good juju to you!

Emerald's picture

Submitted by Emerald on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 2:51pm

Thank you so much for that love!!! You are right it is what I needed to hear. My heart aches for you and I wish I could just make all your pain go away. Just know that your words mean something to me and that they should mean the same to you! you are a good person and you gave it all you had. But at some point we just have to move on and know we are better people for having tried.

Anywho78's picture

Submitted by Anywho78 on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 3:01pm

(((((Dragonfly)))))

Thank you so much! That was beautiful & brought tears to my eyes.

I wish you well on this new road you are forging & that you find the love & happiness that you so desperately deserve.

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 5:08pm

This post is so sweet and sad at the same time Sad I know that I see so much of myself in your post Dragonfly even though we are strangers we are all connected by this step bond. I wish you all the best and hope to see you here to keep us posted on how you are doing.

Bubbly1's picture

Submitted by Bubbly1 on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 5:29pm

(((HUGS))) Dragonflyo226, that was sweet, and I can't speak for anyone but me, SO needed. You're a beautiful person for telling us what we need to hear. Even tho you're hurting. I'm so sorry. Continue to be strong. Your white knight is out there. Go get him girl!
I wish there was more I could say. You have left nothing to add.

Thank You so very much.

Dragonflyo226's picture

Submitted by Dragonflyo226 on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 6:26pm

Thank you all so much for your love, concern, and well wishes; you have no idea how much it means to me. I know that I will be referring back to this post often when I'm feeling sad, or lonely. It helps to know that there are people out there who understand in a way that my friends (but for 1), and family can't.
I know that this is for the best, as I said in my previous post, but this really hurts more than I thought it would.
I finish my associates degree in the spring (at 38, I wish I hadn't waited so long) & will be starting on my bachcelor's in the fall. Hopefully I will be taking the bar exam by the time I'm 43.
My point is, I have an amazing future ahead of me, with or without a man. For now I am going to do my very best to concentrate on me.
(((HUGS))), and love to all of you!!