Night mare
I had this really bad dream last night and I woke up so pissed off at FDH even though he didn't do anything and that it will never come true.
SO the dream was That FDH cheated on me with BM and got her pregnant (again) and he kept telling me that it was fine and that this time it would be different. This time it would be okay - like she was suddenly going to be the worlds best mom.
Now I don't think FDH would ever do that he HATES BM with a passion, he never has anything nice to say about her and BM can't have any more kids. But I think I know why I had that dream. I am dealing with my own feelings about everyone telling me what a good mom I am - but I am not a mom at all. I really want a baby of my own because I am sick of dealing with BM. But for whatever reason FDH can't make up his mind when it comes to me but marrying and having kids with BM had been a no brainier. Yet he brag all the time about how I cook, clean, take care of the kids and even in the bedroom i am better than she ever was. GRRRRRRRRR
This week i feel bad because I haven't felt like doing anything around the house. I can't even get him to help me set a wedding date then he picks at me for not planning the wedding.
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My BF and I have talked about
My BF and I have talked about getting married. Im 41 and have an 11 year old beautiful boy from my first marriage.Pregnancy has not come easy for me. I want another baby very badly. My boyfriend goes back and forth. One min he wants a baby the next he has cold feet. At my age I dont have time for him to make up his mind. Who knows maybe my eggs are already shriveled up and not good anymore anyway.
I am younger and I know I
I am younger and I know I have time but I don't want to wait too much longer. It's not making being around the sKids any easier. It more him and his family telling me what a great mother I am, yet I can't get him to commit to actually making me a mother.
I had a really similar dream
I had a really similar dream a couple of weeks ago, but FDH wasn't the one who knocked BM up. Not sure who had the honors, but FDH (for whatever reason) wanted BM to move into the spare room. His reasoning was the little spawn would be the boys' half-sibiling and he wanted their "family" all together. I couldn't believe it. I remember asking him incredulously, "I'm supposed to live here with you, and your kids, and your ex-wife and her new kid? Are you f-ing crazy?" Then I woke up.
I was really mad at him after the dream, even though I knew it was a dream. He thought it was hilarious since she didn't want the two kids she had, he couldn't imagine her getting pregnant again. And considering she's pretty much turned into a man-hating (b)witch, I can't imagine anyone's going to have the opportunity. Actually, he thinks she may have traded teams, but that's a different story...
Ok i think it is a virus
Ok i think it is a virus going around. Last saturday i had a simmilar dream, FDH went to drop the kids off. BM had gotten dumped by her BF and FDH "conforted" BM. I didnt find out untill 9 months later when she was taking FDH to court for more CS. FDH lied and repeatedly said it wasnt his. Well i didnt believe him, i did a mail order DNA test on their hair and it was a match. I woke up so pissed at FDH that i tossed him out of bed, i have vivid dreams and it is always hard to tell what is real when i first wake up.
I know that it wouldnt happen in real life but it felt so real. When i was a kid i had the worse night terrors, they quit for a few years then started back up when i was deployed, my shrink says they are stress related. I have found that taking time for yourself helps, a bubble bath with a glass of wine, a good book
I suffer form a mild form of
I suffer form a mild form of narcolepsy so I sleep very deep, which create long vivid dreams that are very real. And when I wake up i Hallucinate so it takes me awhile to figure out where the dream ended and reality begins.
And yes I am sure stress has something to do with it.